Growing older is often associated with gaining wisdom and maturity. Yet, there’s a difference between merely growing older and truly becoming kinder and more accepting.

The difference lies in letting go. Letting go of certain behaviors that hold us back from becoming the compassionate, accepting individuals we aim to be.

If you’re on a journey to be gentler and more understanding as you age, there are some behaviors you may need to bid farewell to.

Here’s a list of 9 behaviors to reconsider as you strive to become a better version of yourself.

Keep in mind, this isn’t about self-criticism, but self-improvement.

So, let’s dive in!

1) Judgment

We’ve all been there. We stumble upon someone who lives, thinks or behaves differently, and we’re quick to pass judgment.

As we age, however, it’s crucial to realize that everyone has their own unique journey. We all have different backgrounds, experiences and perspectives that shape how we think and act.

Being judgmental creates a barrier between us and understanding others. It hampers our ability to empathize and be kinder.

If you want to be more accepting as you age, it’s key to say goodbye to the habit of judging people hastily. Instead, strive to understand where they’re coming from.

Remember, understanding doesn’t necessarily mean agreeing. But it allows for respect and acceptance of differences, which is a fundamental aspect of kindness.

Letting go of judgment can be challenging, but it’s a significant step towards becoming a gentler, more accepting person as we grow older.

2) Impatience

I can recall a time when my impatience got the better of me.

I was in a supermarket checkout line, and the woman in front of me was taking longer than I expected. My initial reaction was frustration. Why couldn’t she move faster?

But then, I took a deep breath and reminded myself that everyone has their own pace. Maybe she had a long day, was dealing with a personal issue, or simply needed extra time to sort her things out.

After all, what would I gain from letting impatience rule my thoughts?

Impatience can often lead us to be unnecessarily harsh or unkind. It’s a behavior that we need to let go as we age if we want to become more accepting and kinder.

Next time you feel your patience wearing thin, take a breather. Try to empathize with the other person’s situation. This small act of understanding can result in a big leap towards kindness.

And just as we tend to be very impatient with minor inconveniences, we often prove to be remarkably patient in another area…

3) Holding onto grudges

Holding onto grudges is like carrying a heavy backpack wherever you go. It can weigh you down, and prevent you from moving forward freely.

Did you know that studies have shown that letting go of grudges and forgiving others can improve mental and physical health? It can lower blood pressure, reduce stress and even boost your immune system.

As we age, it’s important to let go of any resentment or bitterness we may have harbored.

Releasing these negative emotions doesn’t necessarily mean forgetting the wrongs done to us, but rather, choosing not to let them control us anymore.

Embracing forgiveness allows us to be kinder and more accepting, not just towards others, but also towards ourselves.

4) Resistance to change

Change is a constant part of life. Yet, many of us resist it because it pushes us out of our comfort zones. We like predictability and stability, and change disrupts that.

But as we get older, it’s important to become more accepting of change. This acceptance is not only about big life changes like retirement or the loss of loved ones, but also about smaller ones like adapting to new technology or accepting new ideas.

Being resistant to change can make us rigid and less understanding of others. On the other hand, embracing change can open up our minds, make us more adaptable and kinder towards others who may be dealing with their own changes.

Embrace change, and you’ll find yourself growing kinder and more accepting.

5) Being self-centered

As we navigate through life, it’s natural to focus on our own needs and desires. But exclusively focusing on ourselves can lead to a lack of empathy and understanding towards others.

Being self-centered can hinder our ability to connect with others on a deeper level. It can prevent us from seeing things from their perspective, which is a key aspect of being kind and accepting.

As we age, it’s essential to shift our focus from being entirely self-centered to being more considerate of others. This doesn’t mean neglecting our own needs, but rather, balancing them with the needs of those around us.

By acknowledging and respecting the feelings and experiences of others, we not only foster stronger relationships but also grow as kinder, more accepting individuals.

And as we allow ourselves to focus on others a little more, we might also enable ourselves to let go of yet another behavior…

6) Ignoring the good in others

In a world where negative news often takes the spotlight, it’s easy to overlook the good in people. But every person has a story, every person has goodness within them.

It’s so important to remember that everyone is fighting their own battles, many of which we know nothing about.

Instead of focusing on the flaws and mistakes of others, let’s make an effort to see their strengths, their efforts, their kindness.

As we grow older, let’s make it a habit to look for and acknowledge the good in others. This simple shift in perspective can lead to profound changes in how we interact with and perceive those around us.

Fostering this habit not only helps us become more accepting of others, but it also brings warmth and positivity into our own lives. After all, a kinder world begins with kinder individuals.

7) Fear of showing emotions

I remember a time when I was hesitant to show emotions, thinking it was a sign of weakness. I would bottle up my feelings, put on a brave face, and pretend everything was fine.

But over time, I’ve learned that it’s okay to be vulnerable. It’s okay to feel and express our emotions. It’s what makes us human.

When we’re not afraid to show our emotions, we open the door for others to do the same. It creates a safe space for empathy, understanding, and acceptance to flourish.

So as we age, let’s work on dismantling this fear. Let’s strive to express our feelings honestly and encourage others to do the same. This not only makes us kinder and more accepting but also fosters deeper connections with the people around us.

8) Neglecting self-care

In the pursuit of taking care of others, it’s easy to forget about ourselves. We often put our needs on the back burner, thinking it’s a noble act.

But here’s the thing: neglecting self-care doesn’t make you a kinder person. In fact, it can have the opposite effect. When we’re physically exhausted or emotionally drained, we’re less likely to be patient, understanding, or kind towards others.

As we age, it’s crucial to prioritize self-care. This doesn’t mean just pampering ourselves, but also taking care of our mental and emotional health.

When we’re healthy and in a good state of mind, we’re better equipped to be kind and accepting towards others. So remember, taking care of yourself is not selfish – it’s necessary.

9) Not practicing gratitude

Gratitude is a powerful practice. It shifts our focus from what we lack to what we have. It fosters positivity, reduces stress, and enhances our overall well-being.

But more than this, gratitude makes us kinder. When we appreciate what we have, we’re less likely to be envious of others. We’re more likely to be understanding, accepting, and kind.

As we grow older, let’s make it a habit to count our blessings – big and small. Let’s appreciate the people in our lives and the experiences that shape us.

Practicing gratitude can truly transform us into kinder and more accepting individuals.

The essence: It’s a journey

The paths to kindness and acceptance are unique for everyone, tied closely with our individual experiences and perspectives.

Letting go of these nine behaviors is not about achieving perfection, but about growth and progress. It’s about striving each day to be a little bit kinder, a little more accepting than we were the day before.

Mark Twain once said, “Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.” When we choose to be kind, we choose to communicate in a language that transcends all barriers.

As we age, let’s continue cultivating kindness and acceptance within ourselves, not just for the sake of others, but also for our own peace and well-being.

Because at the end of the day, our journey towards kindness and acceptance is not just about changing our behaviors. It’s about changing our hearts.