The way we grow up shapes who we become, often in ways we don’t immediately recognize.

If you had overly-critical parents, their influence might still linger in your everyday thoughts and behaviors.

Perfectionism, self-doubt, and an overwhelming need for approval might feel like second nature to you.

But these traits, rooted in your upbringing, can hold you back from truly embracing who you are.

Understanding these signs is more than just a reflection on the past—it’s a step toward reclaiming your confidence and living life on your terms.

1) You’re a perfectionist

Perfectionism is a trait often seen in those who grew up with overly-critical parents.

You see, when you’re constantly criticized, you can start to feel like nothing you do is ever good enough.

This may lead you to strive for perfection in everything, hoping that it will finally earn you the approval you crave.

It’s like chasing a mirage, though. No matter how close you get, perfection keeps moving just out of reach. It’s an exhausting, never-ending cycle.

But recognizing this sign is the first step towards breaking free from it.

No one is perfect and it’s totally okay to make mistakes. That’s how we grow and learn.

It’s time to let go of unrealistic expectations and embrace your beautifully imperfect self.

2) You often second-guess yourself

This one, I can relate to on a personal level.

Growing up, my parents were always quick to point out where I went wrong.

Whether it was a test I didn’t ace or a task I didn’t execute perfectly, their criticism was always there, ready to highlight my shortcomings.

Over time, this led me to second-guess every decision I made. It felt like I was walking on eggshells, constantly worried about making a mistake and inviting more criticism.

Even now, as an adult, I sometimes find myself hesitating over decisions that should be straightforward.

It’s like there’s a little voice in my head, echoing my parents’ critical words and making me doubt myself.

But self-doubt doesn’t have to rule your life.

By acknowledging it as a byproduct of overly critical parenting, you can begin the journey toward building self-confidence and trusting your own judgment.

3) You’re overly critical of others

Here’s something you might not have considered: the way we’ve been treated in our past often shapes how we treat others.

Research suggests that children who receive constant criticism are more likely to grow into adults who criticize others excessively.

It’s as if the critical voice of our parents has been internalized and then projected onto the people around us.

If you find yourself being overly critical of your friends, colleagues, or even strangers, it could be a sign that you’re mirroring the behavior you grew up with.

But don’t worry, recognizing this pattern is the first step towards breaking it.

With conscious effort, you can learn to replace criticism with understanding and empathy.

4) You struggle with self-esteem

Low self-esteem is a common side effect of growing up with overly-critical parents.

When every action you take is met with criticism, it’s easy to start believing that you’re not good enough.

Over time, these negative beliefs can erode your self-esteem and leave you feeling unworthy or inadequate.

You might find yourself constantly seeking validation from others, or downplaying your own accomplishments because you fear they aren’t good enough.

The good news is, that it’s never too late to start building your self-esteem.

Recognizing this sign is the first step towards healing and learning to value yourself for who you truly are, not for what others expect you to be.

5) You’re uncomfortable with praise

This one hits a little close to home for me.

Whenever I receive a compliment or praise, I find myself feeling awkward or even suspicious.

It’s like a part of me doesn’t believe I deserve it, or assumes there must be a catch.

Growing up, compliments were few and far between.

Any achievement was quickly overshadowed by criticism or a push to do even better next time.

So now, when someone praises me, it feels foreign and uncomfortable.

If you can relate to this, it might be a sign that you grew up with overly-critical parents.

Everyone deserves to be recognized for their achievements and it’s okay to embrace compliments with grace and gratitude.

6) You have a hard time expressing your emotions

If you grew up with overly-critical parents, you may have learned to suppress your feelings as a survival mechanism.

Showing emotions might have been seen as a sign of weakness or even invited more criticism.

As a result, you might have learned to hide your feelings, leading to difficulties in expressing emotions in your adult life.

This can impact your relationships and overall emotional well-being. But it’s perfectly okay to express your feelings.

Emotions are not a sign of weakness, but a part of being human.

Acknowledging this sign is the first step towards learning to express your emotions in a healthy way.

7) You’re constantly striving for approval

The most pivotal sign that you grew up with overly-critical parents is an incessant need for approval.

You might find yourself doing things you don’t necessarily want to do, just to get a nod of approval from others.

This constant strive for external validation can be exhausting and unfulfilling, as you’re living your life according to others’ expectations and not your own.

The key?

Your worth is not determined by others’ approval. You are enough, just as you are. Live your life for you, not for the acceptance of others.

Final thoughts

Coming to terms with the impact of overly critical parenting isn’t easy, but it’s a crucial part of your personal journey.

These behaviors—perfectionism, self-criticism, the constant quest for approval—don’t have to define you.

They are remnants of a past that you can choose to move beyond. By recognizing these patterns, you’re not just acknowledging their existence; you’re taking control.

It’s about learning to value yourself for who you are, not for how well you meet others’ expectations.

The path to self-acceptance and confidence starts here, with the decision to let go of the past and embrace your true, imperfect self.