Ever wonder why some people seem to be effortlessly liked while you sometimes struggle to connect?

It might not be about who you are but what you do. Certain behaviors can create a barrier between you and the social acceptance you crave.

Today, we dive into eight such habits that might be making people dislike you. We have all been guilty of some of these. How many do you recognize?

Let’s find out. 

1) Being overly critical

Ever noticed how people tend to avoid those who are always judging and criticizing?

That’s because it’s draining and unpleasant to be around such negativity.

A little constructive criticism can help others grow.

However, being overly critical or constantly negative can make people feel attacked or belittled.

Try to balance your criticism with appreciation. Show genuine interest in others and highlight their positives.

Everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses, including you. 

2) Dominating conversations

We’ve all encountered those people who seem to turn every conversation into a monologue about themselves. I learned the hard way that this behavior isn’t exactly endearing.

I remember a time when I was so excited to share my travel experiences that I monopolized the conversation, not letting others get a word in edgewise.

It wasn’t until a close friend pulled me aside and shared how I was coming across that I realized my mistake.

Conversations are meant to be a two-way street. It’s about sharing and listening, learning about others, and expressing yourself. 

Don’t make the same mistake I did.

As put by the Stoic philosopher Epictetus, “We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak.”  Give others the floor, show interest in their stories, and create a balanced dialogue. 

3) Being glued to your phone

Have you ever caught yourself checking or even mindlessly scrolling while someone’s talking to you? It’s easy to do, but what message are you sending?

Constantly checking your phone when you’re with others doesn’t just make you seem distracted—it can make people feel like they don’t matter.

But this behavior is so typical nowadays. We even have a name for this now: “phubbing” —a combination of “phone” and “snubbing,” used to describe ignoring someone in favor of our phones.

According to Healthline, nearly 32% of people report being “phubbed” two to three times a day. That’s a lot of ignored conversations.

The bottom line?

If you want to be more socially liked, put the phone down. Give people your undivided attention. Not only will it improve your connections, but it also shows respect.

4) Being insincere

It can be tempting to “fake it until you make it” in social situations. We might tell small lies or avoid the truth in the name of impressing others, but people have a knack for detecting insincerity.

Whether it’s feigned interest, false compliments, or fake laughter, it’s usually pretty obvious when someone isn’t being genuine.

Insincere behavior can make people feel uncomfortable and mistrustful. It gives off the impression that you’re trying to manipulate or deceive them, which can be a big turn-off.

Strive for authenticity in your interactions. Show genuine interest in others, give sincere compliments, and don’t be afraid to be yourself.

Authenticity breeds trust and likability. 

5) Not respecting boundaries

There was a time when I thought that being open and oversharing was a way to build deep connections. I’d ask personal questions, probe into private matters, and often overstep the comfort zones of others.

But I soon realized that this was a mistake. Instead of bringing me closer to others, it was driving them away. Not everyone is comfortable sharing their personal life, and that’s perfectly okay.

Respecting boundaries is crucial in building healthy and likable social relationships. It’s important to gauge the comfort level of others and not force intimacy.

A good rule of thumb is to let others lead when it comes to sharing personal information.

6) Avoiding vulnerability

One of my favorite quotes is by renowned researcher Brené Brown. She wrote:  

“Vulnerability is the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, courage, empathy, and creativity. It is the source of hope, empathy, accountability, and authenticity.”

Yet, so many of us shy away from vulnerability. We put up walls, afraid to let others see our true selves out of fear of rejection or judgment.

But here’s the thing—without vulnerability, real connections can’t form. People connect through shared experiences, emotions, and struggles.

By hiding behind a façade of perfection, you rob yourself of those deep, meaningful relationships.

Letting your guard down and being honest about your fears, struggles, or imperfections allows others to relate to you and trust you more.

Vulnerability fosters genuine bonds that make you not only more likable but also more human.

7) Always playing the victim

Life is full of ups and downs, and it’s natural to feel downcast when things don’t go our way.

However, consistently playing the victim and blaming others for our misfortunes can be a major social turnoff.

People are generally drawn to positivity and resilience. They admire those who take responsibility for their actions, learn from their mistakes, and bounce back stronger.

To be more socially liked, try adopting a more positive and accountable outlook. Instead of blaming others or circumstances for your woes, focus on what you can do to improve your situation. This shift in attitude will make you a more attractive person to be around.

8) Neglecting to show empathy

At the heart of every social interaction is the human connection, and nothing strengthens that connection more than empathy.

As so beautifully put by writer Mohsin Hamid, it’s “about finding echoes of another person in yourself.” Being able to understand and share the feelings of others is a powerful trait that can make you more likable. 

When we show empathy, we let others know that we see them, we hear them, and we value their experiences and emotions.

Empathy fosters trust, builds deeper connections, and makes people feel safe and accepted.

Final reflection: It’s about being human

The truth is, being socially liked isn’t about trying to change who you are—it’s about becoming more mindful of your behaviors and how they affect others.

By addressing these habits, you can foster stronger, more genuine connections and create a more positive social presence.

How many of these behaviors did you recognize in yourself?

It’s never too late to make a change.

Until next time.