Let’s be real—online dating can feel like a total minefield.

You swipe, you chat, you try to connect, but sometimes it’s hard to know what’s real and what’s just smoke and mirrors.

Enter “kittenfishing.”

It’s when someone isn’t exactly lying about who they are but is definitely putting on a much shinier, more polished version of themselves—using old photos, conveniently leaving out details, or exaggerating their best qualities.

If you’re out there in the digital dating scene, you’ve probably encountered this.

Maybe it didn’t feel as dramatic as catfishing, where everything’s a lie, but it still stings when someone isn’t upfront about who they really are.

So, let’s talk about it.

In this article, we’re going through 8 signs that someone might be kittenfishing you online.

Knowing these red flags could save you a lot of time and disappointment.

1) Too good to be true

In the online dating world, first impressions are often based on profile pictures and bios.

Sometimes, you come across a profile that seems too perfect.

The photos might look like they were professionally taken or the person’s interests seem to match yours exactly.

This could be a sign that you’re being kittenfished.

Kittenfishers often present an idealized version of themselves, using attractive or even Photoshopped pictures and embellishing their interests and accomplishments.

While it’s normal for people to put their best foot forward on dating profiles, be wary if everything seems just a bit too perfect.

Always remember the old saying: if it seems too good to be true, it probably is.

2) Inconsistent stories

Now, let’s talk about those who have a knack for spinning tales.

I remember once, I was talking to this person online who had a fascinating life story.

They had traveled the world, owned a successful business, and even claimed to have dined with celebrities.

However, as our conversations continued, I noticed inconsistencies.

One day they’d mention an allergy to seafood and then later talk about their love for sushi.

Or they’d say they lived in New York but couldn’t name any local landmarks when asked.

These inconsistencies were red flags that I was possibly being kittenfished.

While it’s possible for someone to simply forget details or get confused, frequent inconsistencies can be a sign that they are embellishing or fabricating aspects of their life.

Always pay attention to the details and if something doesn’t add up, it might be time to question their authenticity.

3) They’re always unavailable for video calls

In this era of technology, it’s easier than ever to connect with people from anywhere in the world.

Video calls have become a regular part of our communication, especially in online dating.

However, if the person you’re chatting with is consistently avoiding video calls or face-to-face meetings, it could be a red flag.

They might have legitimate reasons like a busy schedule or poor internet connection, but if it becomes a pattern, you might be dealing with a kittenfisher.

Did you know that according to a study by the Pew Research Center, about half of U.S. online daters say they’ve experienced a situation where an online date has significantly misrepresented themselves in their profile?

This often includes using outdated or heavily edited photos, which is why they might avoid video calls or meetings.

Don’t let your guard down and keep an eye out for this red flag as it can be a significant indicator of kittenfishing.

4) They’re vague about their life

Openness and honesty go hand in hand when building a relationship, even in the early stages of online dating.

If every question about their job ends in “it’s complicated” or discussions about their past are always redirected, you might be dealing with a kittenfisher.

Kittenfishers avoid specifics because they don’t want to be caught in a lie.

They maintain their perfect persona by staying vague and leaving a lot up to your imagination.

5) They avoid discussing feelings

Connecting on an emotional level is crucial in any relationship.

It’s about being vulnerable, open, and honest with each other.

If they’re always changing the subject when things get personal or emotional, it could be because they’re hiding their true self.

Kittenfishers often focus on creating an ideal persona rather than forming real emotional connections.

They might keep the conversation light and superficial to avoid revealing too much about their true self.

In a genuine relationship, both parties should feel comfortable discussing their feelings and emotions. 

6) They take forever to respond

We’ve all been there – eagerly awaiting a response from someone we’re interested in, only to be left waiting for what feels like an eternity.

I remember once, I was talking to someone online who would take days, sometimes even a week, to respond to my messages.

While I initially chalked it up to them being busy, it soon became apparent that their poor communication was a consistent pattern.

A Pew Research Center study highlighted that many online daters express frustration when responses are inconsistent, with 42% describing their experience as negative when they encounter such behavior frequently.

It often signals a lack of commitment or authenticity, which can be an early indicator of kittenfishing—when someone misrepresents themselves to appear more desirable​

7) They won’t meet in person

Online dating is a great way to meet people, but eventually, the relationship needs to move offline.

If the person you’re talking to consistently avoids meeting in person, it could be a sign of kittenfishing.

They might always have an excuse ready, or they might agree to meet and then cancel at the last minute.

Kittenfishers often avoid in-person meetings because they know that their true self doesn’t match up with the persona they’ve created online.

While it’s important to respect people’s comfort levels and personal boundaries, consistently avoiding an in-person meeting is a red flag.

In a genuine, healthy relationship, both parties should be excited about the prospect of meeting in person.

Trust your instincts

The online dating landscape is a complex world of connections, disconnections, truths, and deceptions.

Navigating through it requires a keen eye, an open mind, and an instinctual gut.

Recognizing the signs of kittenfishing is not just about spotting red flags, but also about understanding human behavior and trusting your own feelings.

According to a report by the Federal Trade Commission, consumers reported losing $201 million to romance scams in 2019 – up nearly 40% since 2018.

This alarming statistic underscores the importance of staying vigilant when exploring the online dating world.

Knowing how to spot a potential kittenfisher can protect you from unnecessary heartache and disappointment.

It’s a skill that’s as crucial as being able to create a compelling dating profile or craft a witty opening message.

Every interaction is an opportunity for learning and growth.

If you suspect you’re being kittenfished, take it as a chance to sharpen your instincts and strengthen your discernment.

After all, the heart of the matter in online dating, as in life, is authenticity.

Trust in that authenticity and trust in yourself.