I’ve always considered myself an introvert—someone who appreciates the quiet moments just as much as a lively get-together.

Yet, one thing I’ve learned over the years is that nurturing our bonds with friends and family is crucial for long-term well-being.

Research in psychology supports this: strong social connections have been linked to lower stress levels, happier moods, and even longer lives.

If you want to keep those ties strong well into your 60s and beyond, here are nine habits you might want to leave behind.

1. Never Making Time for Loved Ones

It’s easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of daily life. We all have deadlines, chores, and errands—trust me, as a full-time writer in New York, I get it!

But if you never carve out time for loved ones, it sends a message that they’re not a priority.

According to developmental psychologist Erik Erikson, one core human need is to feel connected to others. So, instead of pushing phone calls or coffee dates aside, pencil them in first. Start small—maybe a weekly chat on the phone or a monthly lunch. Those little moments add up in a big way.

2. Holding Onto Grudges

Grudges have a sneaky way of draining your energy and pushing people away.

Someone once said, “Holding a grudge is like drinking poison and hoping the other person dies.”

Letting go doesn’t mean you have to forget what happened or ignore your feelings. It means you’re choosing peace over resentment.

If you need inspiration, consider journaling or talking it through with a friend or therapist—both are great ways to sort out lingering hurt and make room for healthier relationships.

3. Always Trying to Be Right

We’ve all been guilty of digging in our heels to prove a point. But here’s the thing: friendships and family bonds aren’t a debate competition.

Psychologist Carl Rogers emphasized the importance of empathy in understanding others’ perspectives.

Next time you’re tempted to argue until the cows come home, take a moment to truly listen. Ask questions instead of shutting them down.

Often, feeling heard can do wonders for keeping relationships solid, even if you still agree to disagree in the end.

4. Shying Away from Apologies

Let’s face it: admitting fault can be uncomfortable—especially for those of us who aren’t exactly social butterflies in the first place.

But a sincere apology can mend rifts faster than almost anything else. It’s also a sign of maturity and respect.

Think of it this way: do you enjoy being around someone who never admits when they’re wrong? Probably not.

Well, the same goes for everyone else. A simple “I’m sorry” can rebuild trust and pave the way for a deeper connection.

5. Focusing Too Much on Social Media

Social media can be a great way to stay in touch, but it’s no substitute for genuine face-to-face or voice-to-voice contact.

Endless scrolling can trap us in a digital bubble, where likes and comments replace genuine conversations.

Psychologist Sherry Turkle warns that online interactions can give an illusion of connection without the depth of real-life exchanges.

If you want to keep your relationships healthy, text or DM less and set up an actual call or meetup instead.

6. Avoiding Vulnerability

Opening up about fears, dreams, and feelings might feel risky, but vulnerability is the glue that holds deep relationships together.

I learned this the hard way when I first started living by myself in New York. I kept my worries to myself, too shy to let people see my insecurities.

In time, I realized that sharing my struggles with a close friend made us both feel more connected.

It’s like the famous Brené Brown quote: “Vulnerability is the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, courage, empathy, and creativity.”

When you allow yourself to be seen, you allow others to love you fully.

7. Sticking to Old Stereotypes

Maybe you’ve always labeled your brother as “the lazy one” or your friend from college as “the wild one.” Clinging to such stereotypes can put people in a box they’ve long outgrown. People evolve.

By refusing to update your perspective, you block the possibility of forming richer, more rewarding connections.

If you’re finding it hard to drop those labels, try treating each interaction like it’s your first time meeting them. It can be refreshing—and revealing—to see who they are now.

8. Neglecting Health—Physical and Mental

When you let your well-being slip, it can impact not only you but also your relationships.

Feeling moody, tired, or short-tempered because of poor health choices (like skipping sleep or neglecting exercise) can push people away.

As you enter your 60s and beyond, staying active and looking after mental health are even more crucial.

Plus, you’ll have more energy and patience to spend quality time with the people you love.

9. Saying “That’s Just How I Am”

We’ve all used this phrase to dodge accountability. But life is about growth and change—regardless of age.

If a certain behavior consistently hurts or alienates others, it might be time to adjust.

Legendary writer Maya Angelou once said, “Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.”

Embrace the idea that self-improvement isn’t just for the young. It’s never too late to become the person who communicates more openly, shows more empathy, and invests in relationships.

Final Thoughts

Building stronger connections with friends and family as you age isn’t about perfection. It’s about the willingness to learn, adapt, and put your loved ones first—at least as often as possible.

When you ditch these nine habits, you’ll find that the people who matter will naturally gravitate toward you.

And trust me, as an introvert who sometimes prefers a cozy corner over a party, I can attest that the richer those relationships become, the more fulfilling life will feel.

Here’s to nurturing deeper bonds, one conversation at a time.