If you see these 8 red flags, you’re probably not with the right person

Isabella Chase by Isabella Chase | November 16, 2024, 8:01 pm

There’s a fine line between love and the wrong relationship.

That line can often be blurred by strong feelings or simply not knowing what to look out for. Trust me, it’s easy to miss the signs that you’re with the wrong person.

Being in a bad relationship is like being trapped in a puzzle; you’re trying to fit pieces where they don’t belong. But identifying key red flags can help you solve that puzzle faster.

In this article, we’ll explore eight red flags that suggest you might not be with the right person. Recognizing these signs could save you from a lot of heartache, so let’s dive in.

1) Constant criticism

Everyone has their quirks and flaws. It’s one of the things that makes us uniquely human.

But when your partner is constantly criticizing you for your quirks, it’s a huge red flag. We’re not talking about constructive feedback here, but rather, harsh comments aimed at belittling you.

It’s normal to want to improve and grow in a relationship, but constant criticism can grind down your self-esteem. It’s like being in a boxing match where you’re always on the receiving end.

Remember, you deserve someone who appreciates you for who you are, quirks and all. If the criticism is ongoing and hurtful, it might be time to reconsider the relationship.

Remember, this isn’t about expecting perfection, but rather about respect and kindness. And there’s a big difference between the two.

2) They don’t respect your boundaries

Respecting boundaries is a fundamental part of any healthy relationship. It’s a way of saying, “I understand and respect what’s important to you.”

I remember being in a relationship where my partner would constantly invade my personal space. Even after expressing my discomfort, the behavior persisted. It felt like my feelings and comfort were disregarded.

It didn’t stop at physical boundaries either. My personal time, opinions and even emotions were often pushed aside to accommodate theirs. It was suffocating, to say the least.

In retrospect, that was a clear red flag waving in my face. Disrespect for your personal boundaries isn’t just about them not understanding you; it’s about them not respecting you.

If you’re experiencing something similar, take a step back and evaluate whether this person really is right for you. After all, you deserve someone who respects your boundaries as much as they do their own.

3) They’re always “too busy”

In an age where our lives are filled with meetings, deadlines, and endless to-do lists, it’s not unusual to be swamped with work. But even the busiest of people make time for what’s important to them.

Imagine this: The average person spends around 2 hours each day on social media. That’s a significant chunk of time that could be dedicated to nurturing a relationship.

If your partner is always too busy to spend time with you, it could indicate that you’re not a priority in their life. This is not to say that they should drop everything for you, but a balanced relationship requires effort from both sides.

So if they can find time to scroll through Instagram but not to call or meet up, it’s a red flag that shouldn’t be ignored. You deserve someone who makes you a priority, not an option.

4) They avoid discussing the future

In a relationship, it’s normal to envision a future together. Whether it’s planning a vacation, discussing career plans, or simply agreeing on where to spend the holidays, these conversations are part and parcel of being in a committed relationship.

But what happens when your partner shies away from these discussions? If they’re uneasy every time you mention the future or make plans together, it’s a red flag.

Avoiding discussions about the future could indicate uncertainty or lack of commitment. It’s like being in a boat with no destination in sight.

Remember, you deserve someone who is excited about building a future with you and not someone who avoids it at all costs. In a healthy relationship, both partners should feel secure discussing their future together.

5) You feel lonely even when you’re together

You know that feeling when you’re in a crowded room, yet feel completely alone? It’s heartbreaking when that room is just the two of you.

A relationship should be a source of comfort and companionship. But if you often find yourself feeling lonely even when you’re together, it’s a red flag.

It’s like being stuck on an island with someone who doesn’t understand or connect with you. You’re together physically, but emotionally, you might as well be miles apart.

Remember, it’s not about how much time you spend together, but about the quality of that time. You deserve someone who makes you feel loved and cherished, not isolated and alone. Don’t settle for less.

6) They keep score

We all make mistakes. It’s part of being human. But in a relationship, these mistakes shouldn’t be used as ammunition for future disputes.

There was a time when every argument I had with my partner turned into a history lesson of my past mistakes. It felt like I was constantly on trial, and the jury was always against me.

Keeping score is not about resolving conflicts; it’s about winning arguments. It creates a battlefield instead of a safe space where both partners can express their feelings without fear of judgement.

If you find your partner constantly bringing up past mistakes to win arguments or make you feel guilty, it’s a red flag. You deserve someone who forgives and forgets, not someone who keeps score.

7) They control your decisions

In a healthy relationship, decisions are made together, with each partner’s input valued and considered. But when one person starts to control the other’s decisions, it becomes a problem.

It might start subtly – with them suggesting what you should wear or eat. But soon, it could escalate to them controlling who you meet, where you go, or even how you spend your time.

This isn’t just about them wanting what’s best for you. It’s about them wanting control over you. It’s like being in a puppet show where you’re the puppet.

Remember, you deserve someone who respects your autonomy and values your opinions. If your partner is trying to control your decisions, it’s a red flag that shouldn’t be ignored.

8) You’re constantly walking on eggshells

A relationship should be a safe haven, not a battlefield. If you find yourself constantly walking on eggshells, afraid to speak your mind or express your feelings for fear of their reaction, it’s a red flag.

Living in constant fear of upsetting your partner is no way to live. It’s like being in a minefield, never knowing when the next explosion will occur.

Remember, you deserve to be in a relationship where you can freely express yourself without fear. Mutual respect and open communication are the cornerstones of any healthy relationship. Don’t settle for anything less.

Final thoughts: It’s about respect and love

At the heart of any successful relationship, there lies a foundation built on mutual respect and love.

Psychologist John Gottman, renowned for his work on relationship stability, suggests that the secret to a happy partnership isn’t about avoiding fights or disagreements. Instead, it’s about treating each other with kindness and respect, even in heated moments.

When it comes to red flags in relationships, they’re often indicators of a lack of respect or love. Whether it’s through constant criticism, controlling behavior, or making you feel less than worthy, these are signs that the relationship may not be right for you.

Always remember, you deserve to be in a relationship where you feel loved, respected, and valued. Don’t settle for anything less. These red flags are not just signs; they’re reminders of your worth and the kind of love you deserve.

Reflect on them, acknowledge them when you see them. After all, recognizing them might just be the first step towards finding a relationship that truly makes you happy.