With every selfie that gets posted, the whole world seems to become a tiny bit more narcissistic.

Many people have some slightly narcissistic tendencies.

However, real narcissists, those who could be diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder, have a very distinct set of characteristics that psychologists look for.

And these features are a lot more serious than posting selfies or staring at their reflections in still ponds like Narcissus, their Ancient Greek namesake.

These are personality characteristics that are extreme and behaviors that are dangerous and destructive for people who are close to them.

So, what does a real narcissist look like?

You may already know because you’ve likely come into contact with one or even have one in your life.

If you recognize these eight signs, you’re dealing with a highly skilled narcissist who has only their own interests at heart.

1) They have an excessive need for admiration

Narcissists need other people to look at and pay attention to them.

But even getting attention isn’t enough.

What they really need is to be praised, exalted, and admired by everyone around them.

Why is that?

The short answer is that narcissists are arrogant.

The long answer, however, is a lot more complicated. Of course!

Narcissists are fake people.

In general, they feel rejected, unwanted, and unvalued as children, so they create whole new personalities that they believe will make them wanted and valued.

They overinflate their sense of importance and their skills and abilities to make themselves feel special.

However, they need other people to go along with this whole deception, or it will fall apart.

So they’re constantly and desperately looking for admiration from others because that and only that can reinforce their feelings of self-worth.

They’ll focus on superficiality, which is a lot easier to control than deeper characteristics.

They’ll surround themselves with people who will give them a constant stream of compliments and praise they need to feed their fake personalities.

2) They discard other people easily

A narcissist needs to be around other people because they need that constant flow of admiration.

Because they’re feeding a fake personality, however, they can never get enough of it.

It’s like they’re always filling up their gas tank but at the same time always revving the engine as high as it will go.

So what happens to the people they’re demanding attention and admiration from?

They get quickly depleted.

When this happens, what’s the narcissist to do but toss them to the curb and look for new people to take their place?

They feel they have to do this because their need for admiration is their priority.

Their relationships with most people in their lives are, therefore, superficial and based purely on this dynamic.

As soon as someone isn’t fulfilling their role as an admirer, they’re no longer useful to the narcissist.

So, if you know someone with only a few friends and a big trail of discarded friends in their past, you’re probably dealing with a highly skilled narcissist.

3) They feel entitled to special treatment

The narcissist’s fake personality is built around lies they’ve created. 

Their sense of their own skills, knowledge, and abilities is hugely over-inflated, so they tend to see themselves as grandiose and superior to others.

A person who thinks they’re better than everyone else and demands that people around them see them in the same way will certainly feel entitled to special treatment.

They’ll expect to get the best table in a restaurant or to be comp’d at a casino.

They believe it’s only right that their boss likes them better than their coworkers and gives them better projects to work on.

And when a promotion comes up, of course, they should be the ones to get it.

The problem is that this entitlement is based on the myths they believe about themselves, not on any actual measure of talent or skill.

When a narcissist doesn’t get special treatment, they can really fly off the handle.

Not only do they see this as an insult to their superiority, but it’s also actually a threat to their entire fake personality.

4) They’re masterful at manipulation

In case you think that it’s easy to get a steady stream of people surrounding you and feeding your need for admiration only to be used up and discarded, it’s not.

The narcissist is simply not as wonderful, talented, and magnetic as they want to believe, and they can’t attract and keep admirers without making an effort.

There’s a whole lot of work that goes into convincing people to admire you.

First, they have to look for the right people, preferably individuals who are people-pleasers and those who have low self-esteem.

They’ll be the easiest to exploit and the least likely to resist the narcissist’s demands.

Next, they need to keep these people in their place.

They may start out by being incredibly nice and generous toward them, even using lovebombing if they’re trying to recruit a romantic partner.

But later, they’ll use other nefarious manipulation techniques like withholding that initial praise and benevolence, isolating, guilt-tripping, gaslighting, and exploiting people’s insecurities.

They’ll do anything they can that works to keep people under their spell and in their power.

5) They’re incredibly superficial

Some people are just really into beauty, whether it’s a person’s physical beauty or the captivating design of a luxury sports car.

However, the reason narcissists are superficial is that external features are a lot easier to control and manipulate than internal characteristics.

It’s arguably a whole lot easier to get plastic surgery so that you look like a beautiful person than it is to work on yourself and be a good person.

So, one sign that you’ll be able to notice about narcissists is a preoccupation with image.

These are people who get lots of plastic surgery done, who wear lots of makeup and expensive clothes, and who cling to status symbols like jewels, cars, and designer bags.

They also look at these things when they assess others, so their understanding of other people is also very superficial.

6) They get terribly jealous

A highly skilled narcissist might be an expert at manipulating a partner or a so-called friend, but they often find it impossible to hide their jealousy when it rears its ugly head.

For the narcissist’s fake narrative to work, they need to have all the things that their made-up persona requires to be admired.

They should be surrounded by friends, have a nice home, and have a partner and even children if these accessories fit the character they’ve invented.

They feel an intense need to acquire these accessories and, therefore, protect them jealously.

If someone else comes along and their friends think that person is more interesting, better-looking, or more attractive, they can’t handle it. 

If their partner even suggests wanting to spend time with someone else, like their friends or family, this can throw the narcissist into a jealous rage.

Surely, they should be the only one anyone wants to focus on!

This jealous behavior is a telltale sign of a classic narcissist who has to be the center of the world for their hangers-on. 

7) They attach themselves to big people

Highly skilled narcissists know how to get the admiration that they so desperately need.

One of the best ways they can think of is to associate themselves with “big” people.

By this I mean other people who are rich and powerful or even famous names around town.

Sometimes, this association is really tenuous.

They might simply drop the names of powerful people they don’t really even know just to try to get a bit of credit from the association.

But many narcissists will claw their way up social ladders and actually associate with these big, important people.

They’ll insinuate themselves into social circles and make sure they’re at the front when pictures are taken.

That way, everyone can see them hobnobbing with the rich and powerful, which will make everyone realize just how important and special they truly are.

Won’t it? 

8) They blame others

It makes perfect sense that highly skilled narcissists are experts at deflecting blame.

After all, they’re great at manipulation, and they believe they’re the best thing since sliced bread.

This means that they can’t ever have any marks on their records, and if they ever do anything wrong or badly, they have to attribute it to other people.

So, they blame others when they make mistakes.

When they hurt someone, they’ll usually spin things so and say that person hurt themselves.

Their skills at deflecting blame and throwing others under the bus are actually a marvel to behold!

Final thought

If you recognize these eight signs, there’s a really good chance that you’re dealing with a highly skilled narcissist.

These people are essentially bottomless pits of need and will suck all the attention and admiration out of you that they can before tossing you aside, used up and emotionally drained.

So be warned!