If you think you’re just determined, check these 8 signs of hidden stubbornness
Let’s talk about determination and stubbornness. They might seem like two sides of the same coin, but there’s a fine line that separates them.
Determination is about focusing on your goals with positivity, flexibility and learning from failures. Stubbornness, however, is a refusal to budge from your viewpoint, even when it’s clearly not working out.
Often, we think we’re just being determined when, in reality, we’re being stubborn without even realizing it.
Here are eight signs to check if your determination is actually hidden stubbornness. This might be an eye-opener for some of us, but don’t worry – this is all about self-improvement and understanding ourselves better. Let’s dive in!
1) You’re not open to other perspectives
Let’s face it, we all love being right. But there’s a difference between sticking to your guns and completely dismissing other people’s viewpoints.
If you find yourself constantly shutting down others’ ideas without giving them any consideration, it might be a sign of hidden stubbornness. Determination means you’re persistent in your goals, but it doesn’t mean you should close off all other options.
A true sign of determination is being able to listen to different perspectives, weigh them against your own, and then make an informed decision. It’s about staying open-minded and adaptable.
If you find yourself constantly resisting other viewpoints, it might be time to ask yourself – is this determination or is it stubbornness? Remember, there’s strength in flexibility and learning from others.
2) You never change your mind
There was a time when I was working on a project and I was absolutely convinced that my approach was the best. I had invested a lot of time and effort into it and I just knew it would work.
When my colleagues suggested different strategies, I immediately dismissed them, convinced they wouldn’t be as successful. I was determined to see my idea through.
But over time, things didn’t pan out the way I had hoped. Despite the setbacks, I kept pushing for my original plan, believing that if I just worked harder, it would work out in the end.
It took a serious reality check for me to realize that my determination had crossed into stubbornness. I was so attached to my idea that I refused to consider alternatives, even when it was clear that my approach wasn’t working.
Looking back, it’s clear to me now that stubbornness isn’t about sticking with your ideas no matter what. It’s about refusing to change your mind even when evidence suggests you should. So if you find yourself rarely changing your mind, you might want to check if it’s determination or stubbornness at play.
3) You’re always the last to give in
In a study conducted at the University of California, researchers found that people who are more stubborn are less likely to give in during negotiations. They tend to hold out longer, hoping to get more of what they want.
This could be taken as a sign of determination, as these individuals are willing to fight for what they want. But there’s a flip side to it. If you’re always the last one to give in, even when it makes sense to compromise, it could indicate hidden stubbornness.
Negotiations, whether in business or personal relationships, require a level of flexibility and willingness to meet halfway. If you find yourself frequently digging your heels in and refusing to budge, you might be crossing the line from determination into stubbornness. It’s worth considering whether being the last to give in is really about winning, or if it’s about a reluctance to adapt and change your stance.
4) You have a hard time letting go
Are you the type who holds on to things, ideas, or plans even when they’re not serving you well? This might be a sign of hidden stubbornness.
Determination involves setting goals and working hard to achieve them. But it also involves knowing when to let go. If a plan isn’t working or an idea doesn’t pan out as expected, it’s important to reassess and adjust accordingly.
But if you find yourself clinging to your original plan or idea despite clear signs that it’s not working, it could indicate that you’re not just determined – you might be stubborn. Letting go doesn’t mean giving up. It means recognizing that there might be a better way and being willing to explore those alternatives.
5) You often feel defensive
Notice how you react when your ideas or decisions are challenged. Do you immediately jump to defend them, even before fully listening to the other person’s perspective?
Feeling defensive is a natural reaction, especially when we’re passionate about something. But there’s a difference between defending your ideas and refusing to consider any criticism or feedback.
If you often find yourself feeling defensive, it could be a sign of hidden stubbornness. Determined people are able to accept constructive criticism, understanding that it can help them grow and improve. Stubborn individuals, on the other hand, might see criticism as a threat and react defensively to protect their stance.
Remember, everyone has room for improvement and growth. Being open to feedback is a sign of strength, not weakness.
6) You struggle with empathy
Empathy is about understanding and sharing the feelings of others. It’s about putting yourself in their shoes and seeing things from their perspective.
But if you’re stubborn, this can be a real struggle. You might be so focused on your own viewpoint that you find it hard to empathize with others. You might even dismiss their feelings or opinions because they don’t align with your own.
Being determined doesn’t mean disregarding the emotions of others. In fact, understanding and acknowledging other people’s feelings can often lead to better solutions and stronger relationships.
So if you find it tough to empathize with others, especially when it comes to differing opinions or viewpoints, it might signal a hint of stubbornness. A little empathy can go a long way in bridging gaps and fostering understanding. It’s all about finding common ground and valuing the input of others, even when it doesn’t match your own.
7) You’re often told you’re hard to work with
During a performance review early in my career, I was taken aback by a piece of feedback from my boss. He said that I was hard to work with because I always insisted on doing things my way and didn’t take others’ suggestions into consideration.
I had always considered myself determined, and this feedback was a blow to my self-image. It made me re-evaluate my approach to teamwork and collaboration.
Over time, I realized that my boss was right. My refusal to consider other ideas wasn’t determination – it was stubbornness. This realization was a turning point for me, and I began to consciously work on being more receptive to others’ ideas and suggestions.
If you’ve been told that you’re hard to work with because you’re not open to different viewpoints, it might be worth considering if you’re being stubborn rather than determined. Remember, collaboration is key in any team environment, and being open to diverse ideas leads to better outcomes.
8) You feel you always have to prove yourself right
Do you often find yourself in debates, trying to prove your point, even when it’s not necessary? This constant need to be right could be a sign of hidden stubbornness.
While it’s natural to want to defend our beliefs and opinions, this becomes problematic when it turns into an obsession with being right. It’s important to realize that it’s okay to be wrong sometimes. In fact, admitting when you’re wrong shows maturity and a willingness to learn.
Determination involves standing up for what you believe in, but it also entails acknowledging when you’re wrong. If you’re always trying to prove yourself right, you might be crossing the line into stubbornness.
Being able to admit mistakes and learn from them is a strength. It not only helps us grow as individuals but also improves our relationships with others.
9) You’re resistant to change
Change is a natural part of life. It’s how we grow, learn, and adapt. But if you find yourself resisting change, it could be a sign of hidden stubbornness.
Determination means being persistent in your efforts to reach a goal, but it doesn’t mean resisting change. In fact, being able to adapt to change is a key aspect of determination.
If you’re stubborn, however, change can be seen as a threat. You might resist it because it’s uncomfortable or because it challenges your beliefs or plans.
It’s important to understand that resisting change can hold you back from growth and progress. Embracing change, on the other hand, can open up new opportunities and lead to better outcomes.
So if you find yourself constantly resisting change, it’s worth asking yourself – is this determination or is it stubbornness? And remember – being adaptable is a strength, not a weakness.
Final thought: It’s about balance
Human behavior is a complex interplay of numerous factors, often influenced by our intrinsic characteristics and external experiences.
In the context of determination and stubbornness, it’s crucial to understand that it’s all about balance. Being determined is a commendable trait that can drive us towards our goals. However, when it tips over into stubbornness, it can hinder our growth and relationships.
The key lies in striking a balance between being steadfast in our pursuits, yet flexible in our approach. It involves being open to feedback, ready to adapt, and willing to change when necessary.
Ultimately, recognizing the signs of hidden stubbornness is not about labeling ourselves or others. It’s about self-awareness and personal growth. It’s about learning to navigate the fine line between being determined and being stubborn.
So as you move forward, take a moment to reflect – are you being determined or are you being stubborn? Remember, the strength lies in balancing determination with flexibility.