We often portray narcissism as being extreme and diabolical. And while pathological narcissism can certainly cause harm, we all fall somewhere on the narcissistic spectrum. 

There’s a difference between having some narcissistic traits and full-blown Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). 

Often, we’re more narcissistic than we care to believe. 

But the thing is, unless we admit it to ourselves, we can never take the steps necessary to combat the narcissistic qualities within ourselves. 

The question is — how do you know if you have narcissistic traits? 

Let’s take a look at some signs to watch out for.

1) You’re always the hero (or the victim)

Narcissism, at its core, is characterized by an inflated sense of self-importance.

One of the easiest ways to spot this trait in yourself is by examining your personal narratives.

Do you always find yourself playing the hero in your own stories?

Or perhaps, you often play the victim, suffering unfairly while others are to blame?

Being the perpetual hero or victim allows you to maintain a central role in your own world. It’s a way of asserting dominance and importance – classic signs of narcissism.

Everyone can occasionally fall into these roles. It’s when it becomes a pattern that you might want to take a step back and reassess.

2) Empathy isn’t your strong suit

Narcissism has been scientifically linked to low empathy.

In my own journey of self-discovery, I once had to confront a painful truth: I struggled with empathy.

It wasn’t that I didn’t care about others. Rather, it was difficult for me to truly understand and share the feelings of someone else. If a friend came to me upset about a breakup, my first instinct was not to offer comfort, but to provide solutions or even subtly shift the conversation back to myself and my experiences.

This lack of empathy is another sign of narcissism. It’s not about being heartless, but rather being so focused on your own perspective that you struggle to step into someone else’s shoes.

If you find yourself struggling with this as I did, it might be time for some self-reflection.

3) You’re obsessed with status symbols

Narcissists are often consumed by how they are perceived by others. This can manifest in an obsession with status symbols – luxury cars, designer clothes, expensive jewelry, and so on.

One study found that people with narcissistic tendencies were more likely to make luxury purchases as a way to show off their social status.

It’s not just about enjoying the finer things in life, but about presenting a certain image to the world.

So if you find yourself constantly reaching for high-status brands, not for their quality or because you particularly enjoy them, but because of what they represent – you might be showing a sign of narcissism.

4) You have a habit of name-dropping

An interesting behavior often linked with narcissism is the act of name-dropping.

This ties back into the status thing.

Your network is another symbol of your social status.

It’s not uncommon for people to casually mention a connection with someone who is well-known or influential, even if the connection is tenuous at best.

This isn’t just about making casual conversation or sharing an interesting anecdote. Name-dropping is often a strategic way to assert dominance, gain respect, or simply to impress others.

If you often find yourself dropping names in conversations to elevate your own status, it could be a sign that you lean more towards narcissism than the average person.

5) You struggle with criticism

This one hits close to home for many of us.

It’s no secret that narcissists struggle with criticism. 

No one particularly enjoys being criticized. But for a narcissist, criticism is not just uncomfortable – it’s intolerable.

For those with narcissistic tendencies, criticism can feel like a direct attack on their self-worth. It’s not just about disliking negative feedback, but about experiencing deep discomfort or even anger when facing it.

It’s okay to feel upset when criticized. But if you find yourself lashing out, deflecting blame, or shutting down entirely when faced with criticism, it may be a sign of underlying narcissism.

It’s a tough realization, but one that can lead to growth if acknowledged and addressed.

6) You often feel envious of others

I remember scrolling through social media and feeling a pang of envy every time I saw someone else’s success.

It wasn’t that I wasn’t happy for them, but rather that their achievements made me feel inadequate about my own.

Envy is a common trait among narcissists. While it’s normal to feel a bit of envy now and then, narcissists often struggle with frequent feelings of jealousy. They compare themselves to others and feel threatened by their success.

When you find yourself regularly feeling envious of others, it could be a sign of narcissism. It’s not an easy revelation, but it’s an important one to recognize.

7) You have a sense of entitlement

A strong sense of entitlement is another significant indicator of narcissism. Narcissists often believe they deserve special treatment and are quick to become impatient or angry if they don’t receive it.

Whether it’s expecting preferential treatment at a restaurant, feeling upset when others don’t recognize your ‘unique’ abilities, or believing you deserve success without putting in the work, these are all signs of a sense of entitlement.

If you often find yourself expecting more than others, it could be a sign that you’re more narcissistic than the average person. It’s a hard pill to swallow, but acknowledging it is the first step towards change.

8) You struggle with maintaining relationships

At the core of narcissism is a difficulty in maintaining healthy, long-term relationships. Narcissists often struggle with empathy, are prone to using others for their own gain, and may react poorly to criticism – all of which can be damaging to relationships.

If you find that your relationships often end in conflict, or that people frequently accuse you of being self-centered or insensitive, it could be a sign of narcissism.

When you recognize this pattern is crucial, as relationships are the cornerstone of our social lives. And remember, recognizing the problem is the first step toward making positive change.

Understanding your own traits — the good and the bad

Acknowledging narcissistic tendencies in ourselves can be uncomfortable — but it’s important if you want to grow.

While everyone has narcissistic traits to some extent, recognizing when these behaviors become problematic allows us to make meaningful changes.

Self-awareness is key, and addressing these traits with honesty and a willingness to improve can lead to healthier interactions and deeper connections.

Identifying your own narcissism isn’t about self-judgment—it’s about creating opportunities for growth and becoming a more balanced, empathetic person.