If you recognize these 9 signs, you’re dealing with a really self-absorbed individual

Isabella Chase by Isabella Chase | September 17, 2024, 4:49 pm

We’ve all come across individuals who seem to have an excessive interest in themselves.

Understanding self-absorption can be a game-changer.

It helps you to identify when someone is only interested in their own needs and desires, disregarding others around them.

In this article, I’m going to share with you nine tell-tale signs that you’re dealing with a highly self-absorbed individual.

These signs will help you spot those who are so caught up in their own world, they forget others exist.

So, if you’re constantly feeling overlooked or ignored, keep reading.

This article might just provide the answers you’ve been seeking.

1) Constantly talking about themselves

We’ve all been in conversations where it feels like we’re just a sounding board for the other person’s monologue.

Self-absorbed individuals have a knack for turning every conversation into a story about them.

They are often oblivious to the fact that conversations should be a two-way street.

It doesn’t matter if you’re talking about your recent vacation or a movie you’ve seen – they’ll find a way to bring the conversation back to themselves.

This constant need to focus all attention on themselves is a key sign of self-absorption.

If you notice this tendency in someone, you might be dealing with a person who is more interested in their own experiences than yours.

Remember: A healthy conversation involves give and take, not just one person dominating the narrative.

2) Lack of empathy

Now, this is a big one.

Empathy, the ability to understand and share the feelings of others, is a quality that self-absorbed individuals often lack.

I remember a time when I was dealing with a pretty rough patch in my life.

I had just lost my job and was feeling rather low.

I decided to confide in a friend who I thought would provide some solace.

But instead of offering comforting words or a listening ear, he immediately launched into a tirade about his own problems.

In that moment, I felt overlooked and dismissed. It was like my feelings didn’t matter at all.

That’s when I realized – true empathy was missing from his behavior.

3) Excessive competitiveness

Self-absorbed individuals tend to have an unhealthy level of competitiveness.

They always want to be the best, the smartest, the most successful – often at the expense of others.

This competitiveness isn’t just confined to traditional competitive arenas like sports or business either.

They even bring it into everyday situations, like casual conversations or social gatherings.

People who are extremely competitive may have a higher level of narcissism.

This trait is often linked with self-absorption as they’re more focused on their personal achievements rather than considering the feelings or perspectives of others.

So, if you notice someone turning every situation into a contest, it’s possible you’re dealing with a self-absorbed individual.

4) Disinterest in your life

Ever had a friend who never asks about your day?

Or a colleague who doesn’t seem to know anything about your life outside of work?

This could be another sign of self-absorption.

Self-absorbed individuals are often so engrossed in their own world, they show little to no interest in others.

Your experiences, feelings, and ideas might seem irrelevant to them unless it directly affects their own life.

This lack of interest extends beyond mere forgetfulness.

It’s a consistent pattern where they seem more interested in talking about themselves than hearing about you.

If you’ve noticed that someone rarely asks about your life or shows genuine interest in your experiences, you might be dealing with a self-absorbed person.

Always remember, a balanced relationship involves mutual interest and concern for each other’s lives.

5) They always play the victim

Life isn’t always fair, and we all face challenges.

However, self-absorbed individuals have a unique way of always playing the victim, no matter the situation.

These individuals have a tendency to blame others for their misfortunes and rarely take responsibility for their own actions.

They often see themselves as the perennial ‘underdog’ in an unkind world.

This constant victim mentality serves two purposes: it helps them seek attention and sympathy, and it allows them to dodge accountability.

6) Inability to listen

Listening is a powerful tool.

It shows respect, empathy, and understanding.

But for self-absorbed individuals, truly listening to others can be a struggle.

It’s not just about hearing the words someone speaks, but understanding the emotions behind those words.

This requires patience, attentiveness, and genuine care – qualities that are often lacking in self-absorbed people.

They might interrupt you mid-sentence, dismiss your feelings or ideas, or simply zone out while you’re talking.

These actions can leave you feeling unheard and unimportant.

Everyone deserves to be heard and validated.

You matter, and your voice deserves to be listened to.

7) Criticism comes easy to them

One thing I’ve noticed about self-absorbed individuals is their ease with criticism.

They often have a knack for pointing out flaws and shortcomings in others without a second thought.

I remember a time when I was particularly proud of a project I had completed at work.

But instead of appreciating my efforts, a colleague only pointed out the minor flaws.

It felt like my hard work had been reduced to nothing more than a few mistakes.

This constant criticism can be wearing and often serves to elevate the self-absorbed individual’s sense of superiority.

Don’t let their critical words define your worth.

You are more than the sum of your supposed flaws and mistakes.

8) Lack of gratitude

Gratitude is a quality that makes us appreciate the good in our lives and acknowledge the efforts of others.

However, self-absorbed individuals often lack this important trait.

They may take others’ efforts for granted, not realizing or acknowledging the time, energy, or resources someone else has invested for their benefit.

They may focus so much on what they don’t have that they miss out on appreciating what they do have.

This lack of gratitude can put a strain on relationships as it makes others feel undervalued and unappreciated.

9) They have a strong sense of entitlement

Perhaps one of the most glaring signs of a self-absorbed individual is an inflated sense of entitlement.

They believe they deserve more than others, simply by virtue of who they are.

This sense of entitlement can manifest in various ways.

They might demand special treatment, expect others to bend over backward to meet their needs, or become upset when things don’t go their way.

This attitude can be incredibly draining for those around them and can strain relationships.

If you encounter someone who consistently behaves as though the world owes them, it’s likely you’re dealing with a self-absorbed individual.

Remember, mutual respect and understanding are the foundations of any healthy relationship.

It’s about balance

One important thing to remember in all of this is that we all have moments of self-absorption.

It’s a part of human nature to focus on ourselves and our own needs.

But as with most things in life, it’s about balance.

It’s when these behaviors dominate a person’s interactions and relationships that it becomes a problem.

If you’ve recognized some of these signs in someone you know, it doesn’t necessarily mean they’re a bad person.

But it could be an indication that they need to work on their self-awareness and empathy skills.

And if you’ve recognized these signs in yourself, don’t despair. Self-awareness is the first step towards growth.

It’s never too late to work on becoming more understanding and considerate of others.

Relationships are about mutual respect, understanding, and empathy.

We all deserve to be heard, appreciated, and cherished for who we are.