There’s a fine line between confidence and arrogance.

Confidence commands respect, while arrogance tends to inspire fear or resentment. As someone who values respect over fear, you’d want to be seen as the former.

But sometimes, without realizing it, our actions and words can come across as arrogant rather than self-assured.

And let me tell you, self-awareness is the first step towards change. Once we identify these arrogant approaches, we can work on transforming them into more respectful ones.

So here are 9 approaches you might need to change if you want people to respect you, not fear you.

1) “I know best”

One of the most common arrogant approaches to avoid is the “I know best” attitude.

It’s a natural instinct to believe in our own abilities and ideas. After all, self-belief is a key ingredient to success. But there’s a difference between confidence and arrogance.

The “I know best” attitude can often come across as dismissive of others’ opinions and ideas. It can make people feel unheard and unvalued, which doesn’t exactly inspire respect.

Remember, no one has all the answers. Even if you’re an expert in your field, there’s always something new to learn, and often, that knowledge comes from others.

So instead of always insisting that you know best, try opening up to other people’s perspectives. Ask for their opinions, listen to their ideas, and show them that you value their input.

In doing so, you will not only gain their respect but also potentially broaden your own understanding and perspectives.

2) Ignoring feedback

I’ve often noticed that people who tend to be seen as arrogant are those who dismiss or ignore feedback. And I must admit, I was once guilty of this too.

Early in my career, I was so fixated on proving my worth that I saw any criticism as a personal attack. I’d nod along but in my mind, I was dismissing what they were saying. “They just don’t get it,” I used to think.

But then, one day, a colleague I greatly respected pulled me aside. He pointed out that this habit of mine was coming across as arrogance. He said it seemed like I thought I had nothing to learn.

That hit home. And it made me realize the value of feedback. Today, I make an effort to truly listen when someone offers me feedback. And guess what? Not only has it helped me grow professionally and personally, but it’s also earned me the respect of those around me.

Ignoring feedback can be a sign of arrogance. Accepting and learning from it shows humility and respect for others’ perspectives – qualities people tend to admire and respect.

3) Constantly interrupting others

Did you know that on average, we interrupt someone every 17 seconds during a conversation? This is often not because we want to be rude or dismissive, but because our brains are constantly formulating responses and ideas as we listen.

However, constant interruption can come off as an arrogant approach. It gives the impression that you believe your thoughts and ideas are more important than the person’s who’s speaking.

So, try to consciously resist the urge to chime in before the other person has finished their point. Not only will this show respect for their thoughts, but it might also give you a chance to hear and consider something new. It’s a simple change, but it can make a big difference in how people perceive and respect you.

4) Dominating conversations

We all love a good conversation, right? But it’s important to remember that a conversation is a two-way street.

Dominating a conversation, always steering it back to yourself, or consistently trying to top others’ stories can come across as arrogant. It can seem as though you’re more interested in voicing your own experiences and ideas than hearing from others.

Try to be mindful of the balance in your conversations. Show genuine interest in what others have to say. Ask questions, listen actively, and share your own stories without overshadowing theirs.

By doing this, you’ll build deeper connections, and people will respect you not just for your experiences and insights but also for your ability to listen and value theirs.

5) Disregarding others’ feelings

In our pursuit of success, we sometimes focus so much on our own goals and needs that we overlook the feelings of others. This can come across as arrogance and can create a barrier between us and the respect we seek.

Take a moment to consider how your actions and words might affect those around you. Empathy is a powerful tool for building respect.

By showing that you understand and care about others’ feelings, you demonstrate respect for them. And in turn, they are more likely to respect you. It’s a small change in approach that can have a big impact on how others perceive you.

6) Not acknowledging others’ contributions

Every one of us owes a part of our success to someone else. Whether it’s a mentor who guided us, a colleague who helped us, or a loved one who supported us.

Yet, in the hustle and bustle of life, we sometimes forget to acknowledge these contributions. This can come across as arrogance, as if we achieved everything on our own.

But let’s take a moment to remember those who’ve helped us along the way. By openly acknowledging their contributions, we not only show our gratitude but also demonstrate humility and respect.

This heartfelt acknowledgment can go a long way in earning us the respect of those around us. After all, nobody makes it alone. And recognizing this fact is a sign of strength, not weakness.

7) Unwillingness to admit mistakes

Once, I made a costly error on a project at work. Instead of owning up to it, I tried to cover it up, hoping no one would notice. But of course, they did. And the respect I lost from my team was far more damaging than the mistake itself.

The truth is, we’re all human and we all make mistakes. Pretending otherwise can make us seem arrogant. Admitting when we’re wrong, on the other hand, shows humility and earns respect.

It takes courage to admit our mistakes, but doing so allows us to learn and grow. Plus, it shows others that it’s ok to be human. So next time you goof up, own it. You might be surprised at the respect you gain in return.

8) Lack of appreciation

A simple “thank you” can go a long way. But in our busy lives, we often forget to express our appreciation for the people around us. This lack of appreciation can come across as arrogance or indifference.

Whether it’s your colleague who helped you with a project, your friend who listened when you needed to vent, or your partner who stood by you through thick and thin, take a moment to thank them.

Expressing your appreciation shows that you value their efforts and contributions. It fosters positive relationships and earns you the respect of those around you.

So, don’t let the opportunity pass. Say “thank you” more often. It’s a small gesture with a big impact.

9) Failing to respect others

At the heart of it all, if you want to be respected, you must first show respect to others. This goes beyond simply being polite. It means valuing others’ time, listening to their opinions, acknowledging their feelings, and appreciating their contributions.

After all, respect is a two-way street. You can’t expect to be respected if you’re not willing to give respect in return. So treat others the way you wish to be treated. It’s the golden rule for a reason and it’s the most important thing you should remember in your quest for respect.

Final reflection: The power of humility

At the heart of each of these approaches lies a common factor – humility.

Humility is not about being weak or submissive; it’s about acknowledging that we are all part of a larger community, that our ideas and actions impact those around us, and that we all have something valuable to contribute.

The renowned philosopher Confucius once said, “Humility is the solid foundation of all virtues.” It’s a trait that helps us grow, learn, and connect with others on a deeper level.

When we replace arrogance with humility, we invite respect rather than fear. We build relationships based on mutual understanding and appreciation, not dominance or superiority.

So as we navigate through our interactions with others, let’s strive to do so with humility. Let’s listen more than we talk, learn more than we teach, and value others as much as we value ourselves.

In doing so, we might find that the respect we earn far outweighs the fleeting power that comes from instilling fear. And that’s a change worth striving for.