We all want to be the kind of person that others enjoy being around – especially as we grow older. However, there are certain behaviors many of us unknowingly cultivate that can make us less appealing.

The trick is identifying these behaviors and saying a firm goodbye to them. But trust me, it’s not as daunting as you might think!

Today, I’ll be sharing 7 such behaviors. Get ready to take notes!

1) Complaining

Complaining seldom serves anyone, and it definitely doesn’t make you more pleasant to be around. Instead, it drains the energy from conversations and can make others feel uncomfortable.

This is well-backed up by research. For instance, a recent survey by Kick Resume of over 3,000 workers found that chronic complaining was the third most irritating behavior in a co-worker. 

By consciously choosing to focus on the positive and expressing gratitude for what you have, you’ll find yourself becoming a more pleasant companion.

Everyone has their share of troubles. By keeping yours to a minimum, you allow others to do the same – making for lighter and more enjoyable interactions.

2) Being judgmental

I’ll admit that I used to be guilty of this one. 

I often found myself passing judgment on others, whether it was for their lifestyle choices, their opinions, or even their clothes. It was almost second nature to me.

What I didn’t realize then was how this habit was isolating me. People didn’t feel comfortable around me because they felt judged and criticized.

It wasn’t until a close friend pointed it out that I realized the impact of my behavior. From that point, I decided then to consciously work on being less judgmental.

Instead of jumping to conclusions about people, I started to listen more and try to understand their perspectives. 

And the change was remarkable – not only did people start to enjoy my company more, but I also found myself learning from their experiences and viewpoints.

Being judgmental can be a hard habit to break, especially if it’s ingrained in you. But trust me, the effort is worth it.

You’ll not only become more pleasant to be around, but you’ll also discover a whole new world of understanding and empathy.

3) Neglecting self-care

Aging gracefully isn’t just about maintaining a positive attitude – it’s also about taking care of your physical health.

As noted by the folks at Psych Central, a lack of self-care is associated with less patience, low energy, and even “strain or distancing in the relationship with your spouse or partner.”

So, don’t underestimate the power of a healthy lifestyle. It not only keeps you in good shape but also helps you maintain a positive and vibrant presence. 

4) Refusing to adapt

Change is the only constant in life. As so well put by Stoic philosopher Marcus Aurelius, “Nature loves nothing so much as to change what it is and to create new things in their likeness.”

Being flexible and open to new experiences is a key aspect of being pleasant to be around. Nobody enjoys the company of a person who stubbornly clings to the past or refuses to adapt to new situations.

This doesn’t mean you have to abandon your principles or values, but rather, stay open to new ideas, cultures, and technologies. Embrace change rather than resist it.

5) Ignoring others’ feelings

We’ve all been in situations where we felt overlooked or undervalued. It’s not a pleasant feeling.

That’s why the ability to empathize with others, to truly understand and validate their feelings, is a trait that makes a person wonderfully pleasant to be around.

Not acknowledging or brushing off someone else’s feelings can hurt them deeply. Moreover, it creates a barrier that prevents genuine connection and communication.

Make it a point to be more sensitive to the feelings of others. Listen when they speak, empathize with their experiences, and validate their emotions. 

You’ll be surprised at how much closer it brings you to people – and how much more they enjoy your company.

At the end of the day, we all just want to be heard and understood. By doing so for others, you’re making the world a little more pleasant, one interaction at a time.

6) Holding onto grudges

Once, I had a falling out with a close friend. It was a minor disagreement that blew up into something much bigger. Instead of resolving the issue, we both held onto our grudges.

Days turned into weeks, weeks into months, and before I knew it, years had passed.

I realized that holding onto that grudge was not serving me in any way. It was a weight that was holding me back from truly enjoying my life.

I decided to let go of that grudge, and it was like a weight lifted off my shoulders. I felt lighter, happier, and more at peace. It even helped me to rebuild my relationship with my friend.

The point?

Holding onto grudges as we age can lead to bitterness and resentment. But letting them go allows us to embrace the present and future with open hearts.

It makes us more pleasant to be around because it shows that we value relationships more than being right.

7) Forgetting to listen

In a world where everyone is eager to share their views, being a good listener is a rare and valuable trait.

As author Stephen Covey has noted, “Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.”

If you want to be truly likable, you need to be the exception here. 

It’s not just about being silent while the other person talks, but genuinely understanding and engaging with their thoughts and feelings.

When you truly listen to someone, you show them that you value their opinion and care about what they have to say. This can greatly enhance your relationships and make you more pleasant to be around.

Final thoughts

In the end, aging gracefully isn’t about holding onto youth but cultivating traits that invite warmth and understanding. 

By shedding these habits, you’re not only improving your interactions but also enriching your own life.

Embrace the change, foster connections, and remember – the journey to becoming someone others genuinely enjoy starts with small, intentional steps. 

Here’s to making every year one of growth and positivity!