Wavelength is everything when it comes to connecting with the right people.

Those who truly resonate with you have the power to elevate your life, bringing energy and harmony to your relationships.

But often, the key to attracting these individuals isn’t simply searching for them—it’s letting go of the behaviors that unknowingly push them away.

By releasing old patterns and self-defeating habits, you create the space needed for deeper, more genuine connections. These shifts allow you to draw in people who truly align with your values and energy.

In this article, we’ll uncover 8 behaviors that may be standing in the way of authentic connections, and why leaving them behind is essential to attracting the right people into your life.

1) Pretending to fit in

We all want to feel that we belong, and many of us have at times masked our true selves to fit in with a crowd. But in the pursuit of authenticity and attracting like-minded people, this behavior can be counterproductive.

Pretending to be someone you’re not is like sending out a false signal. It attracts those who resonate with the facade rather than your true self.

The result?

You end up surrounded by people who don’t truly align with your values or understand your dreams.

Being authentic might feel vulnerable at first, but it’s the key to attracting those on your wavelength. Authenticity acts as a beacon, drawing in those who value and relate to your true self.

So, start embracing your uniqueness, your quirks, your passions. Show the world who you truly are. The right people will appreciate you for it, and these are the connections that will enrich your life in meaningful ways.

2) Avoiding vulnerability

There’s a common belief that vulnerability is a sign of weakness, and I’ve found myself battling this misconception from time to time.

But in reality, vulnerability is one of the greatest strengths we possess. It signifies the courage to be true to ourselves and to show up as we are, without any pretenses.

Avoiding vulnerability leads to surface-level relationships. It’s only when we allow ourselves to be seen, with our strengths and weaknesses, joys and fears, that we form deep, authentic connections. Those relationships are the ones that resonate on our wavelength.

Brené Brown, a renowned researcher and someone I admire for her work on vulnerability and courage, eloquently puts it this way: “Vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage. Truth and courage aren’t always comfortable, but they’re never weakness.”

Let’s embrace our vulnerability as a strength and watch as it draws in those who appreciate our authentic self.

3) Chasing happiness

A common behavior that can repel people from our wavelength is the relentless pursuit of happiness. This constant chase causes us to overlook the present moment, the experiences that shape us, and the growth that emerges from discomfort.

Living a truly meaningful life isn’t centered on always being happy. It’s about embracing all emotions, even the less pleasant ones, and finding contentment within ourselves, regardless of external circumstances.

In one of my videos, I delve into “the illusion of happiness” and how chasing it can actually make us more miserable.

It challenges the common belief that happiness is the ultimate goal and offers a fresh perspective on finding contentment.

Letting go of the need for constant happiness allows us to be more authentic. It enables us to connect with others on a deeper level, as we share not only our joys but also our struggles.

Take a look at my video for more insights into this topic:

Want to join over 30,000 others exploring life with more purpose and freedom? Subscribe to my YouTube channel here for insights on living an authentic life.

4) Living in fear of judgment

Many of us modify our behaviors or hide parts of ourselves due to the fear of being judged. We’re so concerned about what others may think or say that we end up limiting our own potential and authenticity.

David Icke pointed out, “The greatest prison people live in is the fear of what other people think.” This fear can keep us from expressing our true selves and connecting with people who truly understand us.

It restricts our freedom to be who we are, curtails our creativity, and hinders our ability to build genuine relationships.

When we release this fear, we create space for authenticity. We give ourselves permission to make choices that align with our core values rather than societal expectations.

This liberation from judgment allows us to attract those who admire us for who we truly are, not who we’re pretending to be.

Living in alignment with our values and being a force for positive change in the world isn’t possible when we’re shackled by the fear of judgment.

It’s only by embracing our unique selves, without fear or hesitation, that we can truly thrive and attract those on our wavelength.

5) Shying sway from responsibility

Shirking responsibility is a behavior that can deter like-minded individuals from connecting with us.

When we constantly blame external circumstances or other people for our problems, we portray ourselves as victims of our circumstances rather than as active participants in our own lives.

Taking full responsibility for our lives is empowering. It shifts the focus from what’s happening to us to how we’re responding. This level of self-accountability is attractive to those who appreciate and practice it themselves.

By acknowledging our role in our experiences, we open ourselves up to growth and learning. We demonstrate resilience and show that we’re capable of transforming challenges into opportunities for improvement.

This is a critical aspect of attracting people on our wavelength – those who value personal growth, resilience, and a proactive approach to life.

For more insights on embracing responsibility and transforming your life, you may find value in my video where I share several personal freedom hacks:

6) Seeking constant harmony

While it may seem counterproductive, always seeking harmony in our relationships can actually push away those who share our values.

This is because authentic relationships aren’t always harmonious, they involve disagreements, conflicts, and challenges.

Harmony is comforting, but constant harmony can signal a lack of authenticity or a fear of confronting difficult issues. It’s in the midst of conflict and disagreement that our true selves reveal themselves. These moments test our values, our resilience, and our ability to empathize and cooperate.

When we embrace the occasional disharmony as an inherent part of authentic relationships, we attract people who value honesty, growth, and depth in their interactions.

These are the people who are likely to be on our wavelength – those who value the rawness of genuine connections over the superficiality of constant harmony.

7) Staying within your comfort zone

Staying within your comfort zone may feel safe and familiar, but it also stifles growth and exploration.

It prevents you from experiencing new things, learning, and meeting individuals who can enrich your life.

Daring to step outside of your comfort zone broadens your horizons and signals to others your openness to new ideas and experiences.

This willingness to explore is attractive to those who appreciate growth, exploration, and the rich tapestry of diverse experiences life has to offer.

As Neale Donald Walsch wisely stated, “Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.” Welcome the discomfort of venturing beyond your familiar territory. Treat it as a sign of growth and an opportunity to learn.

8) Neglecting self-compassion

Neglecting self-compassion can significantly hinder our ability to connect with like-minded individuals. Self-compassion means treating ourselves with the same kindness, understanding, and patience we extend to others.

Engaging in harsh self-criticism and berating ourselves for mistakes fosters a negative atmosphere that can push people away. Practicing self-compassion cultivates a mindset of kindness and acceptance that naturally radiates outward.

Those who appreciate these qualities are likely to be drawn to us as we show ourselves compassion. They will recognize our authenticity and our capacity to embrace our imperfections without allowing them to define us.

Prioritize self-compassion. Treat yourself kindly, forgive your mistakes, and celebrate your progress.

Attracting your tribe

Navigating life’s intricacies reveals that our behaviors and choices are deeply connected to our authentic selves. How we act, react, and interact shapes our journey and influences the people we attract.

Aligning our behaviors with our core values and aspirations is a transformative process that demands introspection, courage, and the willingness to release unhelpful patterns.

This journey is not solitary. Embracing authenticity helps us attract like-minded individuals—those who resonate with our values, appreciate our growth, and inspire us to evolve.

These connections reflect our commitment to living with freedom, respect, empathy, and creativity.

As you consider your behaviors and the individuals you wish to attract, ask yourself: Are you ready to let go of what no longer serves you to welcome more authentic connections?