We’ve all dealt with them. Those people who, no matter what, just can’t seem to tell the truth.

Yes, I’m talking about compulsive liars.

Sometimes it feels like you’re just a pawn in their game of deception, like you’re always two steps behind in their labyrinth of lies.

Sound familiar? You’re not alone.

It’s a universal truth that we all encounter these deceivers more often than we’d like to admit.

But, are you aware of it when it’s happening?

The signs aren’t always clear. You might be dealing with one right now and not even realize it.

Today, we delve into identifying 10 subtle behaviors that indicate you’re dealing with a compulsive liar.

Let’s discover if you recognize these behaviors… and what to do if you do.

1) Frequent inconsistency

Compulsive liars live in a self-created world of deception, and keeping track of what’s real and what’s not can be a challenge.

One of the most common signs of a compulsive liar is inconsistency in their stories. It’s like watching a poorly written drama series – the plot twists are just too many and too frequent to make sense.

If you notice someone frequently changing their stories, contradicting themselves, or giving different accounts of the same event to different people, it’s a red flag.

It’s not just about forgetting minor details, but significant shifts that alter the core narrative.

However, remember that everyone can have lapses in memory or make honest mistakes. The difference is that compulsive liars often do this regularly and without any apparent reason. So, if you notice this pattern consistently, you might be dealing with a compulsive liar.

But as always, tread carefully. It’s not about confrontation but understanding and handling the situation wisely.

2) Elaborate storytelling

Another sign of a compulsive liar is a tendency for elaborate storytelling. Their stories are often grandiose, detailed, and just a bit too perfect to be real.

I remember a friend from college, Jack. Jack was a charmer, always the life of the party, and had an uncanny knack for captivating everyone with his stories. These tales ranged from his incredible adventures overseas to meeting celebrities at exclusive parties – they were always larger than life.

Over time though, I started noticing inconsistencies in his stories, but what really tipped me off was when he told me about his “summer vacation” in Bali.

Coincidentally, I had been in Bali during the same period and strangely never bumped into him. What’s more, some of the landmarks he mentioned visiting didn’t actually exist!

This is when I realized that Jack’s stories were just that – stories. His need to constantly impress through fabrication was a clear indication of compulsive lying.

3) Defensiveness when questioned

Compulsive liars tend to become defensive when their lies are questioned. This is because, for them, their fabrications are a protective shield, a way to control the narrative about their lives.

Liars often exhibit defensive body language when their dishonesty is being challenged. This can include crossing their arms, avoiding eye contact, or becoming unusually fidgety.

So if someone reacts defensively or becomes overly aggressive when you question the validity of their statements, it could be a sign that they’re not being truthful.

However, it’s essential to remember that people might also react defensively when they feel accused or attacked, even if they’re telling the truth. Always approach the situation with empathy and understanding.

4) Too much unnecessary detail

When it comes to spotting a compulsive liar, sometimes it’s not what they’re saying, but how they’re saying it.

A common trait among compulsive liars is overloading their stories with unnecessary detail.

It’s like they’re painting a picture with words, aiming to distract you from the lie by drawing you into the complexity of the story.

They might give you a minute-by-minute rundown of their day or describe people and places with an excessive amount of detail.

Everyone has different ways of communicating and this alone doesn’t definitively prove anything. But if it’s combined with other signs on this list, you might be dealing with a compulsive liar.

5) Seeking constant validation

Constantly seeking validation is another behavior often displayed by compulsive liars. They lie not only to manipulate the truth but also to impress or gain approval from others.

This need for validation can manifest in different ways. They may frequently agree with your opinions, even when it’s clear they don’t share the same views.

Or they might make up stories where they’re the hero, seeking admiration and validation for their fictional achievements.

6) Struggles with self-esteem

At the core of compulsive lying often lurks a deeper struggle – low self-esteem.

People who compulsively lie are often battling an internal storm of self-doubt and insecurities.

They may feel that their reality isn’t good enough, leading them to fabricate stories that make them seem more successful, more interesting, or more appealing.

Every lie is a mask, hiding the part of themselves they fear won’t be accepted.

7) Difficulty in admitting to small mistakes

Admitting to mistakes can be tough for anyone, but for compulsive liars, even acknowledging small errors can be a monumental task.

I’ve seen this firsthand in my own life. Someone close to me had a hard time admitting to even the smallest mistakes.

If they took a wrong turn while driving, they’d weave an elaborate tale about taking a “scenic route” instead of simply admitting they missed the turn.

This unwillingness to accept fault often stems from a fear of judgment or rejection. Even minor errors are seen as threats to the image they’ve carefully crafted.

8) They rarely talk about their feelings

Compulsive liars often avoid talking about their feelings. This might seem counterintuitive, but when you consider that lying is often a defense mechanism, it makes sense.

Discussing feelings requires vulnerability and honesty – two things that can be exceptionally challenging for a compulsive liar.

They might steer conversations away from personal topics or give vague, non-committal answers when asked about their emotions.

Their stories often focus on external events rather than internal experiences.

Opening up can be hard for anyone, but it’s especially tough for those who’ve grown accustomed to hiding behind a facade.

9) They struggle with eye contact

It’s often said that the eyes are the windows to the soul. There’s an intimate connection when we lock eyes with someone, a vulnerability that can be quite revealing.

Compulsive liars tend to struggle with this. They may avoid eye contact or hold it too intensely in an attempt to convince you of their lies. I

t’s a sad reality. Beneath the facade of deceit lies a person grappling with their own inner turmoil, trying to navigate their way through a web of untruths.

10) Their lies serve no obvious purpose

Perhaps the most telling sign of a compulsive liar is when their lies seemingly serve no purpose.

Unlike strategic lying, where there’s a clear goal or motive behind the deceit, compulsive lying is often pointless.

They might lie about things that wouldn’t benefit them in any way or even make up stories that could potentially harm their reputation.

The lies are compulsive, an automatic response rather than a calculated move.

Final thoughts: It’s about understanding, not accusing

When it comes to human behavior, nothing is as black and white as we might like it to be. Especially when we talk about compulsive lying, it’s crucial to remember that this behavior is often a symptom of deeper psychological issues.

Compulsive lying can often be associated with conditions like narcissistic personality disorder, borderline personality disorder, or even impulse control disorders. This isn’t about labeling someone, but understanding that their actions might be the result of internal struggles they can’t control.

Recognizing these behaviors isn’t about playing detective or catching someone in a lie. It’s about understanding the people around us better and navigating our relationships with more empathy and patience.

If you find yourself dealing with a compulsive liar, remember: it’s not about confrontation but compassion. It could be an opportunity for you to help them seek professional help and start on a journey towards healthier communication patterns.

After all, we’re all humans, beautifully complex and perfectly imperfect in our ways. The more we strive to understand one another, the richer our relationships become.