I used to put up with a lot from people—things that drained my energy, hurt my feelings, and made me question my own worth. I told myself I was being patient, understanding, or just keeping the peace. But in reality, I was tolerating behavior that showed a serious lack of self-respect.

The truth is, people will treat you however you allow them to. If you don’t set boundaries, they won’t magically respect them. And if you keep excusing bad behavior, it’s only going to continue.

If you find yourself accepting these behaviors from others, it might be time to take a step back and ask yourself why—because self-respect means knowing when to walk away.

1) People who constantly disrespect your time

We all have busy lives, and time is one of the most valuable things we have. So why would you keep tolerating people who consistently waste yours?

Whether it’s someone who always shows up late, cancels plans last minute, or expects you to drop everything for them, these behaviors show a complete lack of respect. And if you keep letting it slide, you’re sending the message that your time—and by extension, you—don’t matter.

Respect starts with you. If someone repeatedly disregards your time, it’s up to you to set boundaries or stop giving them access to it.

2) Friends who only reach out when they need something

I used to have a friend who would disappear for months, only to suddenly text me when they needed a favor. At first, I told myself they were just busy. But over time, I realized the pattern—whenever they needed advice, a ride somewhere, or even just someone to vent to, I was the first person they called. But when I needed support? Silence.

Friendship should never be one-sided. If someone only shows up when it benefits them, they’re not really a friend—they’re just using you. And the longer you tolerate it, the more they’ll take you for granted.

I had to learn the hard way that real friends don’t just take; they give too. If you find yourself always being the one to put in effort while getting little in return, it might be time to stop answering that text.

3) People who constantly criticize you

There’s a big difference between constructive feedback and constant criticism. One helps you grow, while the other slowly destroys your confidence. And if you’re surrounded by people who only point out your flaws, it’s only a matter of time before you start believing them.

Negative comments stick with us far longer than positive ones. In fact, our brains are wired to focus more on criticism—it’s called the negativity bias. That’s why a single harsh remark can outweigh multiple compliments.

If someone in your life is always tearing you down instead of lifting you up, it’s not something to brush off. The more you tolerate their words, the more they shape how you see yourself. And self-respect means refusing to let anyone make you feel unworthy.

4) People who never apologize

We all make mistakes—it’s part of being human. But what really matters is how we handle them. If someone hurts you and refuses to acknowledge it, that’s a huge red flag.

A person who never apologizes is someone who values their pride more than your feelings. Instead of taking responsibility, they shift blame, make excuses, or act like nothing happened. Over time, this kind of behavior can make you question whether you’re overreacting when, in reality, you’re just asking for basic respect.

Self-respect means recognizing that you deserve accountability from the people in your life. If someone can’t own up to their mistakes, they’re showing you exactly how much (or how little) they respect you—believe them.

5) People who make you feel like you’re hard to love

No one should have to beg for love, respect, or basic kindness. If someone constantly makes you feel like you’re too much, too difficult, or not enough, that’s not love—it’s control.

The right people will never make you feel like you have to earn their care and attention. They won’t withhold affection to manipulate you or make you question your worth. Love—real love—should feel safe, not like a constant battle to prove yourself.

You are not hard to love. The wrong people just want you to believe that so you’ll accept less than you deserve. But self-respect means knowing that the right people will love you for exactly who you are, without conditions or games.

6) People who ignore your boundaries

It starts small. Someone pushes a little past your comfort zone, and you let it slide because you don’t want to seem difficult. Then it happens again. And again. Until one day, you realize your feelings and limits have been ignored so many times that you don’t even bother speaking up anymore.

People who truly respect you won’t make you feel guilty for having boundaries. They won’t act offended when you say no, and they won’t try to convince you that your limits are unreasonable. But the ones who don’t respect you? They’ll test your boundaries just to see how much they can get away with.

The more you allow it, the harder it becomes to stand up for yourself. But self-respect means recognizing that your boundaries matter—not just to others, but to yourself. If someone keeps crossing the line, it’s up to you to stop giving them access to it.

7) People who make everything about themselves

Have you ever had a conversation with someone who somehow turns everything back to themselves? You open up about something important, and within seconds, they’ve shifted the focus to their own experiences, problems, or achievements.

Relationships—whether friendships, family, or romantic—should be a two-way street. If someone never listens, never asks how you’re doing, and only seems interested when the topic is about them, they don’t actually value you. They just value the attention you give them.

Self-respect means recognizing when you’re being treated as an audience instead of as a person. If someone consistently makes everything about themselves, maybe it’s time to walk away and find people who actually see you too.

8) People who make you doubt your worth

The people you surround yourself with have a powerful influence on how you see yourself. If someone constantly belittles you, dismisses your feelings, or makes you feel like you’re not good enough, that’s not just their opinion—it’s their attempt to control how you see your own value.

You don’t have to accept it. You don’t have to prove your worth to anyone. The right people will remind you of your strength, not make you question it. And the moment you stop tolerating those who tear you down, you make space for those who will lift you up.