Everyone yearns for connection, but sometimes, forming new bonds feels more like climbing a steep mountain than taking a leisurely walk in the park.

You might look at your social life and wonder why you find it so challenging to make new friends, or question if your approach is somehow flawed.

What if the barrier to forming new friendships isn’t about who you are but what you do?

After a great deal of introspection and observing the dynamics of various social interactions, I’ve compiled a list of certain behaviors that could be standing in your way. 

If these ring true for you, it might be time to bid them farewell and welcome new friendships into your life.

1) Assuming others aren’t interested

One of the biggest roadblocks to making new friends is a simple assumption: believing that others aren’t interested in knowing you. 

This belief can stem from previous rejections or simply a lack of self-confidence.

You might find yourself hesitating to approach someone, convinced that they wouldn’t want to talk to you.

Or maybe you refrain from sharing your thoughts and experiences, thinking they wouldn’t care or resonate.

Yet, how can you truly know what others think or feel without giving them a chance?

This false assumption could be preventing you from forming meaningful relationships. 

By recognizing this behavior and actively challenging it, you open up the potential for new connections. 

This doesn’t mean everyone will want to be your friend, but it does mean you’re giving yourself, and others, a fair shot at friendship.

2) Being overly agreeable

At first glance, it might seem like always agreeing with others would make you more likable. 

You might think that if you share the same opinions and interests, people are more likely to want to be friends with you. However, this isn’t necessarily the case.

In attempting to be agreeable all the time, you may come across as inauthentic or lacking depth. 

People generally appreciate authenticity and diversity in thoughts and opinions, even if they differ from their own.

Additionally, by constantly agreeing with others, you may inadvertently deny them the opportunity to learn something new or see a situation from a different perspective.

While it’s important to be respectful and considerate of others’ feelings, it’s equally crucial to express your true thoughts and opinions. 

Being genuine might not earn you the friendship of everyone, but it will attract the right people who value your authenticity.

3) Keeping conversations surface-level

Sticking to safe, non-invasive topics during conversations seems like a logical route to maintain a comfortable atmosphere. 

It feels easier to chat about the weather, latest movies, or trending topics than to delve into deeper, more personal discussions.

However, while these surface-level discussions are great icebreakers, they rarely lead to deeper connections. 

People bond over shared experiences and emotions, which often require more personal and meaningful conversations.

Of course, it’s essential to respect boundaries and not force someone into a conversation they’re uncomfortable with. 

But by taking the initiative to open up more about your thoughts and experiences, you invite others to do the same.

Remember, friendship isn’t built on small talk alone. It’s the deeper, meaningful conversations that truly forge lasting connections.

4) Overlooking the power of listening

It’s a universal truth that everyone wants to feel heard and understood. 

Yet, in our eagerness to make an impression or express ourselves, we often forget the power of simply being a good listener.

In conversations, we can sometimes focus more on what we’re going to say next rather than truly paying attention to what the other person is saying. 

This can lead to missed opportunities for deeper connections and understanding.

Listening isn’t just about staying silent while the other person talks. It’s about actively showing interest, asking follow-up questions. And responding in a way that shows you’ve genuinely heard and understood them.

By becoming a better listener, you not only make others feel valued and understood but also lay the foundation for strong, lasting relationships.

5) Hiding your vulnerabilities

There’s a pervasive belief that to be liked and accepted, we must present an image of perfection. 

We try to hide our quirks, mute our anxieties, and bury our past failures deep where no one can see them. We put on a brave face, fearing that showing our vulnerabilities will drive others away.

But in doing so, we deny others the chance to know the real us, warts and all. We prevent genuine connections that are formed when we share not just our triumphs but also our struggles.

It’s in our vulnerabilities that we find our shared humanity. It’s when we reveal our flaws and fears that we allow others to do the same. 

This mutual sharing of vulnerabilities creates a bond that’s far stronger than any superficial connection.

Remember, it’s okay not to have it all figured out. It’s okay to be a work in progress.

In fact, it’s this raw authenticity that often forms the cornerstone of deep, lasting friendships.

6) Avoiding conflict at all costs

It’s natural to want to avoid conflict, especially when you’re trying  new friends.

Disagreements can be uncomfortable, and there’s a fear that expressing a different opinion may lead to tension or even end the budding friendship.

However, avoiding conflict entirely can actually hinder the growth of a relationship.

Disagreements and conflicts, when handled respectfully, can help both parties understand each other’s perspectives better. They provide an opportunity for growth and can ultimately strengthen the bond between friends.

Of course, this doesn’t mean picking fights or being disagreeable for the sake of it.

Instead, it’s about voicing your thoughts and standing your ground when needed, all while being respectful of the other person’s viewpoint.

Remember, true friendships aren’t fragile. They can withstand disagreements and come out stronger on the other side. 

So don’t shy away from healthy conflict; it might just be the catalyst your friendship needs to deepen.

7) Waiting for others to make the first move

Whether it’s initiating a conversation, suggesting a meet-up, or extending a helping hand, we often wait for the other person to take the first step. 

This could be due to fear of rejection, not wanting to come off as desperate, or simply feeling unsure.

However, waiting for others to take the initiative can leave you feeling stuck and disconnected. 

It also places an unfair expectation on the other person and can slow down the pace of a potentially blossoming friendship.

Taking the initiative shows that you’re genuinely interested in forming a connection.  It demonstrates your willingness to invest in the relationship, which often encourages the other person to do the same.

So, the next time you’re hesitant about making the first move, remember that taking initiative could be the key to unlocking new friendships. 

Understanding the nature of friendship

Having navigated through the behaviors that could be hindering your ability to make new friends, it’s important to take a step back and ponder on the essence of friendship itself. 

What does it truly mean to have a friend, and to be one?

Friendship is more than just a social connection or a mutual liking. It’s a bond that goes beyond the surface, a connection that’s founded on mutual respect, understanding, and shared experiences. 

It’s about knowing that there’s someone in your corner, someone who will stand by you through the highs and lows of life.

True friends are those who know all about you, yet choose to love you just the same. 

They are the ones who see your quirks not as oddities, but as parts that make up the unique individual that you are.

They are willing to dive into deep conversations, to disagree yet respect your viewpoints and to stand by you when the going gets tough.

But being a good friend isn’t just about finding people who can do these for you. It involves being this person for others as well. 

It means being there for them, lending an ear when they need someone to listen, offering a shoulder when they need someone to lean on. It’s accepting them for who they are and respecting their thoughts and opinions.

It’s also important to remember that friendships don’t develop overnight. 

Like a seed that needs time, care, and the right conditions to grow into a blooming plant, friendships need time, effort, and patience.

They require an investment of emotions and energy from both sides.

So if you’re feeling disheartened because friendships aren’t forming as quickly or easily as you’d hoped, remember to give it time. 

Allow these relationships to grow organically at their own pace. And while you’re at it, remember that it’s okay to be yourself. 

Because in the end, the friendships that last are the ones where you’re loved for being you, imperfections and all.