If you want to be less judgmental as you get older, say goodbye to these 9 behaviors

Eliza Hartley by Eliza Hartley | August 30, 2024, 12:13 am

As we age, we tend to become more set in our ways, and this can often lead to judgmental behavior. We all have certain viewpoints and biases, but it’s crucial to keep them in check if we want to maintain good relationships and become better versions of ourselves.

In this piece, I’ll be sharing 9 behaviors you need to leave behind if you truly want a more open, accepting outlook as you age. Stick with me and let’s embark on this journey together.

1) Jumping to conclusions

We’ve all been guilty of it. We make a snap judgment about someone or something without having all the facts. It’s human nature, but it’s also a surefire way to become more judgmental as you age.

The truth is, jumping to conclusions rarely leads to accurate assessments. Instead, it often breeds misunderstanding and bias. It’s a habit we’re prone to fall into, especially when we’re in unfamiliar situations or dealing with people who are different from us.

So, how do you combat this?

Start by acknowledging this tendency in yourself. Whenever you catch yourself making a snap judgment, pause. Take a moment to consider whether you have all the necessary information to form an accurate opinion.

Remember, everyone has a story that you don’t know about. By resisting the urge to jump to conclusions, you take the first step towards becoming less judgmental.

2) Making assumptions based on appearance

I’ll confess, this is a behavior I’ve had to work hard to overcome myself.

I’ll never forget the day I met Mark, a heavily tattooed, motorcycle-riding individual who looked like he could be in a rock band. Based on his appearance, I instantly assumed he was a rebellious, hard-partying type of guy.

Imagine my surprise when I found out Mark was a dedicated family man, who spent his weekends volunteering at a local animal shelter and was also a talented classical pianist!

This experience was an eye-opener for me. It served as a stark reminder that appearances can be deceiving and that making assumptions based on someone’s external persona can be extremely misleading. It’s a habit I’ve consciously tried to abandon since then and has significantly helped me become less judgmental.

3) Labeling and stereotyping

Stereotyping is a common behavior that fuels judgmental attitudes. It involves categorizing people based on perceived traits, often influenced by societal norms or personal biases.

The danger of stereotypes lies in their lack of individuality. When we stereotype, we overlook the unique characteristics and experiences that define a person. Instead, we see them as a representative of a group, which is often inaccurate.

The psychological term for this is “out-group homogeneity bias”, where we perceive members of an ‘out-group’ as more alike than they actually are, while we view those in our ‘in-group’ as more diverse.

Breaking away from the habit of labeling and stereotyping people not only helps you become less judgmental but also allows for richer, more nuanced human interactions.

4) Ignoring personal growth

As we age, we tend to become more rigid in our beliefs and views. We think we’ve seen it all and know it all, which can lead to a judgmental mindset.

But here’s the thing – personal growth is a lifelong journey. It doesn’t stop when you reach a certain age or achieve certain milestones.

If you’re serious about becoming less judgmental, you need to stay open to learning and evolving. This might mean challenging your beliefs, seeking out new experiences, or even admitting when you’re wrong.

Embrace the fact that there’s always room for improvement and growth. This humility can go a long way in helping you become less judgmental as you get older.

5) Not practicing empathy

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. It’s a powerful tool in our social toolbox, helping us connect with people on a deeper level.

However, as we get older, we sometimes forget to practice empathy. Our world narrows down to our experiences and perspectives, and we dismiss others’ feelings and experiences as invalid or irrelevant.

If you want to be less judgmental, make a conscious effort to put yourself in other people’s shoes. Try to understand their perspective and feelings before forming an opinion.

6) Holding onto grudges

It’s human to feel hurt and betrayed. But holding onto grudges? That’s a choice.

And let me tell you, it’s a choice that can turn us into rather judgmental individuals as we age.

When we hold grudges, we’re essentially dwelling on negative feelings and replaying the same hurtful scenarios over and over in our minds. This not only hampers our happiness but also fuels judgmental behavior towards others.

Forgiveness, on the other hand, offers a path of healing and growth. It doesn’t mean forgetting or condoning what happened. It’s about accepting the past, learning from it, and letting go of the bitterness and resentment.

Because at the end of the day, life is too short to hold grudges. And choosing forgiveness over bitterness can turn you into a less judgmental person who exudes positivity and compassion.

7) Neglecting self-reflection

There was a time in my life when I was constantly on the go. Between work, family, and social commitments, I barely had time to breathe, let alone self-reflect. I found myself growing increasingly judgmental and irritable.

One day, I realized that this constant busyness was preventing me from examining my thoughts and behaviors. It was easier to judge others than to look inward and confront my own flaws and biases.

So, I made a change. I started setting aside quiet time for self-reflection each day. During this time, I would consider my actions, attitudes, and interactions with others. This practice helped me become more aware of my judgmental tendencies and work towards changing them.

Self-reflection can be uncomfortable, but it’s a powerful tool for personal growth and becoming less judgmental. Take some time out of your busy schedule to reflect on your thoughts and actions. Trust me; it’s worth it.

8) Being resistant to change

Change is inevitable. Yet, as we age, we often become more resistant to it. We like our routine, our comfort zone. We stick to what we know and resist anything that disrupts our status quo.

Unfortunately, this resistance can lead to a judgmental mindset. We may find ourselves judging people who do things differently or who challenge our way of thinking.

Being open to change is crucial if you want to be less judgmental. It allows you to see things from different perspectives and appreciate the diversity of life.

9) Failing to practice mindfulness

Mindfulness is more than just a buzzword; it’s a way of life. It’s about being present, fully engaged with what’s happening in the moment without judgment or distraction.

When we’re mindful, we’re more aware of our thoughts and feelings. This awareness allows us to recognize when we’re slipping into judgmental behavior and helps us shift our focus towards acceptance and understanding.

In essence, mindful living is the antidote to judgmental behavior. It’s not always easy to achieve, but with practice, it can become a natural part of your life, leading to deeper connections with others and a more open, less judgmental you.

Final thoughts: Embrace the journey

Becoming less judgmental as you age is a journey, one that requires patience, self-awareness, and a lot of compassion.

It’s about recognizing our biases, challenging our assumptions, and striving towards empathy and understanding. Learning to see the unique individual behind every stereotype, to see the human behind every label.

So as you move forward on this journey, remember to be gentle with yourself. Celebrate your progress and forgive your missteps. After all, we’re all works in progress, continuously learning and evolving.