In any conversation, the essence lies in mutual listening: you listen when they speak, and they listen when you talk.

But let’s be honest—not all conversations are the same.

Some people have a unique gift with words that sets them apart.

Their secret often lies in the specific phrases they use.

I’ve observed that truly exceptional conversationalists frequently rely on these 8 phrases:

1) You’re constantly saying “Tell me more”

Conversations are a two-way street.

And as a conversationalist, your role isn’t just to talk but to listen. But we all know that. What sets exceptional conversationalists apart is their ability to engage others in the discussion actively.

How do they do that? One of the phrases they often use is “Tell me more”.

This simple yet powerful phrase shows genuine interest and curiosity. It opens up a space for others to share their thoughts, ideas, and feelings without feeling judged or interrupted.

More importantly, it encourages a deeper conversation – one that goes beyond the surface level. It’s all about digging deeper and understanding the person you’re conversing with on a deeper level.

2) “I understand where you’re coming from”

There’s a lot to be said for empathy in a conversation.

I remember once while catching up with an old friend, she started to open up about her struggles at work. Instead of jumping in with my own experiences or giving unsolicited advice, I simply told her: “I understand where you’re coming from”.

This phrase did two things. One, it validated her feelings and made her feel heard. And two, it built a bridge between us – even though I hadn’t been in her exact situation, I was able to empathize and show that I was trying to understand her perspective.

It demonstrates empathy, kindness, and respect for their experiences – all key traits of an exceptional conversationalist.

3) “That’s a great point”

In the world of debate, acknowledging your opponent’s arguments is seen as an effective strategy. It shows that you’re not just listening, but actually processing and considering their points of view – even if you don’t necessarily agree with them.

The same principle applies in everyday conversations. Using the phrase “That’s a great point” is more than just a compliment. It serves as a validation of the other person’s thoughts and ideas, fostering a sense of mutual respect.

When you acknowledge someone’s perspective in this way, you’re creating an environment where ideas can be exchanged freely and openly. In turn, this enriches the conversation, making it more engaging and meaningful for both parties.

4) “I never thought about it that way”

The beauty of conversations is in the exchange of ideas and perspectives, and sometimes, these exchanges can lead to a change in our own viewpoints.

When you use the phrase “I never thought about it that way”, you’re conveying an openness to new ideas and a willingness to shift your own perspective. It’s a humbling admission that you don’t know it all, and that someone else’s viewpoint has given you something to ponder.

It’s this kind of humility and openness that makes a conversation meaningful and memorable. So, if you’re often using this phrase, you’re likely an exceptional conversationalist who leaves a lasting impression.

5) “I appreciate your insight”

Sometimes, the best conversations are the ones that challenge us, push us out of our comfort zones, and make us see things from a different perspective.

I’ve had many of these enlightening discussions in my life, and one phrase I find myself using frequently is “I appreciate your insight”. It’s not just about being polite or making the other person feel good. It’s about sincerely acknowledging the value they’ve added to the conversation.

When I say “I appreciate your insight”, I’m not only expressing my gratitude for their contribution, but also showing them that their thoughts have had an impact on me. It’s a simple yet powerful way of enhancing the depth and quality of any conversation.

6) “I don’t quite agree”

It might seem odd, but disagreement is actually a key ingredient in productive conversations. The phrase “I don’t quite agree” isn’t about sparking conflict or asserting dominance; it’s about fostering a healthy exchange of ideas.

When used respectfully, this phrase shows that you’re actively engaged and not just passively absorbing what the other person is saying.

It stimulates further discussion and invites the other person to elaborate on their viewpoint, thus deepening the conversation.

7) “Can you elaborate on that?”

Asking someone to elaborate is a powerful tool in any conversation. It shows that you’re actively engaged and interested in understanding their perspective more deeply.

The phrase “Can you elaborate on that?” invites the other person to share more of their thoughts and feelings. It gives them the space to express themselves fully, and it gives you the opportunity to understand them better.

Exceptional conversationalists use this phrase to keep the conversation flowing and to delve deeper into the topic at hand.

8) “Thank you for sharing that”

The most important aspect of being an exceptional conversationalist is showing gratitude for the exchange of thoughts and ideas. Saying “Thank you for sharing that” is a sincere acknowledgement of the other person’s contribution to the conversation.

This phrase conveys respect and appreciation for the other person’s thoughts and experiences. It shows that you value their time, their perspective, and their willingness to engage in a meaningful conversation with you.

In its essence, a conversation is a gift – a sharing of oneself – and expressing gratitude for that gift is what truly sets an exceptional conversationalist apart.

Embracing the art of conversation

Conversations are about listening, responding with empathy, respectfully challenging ideas, and expressing gratitude for the exchange.

The phrases we’ve discussed are more than mere words; they are tools for engagement, bridges of understanding, and signs of respect.

They demonstrate genuine interest and a desire to connect meaningfully.

Being an exceptional conversationalist is an art that requires practice, patience, and sincerity—but it’s a skill anyone can master.

Next time you’re in a conversation, use them as guiding principles to engage more deeply, listen better, and connect authentically!