Growing older is inevitable, but does it mean that happiness is a dwindling resource that is only available in youth?

Absolutely not.

Happiness as we age is not only possible, it’s entirely within our grasp. But, like any worthwhile pursuit, it requires us to examine and let go of certain habits that may be holding us back.

It’s interesting. We often accumulate stuff as we get older. Things like furniture, knick-knacks, and sometimes, less tangible things – habits that no longer serve us.

It’s these invisible habits which can truly weigh us down, impacting our ability to embrace joy and satisfaction in our advancing years.

Want to know the good news?

Just as we can declutter our physical space, we can also declutter our mental space by saying goodbye to these unnecessary habits.

Today, we explore eight such habits that you might want to consider leaving behind if you’re aiming for a happier, more fulfilling journey into your golden years.

Let’s dive in. 

1) Fearing failure

Failure. It’s a word that can send shivers down our spine. Yet, it’s often our fear of failure that holds us back more than actual failure itself.

Why is that?

Well, as we get older, we tend to play it safe. We stick to what we know and avoid taking risks. But the truth is growth often happens outside of our comfort zone.

Imagine if Thomas Edison had given up after his first few attempts at inventing the light bulb. He famously said, “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” He viewed each setback as an opportunity to learn and grow, eventually leading to one of the most transformative inventions in history.

Let’s be honest here. No one enjoys failing. It can be uncomfortable, even painful at times. But when we start to view failure not as a dead end but as feedback, it becomes a powerful tool for growth and learning.

Are you ready to make friends with failure? To see it as a stepping stone rather than a stumbling block on your journey towards happiness?

It might be one of the most liberating moves you could make as you step into your older years.

2) Craving approval

I can clearly recall an experience that profoundly shifted my perspective on the need for approval. It was back when I was building Ideapod, a platform aimed at fostering creativity and empowering individuals.

At the beginning, I was constantly seeking validation from others – investors, potential users, even family and friends. I wanted to be sure I was on the right track, that what I was creating was worthwhile.

But then, something happened.

One day, after a particularly disheartening meeting with potential investors, I found myself questioning whether my idea was good enough. Doubt crept in, and I felt deflated.

But after some reflection, it hit me. I had allowed the opinions of others to govern my self-worth and sense of success. I realized that seeking approval from others was not only emotionally exhausting but also distracted me from my true purpose—to create something meaningful and impactful.

So, I made a conscious decision – to release the need for external approval and instead, trust in my own vision and capabilities.

This shift wasn’t easy but it was liberating. It freed up energy for creative thinking and problem-solving. And most importantly, it led to a profound sense of inner peace and happiness.

As we age, this release from the need for approval is even more crucial. We must remember that our worth is not determined by external opinions but by our own inner values and actions. 

3) Comparing yourself to others 

Picture this: You’re scrolling through your social media feed, and you see a picture of an old friend standing next to their shiny new sports car. Or maybe it’s a colleague, in their perfectly decorated home, smiling with their seemingly perfect family.

It’s easy to look at these images and feel a pang of envy. Why don’t I have that car? Why isn’t my home as beautiful? Why doesn’t my family look that happy?

This comparison game is a trap.

No matter how many new cars you buy, how many times you redecorate your home, or how many picture-perfect family photos you post, there will always be someone else who seems to have it better.

The truth is, we’re often comparing our behind-the-scenes with other people’s highlight reels. We see the success, but not the struggle. The end result, but not the journey.

And here’s the kicker: When we constantly compare ourselves with others, we’re not only setting ourselves up for disappointment, we’re also missing out on appreciating what we already have.

Rather than getting tangled up in this endless comparison game, it’s time to turn our focus inward. To appreciate our own journey, our own achievements and most importantly, our own unique worth.

And as we get older, this shift can bring a profound sense of contentment and happiness that is far more satisfying than any external validation.

4) Pursuing an illusion of happiness

The world around us seems to be on a relentless pursuit of happiness. We’re taught to chase it, to make it the ultimate goal of our lives. But what if I told you that this chase is actually part of the problem?

