For many of us, our relationship with food is more complex than we’d like to admit.

It’s not just about what’s on the plate—it’s about why we’re eating, how we feel before, during, and after a meal, and what role food plays in our daily lives.

If you find yourself using food as comfort, feeling guilty after eating, or obsessing over every bite, you might be dealing with an unhealthy relationship with food.

In this article, we’ll explore 9 telling signs that could reveal a strained connection with food—one that could be impacting your mental and physical well-being.

1) You’re constantly on a diet

It’s common for people to try new diets from time to time. But if you find yourself hopping from one diet to another without a break, consider it a red flag.

This kind of behavior often results in a vicious cycle of dieting, bingeing, and then dieting again. It isn’t about making healthy changes but about being in constant control of what you eat.

Constant dieting can lead to feelings of deprivation and guilt, which are both signs of an unhealthy relationship with food.

Healthy eating should never be about restricting yourself but rather, finding balance and enjoyment in what you eat.

2) You use food as a coping mechanism

We all have those days when we just need a little comfort food. For me, it used to be chocolate chip cookies.

A bad day at work, a fight with a friend, feeling stressed out – my solution was always the same.

But then I noticed a pattern. I wasn’t just enjoying the cookies because they tasted good, I was using them to cope with my emotions.

Food became my go-to for dealing with any negative feelings. It was a quick fix, but ultimately, it didn’t solve any problems.

Instead, it created a new one – an unhealthy emotional dependency on food.

Using food as an emotional crutch can quickly lead to overeating and guilt. If you notice yourself reaching for a snack every time you’re upset, it might be a sign that your relationship with food is not as healthy as it could be.

3) You eat in secret

Eating in secret can be a clear sign of an unhealthy relationship with food. It often stems from feelings of guilt or shame about what or how much you’re eating.

A study published in the International Journal of Eating Disorders found that individuals who eat in secret are more likely to have disordered eating patterns. This can lead to serious health problems down the line, including:

• Obesity
• Diabetes
• Heart disease

If you find yourself hiding your eating habits from others, it might be time to address why you feel the need to do so.

Eating is not something you should feel ashamed of – it’s a necessary and enjoyable part of life.

4) You ignore your body’s hunger cues

Listening to your body’s hunger and fullness cues is a crucial part of maintaining a healthy relationship with food.

But if you find yourself ignoring these signals, either by eating when you’re not hungry or by not eating when you are, it could be a sign of an unhealthy dynamic.

Our bodies are pretty smart. They know when they need fuel and when they’ve had enough.

But sometimes, whether due to stress, dieting, or other factors, we can lose touch with these signals.

Ignoring your hunger cues can lead to overeating or under-eating, both of which can have negative impacts on your health. So it’s important to tune into what your body is telling you and respond appropriately.

5) You feel guilty after eating

Eating should be an enjoyable activity, not one that leaves you feeling guilty or ashamed.

If you regularly feel bad about yourself after eating, particularly if you’ve eaten something you consider ‘bad’ or ‘unhealthy’, it’s a sign of an unhealthy relationship with food.

Food shouldn’t be categorized as ‘good’ or ‘bad’. It’s just food. All foods can fit into a healthy diet in moderation.

Feeling guilty after eating can lead to a cycle of restriction and bingeing, which can harm both your physical and mental health.

6) You’re obsessed with calorie counting

Calorie counting can be a useful tool for some people. It can help you understand portion sizes and make healthier choices.

But when it becomes an obsession, it’s an entirely different story.

When you’re constantly thinking about the calories in every bite you take, it takes the joy out of eating. Food becomes a numbers game rather than a source of nourishment and enjoyment.

I’ve seen this in people close to me, and it’s heartbreaking.

They miss out on social events because they’re worried about the food that will be there. They spend hours planning their meals to make sure they stay within their ‘calorie budget’.

Obsessive calorie counting can lead to disordered eating and can take a serious toll on your mental health. 

7) You feel out of control when you’re around food

There was a time when I’d walk into a party and the first thing I’d notice was the food.

Not the people, not the decor, but the food. And once I started eating, it felt like I couldn’t stop. It was as if something else had taken control.

This feeling of being out of control around food is a common sign of an unhealthy relationship with it.

It’s often linked with binge eating disorder, a serious condition characterized by regular episodes of eating large amounts of food.

Feeling out of control around food can be scary and isolating. But recognizing this sign is the first step towards seeking help and developing a healthier relationship with food.

8) You constantly think about food

Food is a part of our daily lives and it’s completely normal to think about it. But when these thoughts become obsessive, it could be a sign of an unhealthy relationship with food.

If you’re constantly planning your next meal, worrying about what you ate, or thinking about food even when you’re not hungry, it can be a red flag.

This preoccupation with food can take up a lot of mental space and lead to anxiety and stress.

Remember, food is meant to be enjoyed and nourish our bodies, not something that should cause constant worry or concern. 

9) Your self-worth is tied to what you eat

The most important sign that you might have an unhealthy relationship with food is if your self-worth is tied to what you eat.

If you feel good about yourself when you eat ‘healthy’ and bad when you don’t, it’s a clear sign that your relationship with food needs attention.

Food is not a measure of worth. You are not a ‘bad’ person for eating a slice of cake or a ‘good’ one for having a salad. It’s crucial to separate your self-esteem from your eating habits.

Believing otherwise can lead to dangerous patterns of guilt, restriction, bingeing, and can severely damage your mental health. 

Final thoughts: Healing is possible

If you’ve recognized some of these signs in yourself, it’s okay—acknowledging them is the first step toward building a healthier relationship with food.

Changing these habits and mindsets won’t happen overnight, but with patience and self-compassion, you can start shifting toward a more balanced approach.

Start by listening to your body’s cues, separating emotions from eating, and letting go of restrictive diets that lead to cycles of guilt and deprivation.

Challenge labels and food myths, and focus on how food makes you feel, not just what you “should” or “shouldn’t” eat.

Food is meant to nourish you, not control you. Be gentle with yourself, and if you need support, don’t hesitate to reach out to a professional who can guide you.