Family is supposed to be a source of support, love, and comfort. But sometimes, the people who are closest to us can have the most damaging effect on our well-being.

As a relationship expert, I can tell you that it’s more common than you think.

If you’re feeling drained, misunderstood, or constantly walking on eggshells around your family, you might be caught in a toxic family dynamic.

In this article, we’ll break down 7 clear signs that your family relationships aren’t just unhealthy—they’re toxic.

This isn’t about pointing fingers or assigning blame, but rather identifying the signs that suggest maybe your family ties are more damaging than you thought.

1) You’re constantly walking on eggshells

One of the most obvious signs of a toxic family dynamic is the feeling that you’re always walking on eggshells.

This happens when you’re so afraid of upsetting a family member or triggering their anger or criticism that you become hyper-aware of your every move.

In this kind of environment, you:

• Second-guess everything you say
• Monitor your behavior constantly
• Avoid expressing your true feelings or opinions for fear of backlash

It’s emotionally exhausting to live in a state of constant vigilance, and over time, this kind of tension can start to eat away at your sense of self.

In a healthy family relationship, you should feel safe and comfortable being yourself. If that’s not the case, it might be time to take a closer look at what’s really going on.

2) You feel better when they’re not around

It might seem obvious, but it’s not always. We often associate family with comfort and security, so it can be hard to admit that you actually feel more at ease when they’re not around.

Feeling a sense of relief when a family member leaves the room or when you leave a family gathering is a clear sign that something isn’t right.

This doesn’t mean you don’t love your family. It’s not about lacking affection, but rather recognizing that the relationship may be causing more stress, tension, or emotional turmoil than it should.

Healthy relationships with family should uplift and nourish you, not leave you feeling exhausted or constantly on edge.

3) You’re always the one making the effort

In my work as a relationship expert, I’ve noticed that one-sided relationships are a common sign of toxicity.

If you’re always the one reaching out, making plans, or trying to keep the peace, it’s likely that you’re in a toxic family relationship.

Relationships, including those with family, should be reciprocal. Both parties need to put in effort to maintain a healthy, functioning relationship.

In my book Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship, I delve deeper into this issue and provide practical steps on how to navigate such situations.

Remember, it’s not just about identifying the problem but also finding ways to fix it.

4) They never acknowledge your achievements

It’s a wonderful feeling when your family celebrates your wins with you, no matter how big or small. But in a toxic family relationship, your achievements often go unnoticed or are even downplayed.

Instead of feeling proud and uplifted, you might feel dismissed or unimportant. You may even start to second-guess your accomplishments or feel like they’re not worth celebrating.

This lack of recognition can lead to feelings of being undervalued and unappreciated, and over time, it can chip away at your self-esteem.

As I’ve navigated my own relationships, I’ve learned the importance of verbal affirmation and recognition. It breeds positivity, fosters mutual respect, and makes us feel loved and valued.

5) You’re always the scapegoat

In a toxic family dynamic, there’s often one person who gets blamed for everything that goes wrong. If you’re constantly finding yourself in the line of fire, it’s a clear sign that the relationship is unhealthy.

I’ve seen this play out time and again in the families I’ve worked with. Being the family scapegoat can lead to feelings of isolation, low self-esteem, and constant anxiety.

A healthy family relationship should involve accountability from everyone involved. If you’re always the one apologizing or taking the blame, reevaluate those family ties.

6) They constantly belittle your feelings

If you find that your family consistently dismisses or minimizes your feelings, this is a significant sign of a toxic relationship.

Constantly hearing things like “you’re being too sensitive” or “it’s not a big deal” when you express your feelings can be incredibly invalidating. Over time, it can lead to self-doubt and make you question whether your emotions are even worth expressing.

In my own experience, it’s essential to have your emotions acknowledged and validated in a family setting. It’s the foundation of empathy and understanding.

Without emotional validation, it becomes harder to feel seen or heard, and this constant disregard for your emotions can erode trust and closeness.

Your feelings are real, and in any healthy relationship, they should be respected, not minimized.

7) You feel drained after interacting with them

This is a raw, honest sign that your family relationship might be toxic. If you find yourself feeling emotionally drained after every interaction, it’s a clear indication that something isn’t right.

In a healthy relationship, interactions should leave you feeling energized, understood, and valued.

But in a toxic one, you’re left feeling like an empty vessel, devoid of energy and motivation.

The truth is, no relationship should leave you feeling consistently drained and emotionally exhausted. It’s a sign that it’s time to reassess and possibly seek guidance on how to navigate such a challenging situation.

Understanding the signs: A step towards healing

As a relationship expert, I’ve seen countless individuals navigate their way out of toxic family ties and emerge stronger. 

Know that it’s okay to prioritize your mental and emotional health.

You have the power to decide what’s best for you, and making changes to toxic relationships—no matter how difficult—can open the door to a more peaceful and fulfilling life.