Being likable in social situations isn’t about pretending to be someone else. It’s about being genuine and mindful of how your actions can affect others.

Sometimes, our behaviors, often formed unknowingly, can push people away. And trust me, you don’t want that.

In order to be more likable and connect better with others, you might have to bid adieu to certain habits.

Now, I’m going to share 9 behaviors you should consider saying goodbye to if you want to be more likable in social situations.

Don’t worry, it’s not as hard as it sounds!

1) Dominating the conversation

We all love to share our stories and experiences. It’s natural. But in a social situation, balance is key.

Frequently, we find ourselves in the company of people who love to talk about themselves endlessly. Their experiences, their achievements, their problems. And while it’s great to share, it can become tiresome for others if it’s one-sided.

This is where the concept of active listening comes into play.

Active listening is a communication technique used in counseling, training, and conflict resolution. It requires that the listener fully concentrate, understand, respond, and then remember what is being said.

Essentially, it involves taking an interest in the other person’s story instead of constantly steering the conversation back towards yourself.

If you wish to be more likable in social situations, consider practicing active listening. Show genuine interest in what others have to say. Ask questions. Make them feel heard and valued.

2) Being overly critical

I’ll be the first to admit, I used to have a bit of a critical streak. Years ago, I had this habit of immediately pointing out the flaws in things or people around me. It was almost like a reflex.

One day, a good friend pulled me aside and said, “You know, not everything needs your critique. Sometimes, people just need you to listen and be supportive.”

That hit me hard. I realized that my need to evaluate and criticize constantly was not making me more likable. In fact, it was pushing people away.

Since then, I’ve made significant efforts to curb this behavior. Sure, I still have an opinion, but I’ve learned to express it more constructively. And if it’s not necessary or helpful, I try to keep it to myself.

Being critical can make you seem negative and unsupportive.

Want to be more likable in social situations?

Try to offer encouragement and positivity instead of criticism. It can make a world of difference.

3) Neglecting body language

Our words aren’t the only thing that communicates our thoughts and feelings. Our body language plays a significant role too. In fact, studies show that up to 55% of our communication is nonverbal.

Imagine you’re at a party, slouched in a corner with your arms crossed, avoiding eye contact. Even if you’re saying all the right things, your body language might be sending a completely different message.

People often interpret crossed arms as a sign of defensiveness or disinterest. Similarly, avoiding eye contact can signal insecurity or lack of interest.

To be more likable in social situations, it’s important to pay attention to your body language. Stand straight, make eye contact, and keep your arms open. This will make you appear more approachable and engaged in the conversation.

4) Ignoring people’s personal space

Every individual has a certain level of comfort when it comes to personal space. It’s like an invisible bubble around us that we don’t appreciate being popped without permission.

Invading someone’s personal space can make them feel uncomfortable, intruded upon and can even come across as disrespectful. This is especially true in social situations where people are often meeting or interacting for the first time.

Becoming aware of this personal space and respecting it is a crucial part of being likable. It shows that you respect the other person’s boundaries and comfort.

Next time you’re in a social setting, be mindful of the physical distance you maintain with others.

If you’re unsure, it’s always better to lean towards giving more space rather than less. It’s a small change that can make a big difference in how people perceive you.

5) Being a chronic complainer

We all have bad days and it’s absolutely alright to vent out frustrations once in a while. But if complaining becomes a regular pattern, it can significantly impact how people perceive you.

Chronic complainers are often seen as energy drainers. They can bring down the mood of a group, dwelling on the negatives rather than focusing on solutions or the brighter side of things.

Consider this:

Try to shift your focus from problems to solutions. Instead of constantly complaining about issues, try to discuss potential solutions or look for the silver lining.

People generally prefer being around those who lift them up rather than those who pull them down. By adopting a more positive outlook, you can create a more enjoyable social atmosphere and become more likable in the process.

6) Not showing empathy

We all go through struggles and face challenges in life. During such times, what we crave the most is understanding and empathy from others.

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another. It’s about putting yourself in their shoes and viewing things from their perspective.

The key? 

Showing empathy. It can make people feel heard, understood, and less alone in their troubles.

The next time someone shares a problem or a challenge they’re facing, take a moment to truly listen and empathize. Let them know that they’re not alone and that their feelings are valid.

This simple act of understanding can go a long way in making you more likable and cherished by others.

7) Being closed off to new ideas

A few years back, I prided myself on being steadfast in my beliefs and ideas. It gave me a sense of identity and certainty. But over time, I realized it also made me rigid and resistant to growth.

Often, in our quest to be right, we close ourselves off to new ideas and perspectives. This can make us come across as stubborn and close-minded in social situations.

Learning to be open and receptive to new ideas not only makes us more likable but also allows for personal growth and development.

While it’s important to have strong beliefs, it’s equally important to be willing to listen, learn, and adapt.

It shows that you value others’ perspectives and are not afraid of growth and change. This openness can make you more likable as it invites deeper and more meaningful conversations.

8) Overdoing sarcasm

Sarcasm can be a great tool for humor and wit when used sparingly and in the right context. However, when overdone, it can come off as condescending and even hurtful.

Consistently responding to genuine questions or comments with sarcasm can make others feel invalidated or belittled. It creates a barrier that prevents authentic interaction and connection.

Make sure your intent is clear and your tone is light-hearted.

After all, while sarcasm might get a laugh in the moment, genuine conversation and connection will make you more likable in the long run.

9) Forgetting to be yourself

In our efforts to be liked, we sometimes lose sight of the most important thing – being ourselves. Authenticity resonates with people. It makes you relatable and trustworthy.

Pretending to be someone you’re not or trying to fit into a mold can be exhausting and people can usually see through it.

So, just be yourself.

Embrace your quirks, your passions, your strengths, and even your flaws. Because at the end of the day, the most likable you is the real you.

Final thoughts

At the heart of all social interaction is the yearning for connection. For understanding, acceptance, and mutual respect.

Renowned author and speaker, Brene Brown, once said, “We are hardwired to connect with others, it’s what gives purpose and meaning to our lives, and without it, there is suffering.”

Being likable isn’t about changing yourself or fitting into a mold. It’s about fostering that connection by being authentic, empathetic, respectful, and open to others and their perspectives.

Everyone you meet carries their own stories, struggles, and dreams.

By showing genuine interest, understanding, and respect towards them, you not only make yourself more likable but also create meaningful connections that enrich your own life.