If you recognize these 9 signs, you’re dealing with a highly-skilled manipulator

Tina Fey by Tina Fey | May 9, 2024, 8:13 pm

There’s a fine line between a persuasive influencer and a manipulative person.

Manipulation, unlike influence, isn’t about offering choices. It’s about pulling strings from behind the curtain to get what one wants.

Here, I’ll share 9 signs that you’re dealing with a highly-skilled manipulator. Keep reading, and soon you’ll be able to identify these puppet masters in no time.

1) They’re always playing the victim

Manipulators are experts at playing the victim card.

Why? Because it’s an effective way to gain sympathy and control the narrative.

This tactic involves painting themselves as the innocent party, regardless of the situation or their involvement. Their stories often involve them being wronged, mistreated, or misunderstood by others.

By always being the ‘victim’, they manipulate others into siding with them, often leading to an uneven power dynamic.

But remember, everyone has their share of troubles. If someone consistently portrays themselves as a victim, you might just be dealing with a manipulator.

2) They twist your words

One thing I’ve noticed about manipulators is their knack for twisting words.

Let me share a personal experience. I had a friend who was a master at this. Whenever we’d have disagreements, she’d distort my words, making it seem as if I was the one at fault. She’d take my statements out of context, using them to her advantage.

Are you in a similar situation?

It took me a while to realize what was happening. My words were being used against me, creating confusion and self-doubt. It was a classic manipulation technique.

If you find yourself often misunderstood or misquoted, take note. You might be dealing with a highly-skilled manipulator.

3) They exploit your weaknesses

Manipulators are like detectives, they have a knack for uncovering your insecurities and exploiting them.

The truth is, manipulators often spend a considerable amount of time studying those around them. This isn’t because they’re genuinely interested in getting to know you. Instead, it’s a calculated move to identify your weaknesses and vulnerabilities.

Once they’ve identified these weak spots, they won’t hesitate to use this information to their advantage. Whether it’s making you feel insecure about a personal flaw or using a past mistake as leverage, manipulating your weaknesses is a common strategy for these cunning individuals.

4) They make you feel guilty

Are you feeling that?

Guilt is a powerful emotion, and manipulators know exactly how to use it to their advantage.

If you find yourself constantly feeling guilty, even when you haven’t done anything wrong, you might be dealing with a manipulator. They have a way of turning situations around and making you feel like you’re the one who should be apologizing.

Here’s how it works:

They might remind you of a past mistake or bring up a sensitive topic to make you feel guilty. This is just another tactic they use to gain control and make you do what they want.

Everyone makes mistakes. Don’t let someone use your past against you to manipulate your present.

5) They’re never wrong

Ever met someone who never admits they’re wrong? Chances are, you might be dealing with a manipulator.

Manipulators have an uncanny ability to avoid taking responsibility for their actions.

They will always find a way to shift the blame onto others. No matter how obvious their mistake is, they’ll twist the situation to make it seem like it’s not their fault.

This can be incredibly frustrating to deal with since it prevents any form of constructive communication or resolution.

6) They’re emotionally draining

Relationships should be about mutual respect, understanding, and emotional support. But with a manipulator, it often feels one-sided.

You find yourself constantly trying to please them, to keep the peace. Your feelings are dismissed or belittled, while theirs are always front and center. You’re left feeling exhausted, emotionally drained and unheard.

It’s a tough situation to be in, especially when you care about the person. But remember, your feelings matter too. If you constantly feel emotionally depleted after interacting with someone, it could be a sign of manipulation.

Take care of your emotional health and don’t let anyone make you feel less than what you are worth.

7) They gaslight you

Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation where a person sows seeds of doubt in your mind, making you question your own memory, perception, or sanity.

I’ve experienced this firsthand. A former colleague of mine would often dismiss my ideas during meetings, only to later present them as her own. When I’d confront her, she’d convince me that I was mistaken and that the idea was always hers. It was subtle yet disorienting – making me doubt my own recollections.

This is a common tactic manipulators use to gain power and control. So if you ever find yourself doubting your own experiences or reality, take a step back. You might just be a victim of gaslighting.

8) They give you the silent treatment

The silent treatment, also known as stonewalling, is a manipulative tactic often used to gain control in a relationship.

When a manipulator doesn’t get their way or feels threatened, they might resort to silence – ignoring your calls, messages, or attempts at conversation. This is done to make you feel anxious, guilty, or even desperate for their attention.

Ultimately, it’s a passive-aggressive way of showing displeasure and exerting control.

Communication is key in any relationship – don’t let anyone manipulate you into believing otherwise.

9) They make you question your worth

The most insidious trait of a manipulator is their ability to make you question your self-worth. They belittle your achievements, undermine your confidence, and make you feel like you’re never good enough.

This isn’t about you, it’s about them. It’s their way of maintaining control and keeping you in a state of self-doubt.

Always remember, no one has the right to make you feel inferior. Your worth is not determined by someone else’s opinion or manipulation tactics. Stand firm in your self-belief.

Final thoughts: Knowledge is power

Understanding the signs of manipulation is the first step towards protecting yourself from its harmful effects.

Manipulators are skilled at exploiting your vulnerabilities, twisting your words, and making you question your worth. But remember, these are tactics designed to control and undermine you.

When armed with knowledge, you become resilient. You can see through these tactics and stand up against them.

No one has the right to control or manipulate you. Your worth is not determined by someone else’s actions or opinions. You have the power to set boundaries and demand respect.

Take this knowledge and use it to empower yourself. Because when it comes to dealing with manipulators, knowledge truly is power.

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