Building a deeper connection with family as you age requires intentional effort and self-awareness.

Certain habits can unintentionally create distance or tension, making it harder to strengthen these important relationships.

If you’re seeking a closer bond with your loved ones, here are eight habits to let go of to foster understanding, trust, and genuine connection:

1) Spending too much time on technology

We live in a world where technology is king—and it’s not always a bad thing.

It keeps us connected, informed, and entertained but, like all good things, too much of it can have negative effects.

When you’re constantly glued to your phone, tablet, or computer screen, you’re not really present; you may be physically there with your family, but your mind is elsewhere.

And that’s a problem: Meaningful connections can’t be formed through screens because they’re formed through shared experiences, through laughter, and tears, and everything in between.

If you want a stronger connection with your family as you get older, it’s time to put down the tech and truly be present.

It might be hard at first, but trust me, it’ll be worth it in the end.

2) Holding on to grudges

A few years back, I had a major falling out with my older sister; a silly misunderstanding that blew up into a full-blown argument.

I was so mad at her that I stopped talking to her for months.

But as time passed, that grudge I was holding on to? It wasn’t hurting just her—it was hurting me and our sibling relationship.

One day, I decided to let it go; I picked up the phone, called her, and we talked it out.

It wasn’t easy, but it was necessary.

And you know what? Our relationship has been stronger ever since!

Holding grudges might feel satisfying in the moment, but in the long run, it only damages your relationships. 

Life is too short for unnecessary drama.

3) Not expressing your feelings

Did you know that almost 40 percent of US children have trouble forming strong, emotional bonds with their parents (and family)—that’s almost half the population!

When you keep your feelings bottled up, it creates a barrier between you and your family members.

Your family might sense something is off, but without knowing what’s really going on, they can’t offer support or understanding.

Expressing your feelings simply means being open about your emotions when it matters.

4) Neglecting quality time

We often get so caught up in the hustle and bustle of life that we forget to make time for the ones who matter most—our family.

Quality time is about engaging with each other, sharing stories, creating memories, and showing appreciation.

Having quality time could be as simple as having dinner together without any distractions or planning a family outing once a month.

The goal here is to create an environment where everyone feels heard, loved, and valued.

Remember, it’s not about how much time you spend together, but how you spend that time—make quality time a priority.

5) Avoiding tough conversations

I’ll be the first to admit, I used to shy away from tough conversations.

To me, tough conversations are uncomfortable, awkward and, honestly, it’s just easier to sweep things under the rug.

But here’s what I’ve learned: Avoiding difficult discussions doesn’t make the problem go away as it merely delays the inevitable and often makes things worse in the long run.

I’ve found that when I face these situations head-on, yes, there may be some initial discomfort, but it also leads to understanding, growth, and ultimately, stronger connections within my family.

Embrace tough conversation—it’s through these discussions that we learn more about each other and ourselves.

6) Always being the peacekeeper

It might seem like always being the peacekeeper in your family is a good thing.

After all, who doesn’t want a harmonious household?

But here’s the twist: Constantly playing the role of the peacemaker can sometimes do more harm than good, preventing important discussions from happening and allow underlying issues to fester.

There’s a fine line between keeping the peace and enabling unhealthy behavior, and it’s important to know when to step in and when to let things play out.

7) Being too critical

We all have our flaws and make mistakes, and it’s easy to point out these flaws in our family members.

We know our family better than anyone else.

Constant criticism, no matter how well-intentioned, can create resentment and drive a wedge between you and your loved ones.

Rather than focusing on the negatives, try to appreciate the positives; highlight their strengths, celebrate their achievements, and offer constructive feedback when necessary.

If you want a stronger connection with your family as you get older, it’s important to cultivate an environment of understanding and acceptance.

At the end of the day, family is about loving each other despite our imperfections.

8) Failing to show appreciation

Nothing strengthens a bond like showing genuine appreciation—it’s the glue that holds relationships together.

When you take the time to express gratitude for your family members—for their love, their support, their quirks—it not only makes them feel valued but also deepens your connection with them.

Make it a habit to say thank you, to express your love, and to show your family that you appreciate them.

It’s the simplest, yet most powerful thing you can do!

Embracing the journey of connection

If you’ve made it this far, you’re probably someone who values their family connections and is willing to work towards strengthening them.

Relationships aren’t built overnight, requiring constant effort, understanding, and above all, love.

It’s about being present, being open, and being kind.

American writer and futurist Alvin Toffler once described technology as, “The great growling engine of change.”

In today’s fast-paced, tech-driven world, it’s vital to cherish the irreplaceable warmth of family bonds.

Reflect on your habits: What might you let go of, and what could you nurture?

Small changes can lead to deeper connections with your family over time—and isn’t that worth it?