Being a great conversationalist isn’t just about talking; it’s all about making the other person feel heard and valued.

The crucial difference lies in your choice of words.

Using the right phrases can turn a mundane conversation into a meaningful one, without sounding pushy or insincere.

As a seasoned conversationalist, I’ve learned that there are specific phrases that can make your dialogues more engaging, influential, and memorable.

So, let’s explore these phrases together. Here are the 9 phrases that if used correctly, probably make you an exceptional conversationalist.

1) “I see what you mean…”

In the world of conversation, understanding is key.

Great conversationalists know the value of making the other person feel understood.

It’s not about agreeing with everything they say, but acknowledging their point of view.

Welcome to the essence of empathy!

Empathy, a term widely used in psychology, relates to the capacity to understand or feel what another person is experiencing.

It’s a powerful tool that can turn a basic conversation into a meaningful connection.

Consider this. It’s the reason behind every successful counselor, and it’s the grounds that make a friend feel heard and valued.

Here’s the thing, when a person feels understood, they are more likely to open up and engage in deeper conversations.

They tend to trust you more and consider you a good listener.

If you want to be known as a great conversationalist, make a habit of using phrases like “I see what you mean…” to let others know that you’re truly listening and understanding their point of view.

Not so fast, it’s not about pretending or manipulating.

Be genuine in your response if you want to maintain trust and authenticity in your conversations.

2) “That reminds me of when…”

Sharing personal experiences in a conversation can create a sense of connection and relatability.

I recall a time when I was chatting with a friend who was going through a tough time at work.

She mentioned how her boss was constantly micromanaging her, making it difficult for her to complete her tasks efficiently.

Instead of just nodding and expressing sympathy, I shared a personal experience.

I said, “That reminds me of when I had a similar situation in my previous job. My manager would always be checking up on me, and it felt suffocating. I found that having a frank conversation about how I felt helped.”

Sharing this experience did two things.

It made her feel less alone in her situation, knowing someone else had gone through something similar.

Moreover, it opened up the discussion for potential solutions.

So remember, sharing personal anecdotes isn’t just about filling the air.

When done right, it can create deeper connections and make your conversations more impactful.

3) “Have you ever considered…”

Asking thoughtful questions is a powerful way to steer a conversation while making the other person feel valued and engaged.

“Have you ever considered…” is a phrase that does exactly that.

It gently introduces new ideas or perspectives without imposing your views on the other person.

For instance, in a discussion about climate change, you might say, “Have you ever considered how adopting a plant-based diet can significantly reduce our carbon footprint?”

Interestingly, according to a study published in the journal Science, if everyone stopped eating meat and dairy products, global farmland use could be reduced by more than 75% – an area equivalent to the US, China, European Union and Australia combined – and still feed the world.

You see, this approach not only introduces new information but also stimulates deeper thinking and discussion.

In short, it’s an art of conversation that turns ordinary chit-chat into meaningful dialogue.

4) “I never thought about it that way…”

Acknowledging the uniqueness of someone else’s perspective is an effective way to make them feel valued in a conversation.

The phrase “I never thought about it that way…” communicates your openness to new ideas and shows respect for the other person’s viewpoint.

For example, if your friend shares an unconventional approach to solving a problem, instead of dismissing it right away, you might say, “I never thought about it that way, but now that you mention it, it does make sense.”

Using this phrase not only enhances mutual respect but also promotes an atmosphere of learning and growth in your conversations.

It’s a small shift in how you respond, but it can significantly improve the quality of your interactions.

5) “That’s a good point…”

Appreciating someone’s input during a conversation is a wonderful way to make them feel valued and heard.

The phrase “That’s a good point…” shows that you are actively listening and considering their opinion.

However, it doesn’t necessarily mean you agree, but it indicates that you respect their viewpoint.

For instance, if you’re discussing a controversial topic, like politics, using this phrase can keep the conversation from getting heated.

Even if you disagree with someone’s stance, acknowledging the validity of their argument can help maintain a respectful dialogue.

By using phrases like “That’s a good point…”, you’re showcasing your open-mindedness and creating an environment where everyone feels comfortable sharing their thoughts.

In essence, this phrase is simple but can make a huge difference in the quality of your conversations.

6) “I truly appreciate…”

Expressing appreciation in a conversation is a heartfelt way to make the other person feel valued and seen.

The phrase “I truly appreciate…” goes beyond mere politeness. It’s a genuine expression of gratitude that can make the other person feel special.

For example, you might say, “I truly appreciate your willingness to help me with this project. Your expertise has made a huge difference.”

Such an expression of gratitude not only boosts the other person’s morale but also strengthens the bond between you.

The truth is that in today’s fast-paced world, it’s easy to take things for granted.

But by using phrases like “I truly appreciate…”, we can bring warmth and authenticity into our conversations, making them more meaningful and memorable.

7) “I’m not sure I understand…”

Honestly speaking, admitting when you don’t understand something isn’t always easy.

It can make you feel vulnerable, like you’re exposing a weakness. But in reality, it’s a sign of strength.

The phrase “I’m not sure I understand…” shows your willingness to learn and your commitment to clear, honest communication.

A few years back, I was in a meeting with a group of tech experts discussing complex software issues.

As a non-tech person, I found myself lost in the jargon. Instead of nodding along, I admitted, “I’m not sure I understand this completely.

Could you please explain it in simpler terms?”

This not only helped me grasp the concept better but also made the experts realize they needed to simplify their language when talking to non-tech people.

Think of it like this: Admitting when you don’t understand something can contribute to better communication and deeper connections in your conversations.

8) “This might sound silly but…”

When we’re in a conversation, we sometimes hold back our thoughts fearing they might sound silly or irrelevant.

The phrase “This might sound silly but…” is a great way to express those thoughts without feeling judged.

Why?

It shows your self-awareness and your willingness to take risks in sharing your ideas.

For example, you might say, “This might sound silly but have you ever thought about what dogs dream about?”

While it’s an unconventional question, it could lead to an interesting and fun conversation.

Using this phrase encourages open and lively discussions, making your conversations more dynamic and enjoyable.

It’s a simple way to add color and depth to your dialogues.

9) “Tell me more about…”

Encouraging others to share more about their experiences or thoughts is the foundation of great conversation.

The phrase “Tell me more about…” signals your genuine interest in the other person’s story.

In other words, it invites them to dive deeper into their thoughts or experiences, fostering a sense of connection and understanding.

Say that someone mentions a hobby they’re passionate about, you could say, “Tell me more about how you got into gardening.”

Do you see it? This not only keeps the conversation flowing but also makes the other person feel valued and listened to.

Truly engaging conversations go beyond surface-level chatter.

They involve genuine curiosity, empathy, and the willingness to delve deeper. 

Final thoughts

A memorable conversation lies not in the words we utter but in the connections we build.

The phrases we’ve explored are more than just strings of words.

Truth be told, they’re bridges that allow us to reach out to others, to understand and appreciate their experiences, thoughts, and emotions.

Dr. Carl W. Buechner beautifully captured this essence when he said, “They may forget what you said, but they will never forget how you made them feel.”

This applies profoundly to conversations. The feeling of being heard, understood, and valued is what stays with people long after the words have faded.

The next time you’re engaged in a conversation, be mindful that your words have the power to influence and inspire, to create a safe space for honesty and vulnerability, to encourage learning and growth.

Ultimately, being a great conversationalist isn’t about sounding smart or being right.

It’s about creating meaningful connections that enrich both your life and the lives of those you interact with.