As we get on in years, the desire for a life filled with peace, joy, and positivity often grows stronger. 

Yet, many of us unknowingly hold onto behaviors that create negativity, leaving little room for the good vibes we’re seeking.

The truth is, attracting more positivity into your life often has less to do with adding things and more to do with letting go—of habits, attitudes, and actions that don’t serve you.

Today, we’re diving into 6 behaviors to say goodbye to if you want to invite more light, gratitude, and optimism into your life. 

Let’s start clearing the path for positivity to flow!

1)  Holding onto grudges

It’s only natural that as we add more years to our lives, we also tally up a few more hurts.

Life has its ups and downs, and not every interaction leaves is going to leave us feeling warm and fuzzy.

But holding onto these hurts? That’s a recipe for unhappiness. 

Grudges weigh us down, stopping us from moving forward and stealing the mental space we could use to build positivity.

Experts seem to agree.

For instance, psychotherapist and author Sean Grover has noted that the stress of holding onto grudges is linked to increased anxiety, depression, and even physical health issues. 

On the flip side, forgiveness is associated with more happiness, peace, and emotional well-being.

I know—it’s easier said than done. Letting go of hurt can feel like giving up a part of yourself.

But forgiveness isn’t about excusing bad behavior or forgetting what happened. It’s about choosing yourself.

Choose forgiveness. Choose to let go—not because the other person deserves it, but because you deserve peace.

Choose happiness, and make room for the positivity that’s waiting to fill your life.

2) Comparing yourself to others 

Comparing ourselves to others is another behavior that can block positivity from our lives.

You see, it’s a losing battle, as there will always be someone who seems happier, wealthier, or more successful.

Let me share a personal story.

A few years ago, I found myself constantly comparing my success as a mindfulness enthusiast with others in the field.

I was always looking at their followers, their book sales, their speaking engagements. It was exhausting and disheartening.

Then one day, it hit me. I wasn’t focusing on my journey, my growth, or the people I was helping.

I was trapped in an endless cycle of comparison that was sucking the joy out of my work.

So, I made a conscious decision to stop comparing myself to others and instead focus on my path.

The result? A significant increase in positivity and fulfillment in my work.

As Theodore Roosevelt wisely said, “Comparison is the thief of joy.”

Let go of comparisons and embrace your unique journey.

3) Overlooking self-care

 

As we get older, our responsibilities tend to increase.

We have careers to manage, families to care for, and a host of other obligations that demand our time and energy.

It’s so easy to forget about ourselves and our own needs in the process.

But—and it’s a big but—we can’t pour from an empty cup.

When we neglect self-care, we not only deplete our own energy but also limit our ability to show up fully for the people and activities we care about.

Experts like those at Psych Central note that a lack of self-care is linked to worsening symptoms of depression, less patience, feelings of hopelessness, and even less motivation to engage in social activities.

Hardly the things we want to attract into our lives, right?

The point is this: self-care isn’t selfish—it’s essential. It’s the foundation for maintaining the energy, resilience, and positivity we need to thrive.

Whether it’s taking a quiet walk in nature, scheduling regular exercise, eating nourishing meals, or simply carving out time to read a book, self-care can look different for everyone.

The key is to make it a priority, no matter how busy life gets.

When you take care of yourself, you’re not just improving your own well-being—you’re creating space for positivity to flow into every aspect of your life.

4) Clinging onto a need for control

We all like to feel in control.

It gives us a sense of security and predictability. 

However, trying to control everything can lead to stress and disappointment.

It limits our ability to adapt, grow, and welcome new experiences into our lives. It stifles positivity.

In my book, Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego, I delve into this concept further.

I discuss the beauty of surrendering control and living in the present moment.

But for now, just know that letting go of the need for control doesn’t mean becoming passive or complacent.

It means embracing uncertainty, accepting what we can’t change, and focusing on what we can influence.

5) Constant positivity

Now, this might sound counter-intuitive, but hear me out.

Trying to be positive all the time can actually block genuine positivity from our lives.

It’s what psychologists call “toxic positivity”.

It’s the pressure to maintain a positive outlook, even when faced with serious challenges or painful emotions. 

This can lead to denial, minimization, and invalidation of genuine feelings.

The key is not to strive for constant positivity, but to seek emotional authenticity.

Allow yourself to feel all emotions – the good, the bad, and the ugly. They all have something to teach us.

By accepting all parts of our emotional experience, we create space for genuine positivity.

We become more resilient, more authentic, and more in touch with who we really are.

6) Chasing perfection

Lastly, if you want to attract more positivity into your life as you age, it’s time to say goodbye to the pursuit of perfection.

Why?

Because quite frankly, perfection is an illusion.

It’s an unattainable standard that can leave us feeling perpetually inadequate and dissatisfied.

It’s a surefire way to drain positivity from our lives.

Again, this is well-backed up by experts who have noted that perfectionism is associated with depression and anxiety. 

What we should strive for instead is progress.

Celebrate every step forward, no matter how small.

Embrace imperfections as part of being human and see mistakes as opportunities to learn and grow.

It’s not about being perfect; it’s about being better than you were yesterday.

Final thoughts: The journey towards positivity

The journey to attracting more positivity into your life doesn’t require perfection—it requires intention.

By letting go of these behaviors, you’re not just clearing away negativity; you’re creating room for joy, gratitude, and growth to take root.

And the best part is it’s never too late to make these changes.

Small, consistent steps can lead to a significant shift in how you experience life. 

Here’s to a brighter, more optimistic you!