Let’s be real, we’ve all been there – sticking around in a relationship even when certain behaviors from our partner are less than respectful. It’s a tough pill to swallow, but tolerating these actions may suggest a lack of self-respect.

Now, don’t get me wrong. Nobody is perfect and every relationship has its ups and downs. But, there’s a fine line between acceptance and toleration.

I’m not here to judge but to shed some light on the behaviors that shouldn’t be shrugged off in a relationship. It’s time for some hard truth – if you’re tolerating these 7 behaviors from your partner, you may be lacking self-respect.

1) Dismissing your feelings

It’s a universal experience – having our emotions brushed aside by someone we care about. And we all know it’s not a pleasant feeling. 

For example, you might complain about your solo business going wrong, but your partner tells you at least you don’t have to work for a boss. Or you could be upset about a comment someone made online, and your partner just brushes it off saying it’s no big deal. 

This dismissal isn’t always intentional. Sometimes, our partners may simply lack the experience – or emotional intelligence – to understand and empathize with our feelings.

But regardless of their intention, it’s important to recognize that your emotions are valid.

Your feelings are your own, and no one else has the right to dismiss them. In a healthy relationship, both partners are entitled to their emotions and should feel comfortable expressing them without fear of dismissal or ridicule.

2) Them always being right

Most of us admire a confident partner, someone who knows their mind and isn’t afraid to express their opinions. But there’s a fine line between confidence and arrogance.

If your partner always has to be right, refuses to admit when they’re wrong, or dismisses your opinions without giving them due consideration, it’s a clear red flag.

In a healthy relationship, there should always be room for disagreement and discussion. Having differing opinions is part of what makes us unique individuals. It’s not about who wins the argument, but about understanding and respecting each other’s viewpoints.

Think back to your disagreements with your partner: are you always the one backing down just to keep the peace? If so, it might be time to reconsider this strategy. Asserting your opinions and standing your ground is not just about proving a point—it’s about valuing yourself and your perspectives.

3) Taking the blame for everything

Uh-oh, this is a tricky one. It’s easy to start believing that we’re the problem when we’re constantly blamed for everything that goes wrong in the relationship. But let me tell you, it’s not only unfair, it’s also unhealthy.

In my research for my book, Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship, I discovered that this behavior is a classic sign of a codependent relationship.

It’s when you’d do anything just to keep the person happy and the relationship conflict-free, to the point where you take anything they tell you as truth and accept blame for things you didn’t necessarily even do. Slowly, the boundaries between you two begin to blur, until you’re not even sure who you are or what your beliefs are without them. 

If you can resonate with this, you need to stop and take a hard look at your relationship. Not to point fingers or assign blame in return – but with the understanding that a relationship involves two people, and both parties have their share in maintaining its health.

4) Your dreams and goals are belittled

Each of us has dreams and aspirations that we hold dear. They define us, drive us, and give us a sense of purpose. But what happens when your partner belittles these dreams?

When they say things like “That will never work out, you should be realistic” or point out how many thousands of others are trying to do the same thing?

They may be doing this with good intentions – trying to protect you from failure, or they’re worried about having a stable future together. 

But the way to do that would be through a calm and respectful discussion about their concerns, not ridiculing or discouraging your ambitions. There are countless examples of successful people who had goals that seemed unlikely or off the beaten path – imagine if they had given up because their partner didn’t believe in them. 

A supportive partner should encourage you to reach for the stars, not clip your wings.

I am reminded of a quote by Eleanor Roosevelt: “The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.” Your dreams are beautiful, and they deserve to be nurtured, not mocked.

5) They don’t respect your personal space

In a relationship, there’s the expectation that the two of you will spend time together. Some couples just come together at home while running the household and cooking, and others like to stick together through their errands and hobbies as well.

At the same time, no matter where you fall into in this spectrum, there is always the need for me-time – a space to unwind and reconnect with yourself. 

Some of my clients, though, have partners who don’t hold space for this alone time. They constantly invade their significant other’s personal space, be it physical or emotional. And as my clients tell me, it can feel truly suffocating. 

Back when I started dating, I remember struggling with the same issue. It took me some time to realize that preserving personal space isn’t about distancing oneself from the partner; it’s about maintaining individuality in a relationship.

At the end of the day, this will only do the relationship good – when you both give yourselves time to recharge, you can come back together with fresh ideas to say to each other, and renewed energy to give and receive. 

6) They make all the decisions

When two people are equals in a relationship, they should be making decisions together. From deciding what to have for dinner to major life choices – both partners should have an equal say.

That’s what should happen, anyways… but what if your partner is calling all the shots?

It’s always them choosing what restaurant or movie to go for, what destination to book for vacation, and perhaps even bigger things like where to live.

I had an ex who would often do this, and at first I admired his decisiveness and leadership. But there was always that little voice in my head… “but what about what I want?”

The truth is, my ex didn’t think to include me in the decision-making because it didn’t truly matter to him. And I went with it just to keep the peace. But I would never do that again – because in its essence it’s deeply disrespectful. It’s like saying his opinion is the only one that counts, and you’re subservient to it. 

So take it from me, friends – your opinions matter. Stand up and make them heard, because you’re an equal part of the relationship. 

7) They’re emotionally abusive

This is a tough one to talk about, but it’s crucial. Emotional abuse is often less visible than physical abuse, but it’s just as damaging, if not more so.

If your partner constantly belittles you, undermines your self-esteem, or manipulates you emotionally, it’s abuse. Plain and simple. There’s no sugarcoating this one.

Emotional abuse leaves scars that may not be visible to the eye but can cause deep emotional wounds. It’s a gross violation of respect and is not to be tolerated under any circumstances.

If you’re enduring this kind of behavior from your partner, it’s definitely a sign of lacking self-respect. But more than that, it’s a call to action. Seek help. Reach out to friends, family, or professionals. You don’t have to endure this alone.

Remember, you are worthy of love and respect. Don’t let anyone convince you otherwise.

Final Thoughts

As we navigate through the complexities of relationships, it’s essential to remember that self-respect is the cornerstone of a healthy partnership. It’s about understanding our worth and not allowing anyone, not even our partners, to cross those boundaries.

It’s raw, it’s honest and sometimes it’s uncomfortable to acknowledge, but it’s necessary. The journey towards self-love and respect is not always easy, but it’s definitely worth it.

On this note, I’d like to share a video that resonates deeply with what we’ve been discussing in this article. Justin Brown reflects on the illusion of the perfect partner and challenges the common belief that using the law of attraction will lead you to your soulmate. His insights echo the need for commitment, embracing challenges, and growth within relationships.

As you watch this video, remember that you are deserving of a relationship that respects and values you just as you are. And above all else, never forget to respect yourself.