In my video on “The Illusion of Happiness”, I dive deeper into why fixating on happiness can ironically make us miserable. It’s about understanding that life isn’t about avoiding pain or seeking pleasure, but about finding purpose and meaning in our experiences, both good and bad.

I invite you to watch it and reflect on your own relationship with happiness. Are you chasing an illusion? Or are you embracing life with all its ups and downs, finding fulfillment in the journey rather than the destination?

If this resonates with you and you’re interested in delving more into my philosophy of living with purpose and authenticity, I’d love for you to join me on my journey. Feel free to learn more here.

It’s all about living life with freedom, self-awareness, and a deep sense of fulfillment.

5) Being controlled by rigid dominance hierarchies

In our modern society, it’s easy to get caught up in hierarchies. We’re often taught from a young age that some people are ‘above’ us and others ‘below’ us based on factors like wealth, status, and power.

But here’s the thing: These hierarchies are not only limiting, they’re also harmful. They create divisions, breed resentment, and stifle creativity and cooperation.

When we tie our self-worth to our position within these hierarchies, we rob ourselves of the opportunity to find happiness and fulfillment in our own unique journey.

It’s time for a reality check.

Your worth is not determined by where you stand in a hierarchy. It’s defined by your actions, your values, and your impact on the world around you.

Instead of viewing others through the lens of hierarchy, let’s see them as fellow humans, each with their own unique strengths, challenges, and experiences.

When we do this, we open ourselves up to deeper connections and more fulfilling relationships. We allow ourselves to derive happiness from our shared humanity rather than our individual status. And that’s a far more sustainable source of joy as we age.

6) Living on autopilot

Here’s something you might not know. According to a study conducted by Harvard psychologists, almost half of our daily actions are not conscious decisions, but habits. Basically, almost 50% of our life is spent on autopilot!

We perform countless actions without even thinking about them – brushing our teeth, driving to work, scrolling through social media. While some of these automatic behaviors are harmless, others can limit our potential for happiness.

Living on autopilot means we’re not fully present in our lives. We’re simply going through the motions, missing out on the beauty and opportunities that each moment holds.

As we age, it’s essential to break free from this unconscious living. The first step? Awareness. Notice when you’re slipping into autopilot and make a conscious decision to be present instead.

Being fully present allows us to engage more deeply with our lives, fostering a sense of connection and joy that autopilot simply can’t match.

7) Obsession with material wealth

This is a big one.

How many of us fall into the trap of believing that the more money we have, the happier we will be?

Real prosperity goes far beyond financial wealth.

It’s about aligning our financial decisions with our deepest values. It’s about using money as a tool for positive change, not just personal gain. It’s about cultivating a sense of purpose, creativity, and ethical participation in the economy.

As we grow older, this understanding becomes even more critical. Accumulating wealth for the sake of it can lead to a hollow existence. On the other hand, using our resources to contribute to a cause we believe in can bring immense joy and satisfaction.

8) Thinking it’s best to ‘go it alone’

We live in a society that glorifies individualism. We’re often told that to be successful, we need to go it alone, be self-sufficient, and rely on no one but ourselves.

But here’s an essential truth: We are social beings. We thrive on connection, community, and shared experiences. As John Donne famously said, “No man is an island.”

In fact, research shows that having strong social connections can improve our health and increase our longevity. Not only that, but it also contributes significantly to our happiness and well-being.

As we age, these relationships become even more crucial. It’s through our connections with others that we find the courage to pursue our dreams, the resilience to overcome challenges, and the joy of shared experiences.

Moving forward with authenticity

If you find yourself resonating with some or all of these habits, take heart. Recognizing these patterns is the first step towards transforming them.

The key is self-awareness and conscious effort. By identifying these habits and making a conscious decision to let them go, you can pave the way for a more authentic, fulfilling life.

It’s about taking responsibility for your own happiness. It’s about valuing yourself enough to make decisions that align with your values, even if they might be uncomfortable at first. It’s about embracing obstacles as opportunities for growth and learning.

And you don’t have to do this alone. Connect with others who share your values and aspirations. Foster authentic relationships that enrich your life and contribute to your happiness.

As always, I hope you found some value in this post. 

Here’s to a happier, more purposeful you!