In an ideal world, we would all understand our worth and respect ourselves. Yet the truth is, too often, we put others’ needs before our own and neglect self-care.

This lack of self-prioritization can lead to feelings of exhaustion, resentment, and even physical health problems.

Psychology tells us that consistently putting ourselves last isn’t just unhealthy—it’s a sign that we need to start prioritizing ourselves more.

I’m going to share nine signs that you’ve been neglecting your own needs and desires. If you recognize these signs in your own life, it’s time to reevaluate how you treat yourself.

This is your wake-up call to start prioritizing yourself more, for both your mental and physical well-being.

1) You’re always tired

Constant tiredness can creep up on you, often masquerading as a busy lifestyle or just the ‘norm’. But if you find yourself perpetually drained of energy, it’s a red flag.

This could mean that you’re overextending yourself or not getting enough rest.

Perhaps you’re constantly working late hours to meet deadlines, or always saying ‘yes’ to social events even when you’d rather stay in and rest.

Maybe you’re always the one taking care of others, leaving little time for your own needs and self-care.

Or maybe you’re so used to putting others first that you don’t even realize how worn out you are.

If this sounds like you, it’s time to take a step back and start prioritizing your own well-being.

Remember that it’s okay to say ‘no’, take breaks, and put your own needs first. Your energy levels are a vital sign of your overall health and well-being, so make sure to listen to what your body is telling you.

2) You struggle with self-esteem

Feelings of low self-worth or a constant need for validation from others can be a clear indicator that you’re not prioritizing yourself enough.

You might find yourself constantly seeking approval from others, or feeling like you’re not good enough unless someone else says so. This can lead to a cycle of self-doubt and insecurity that only reinforces the negative feelings.

Remember, your value doesn’t come from what others think of you, but from how you see yourself.

• Practice self-love by acknowledging your achievements, no matter how small they may seem.
• Remind yourself of your strengths and abilities.
• Develop a habit of positive self-talk and affirmations.

By doing so, you begin to build your self-esteem from within, independent of outside validation.

3) You’re always busy, but never productive

Being constantly busy might seem like a sign of importance or efficiency.

But if you’re always rushing from one task to another without feeling like you’re making progress, it may indicate that you’re not prioritizing yourself or your goals properly.

You might be saying ‘yes’ to too many requests or taking on tasks that aren’t aligned with your personal or professional goals. This can leave you feeling overwhelmed, stressed out, and stuck in a cycle of busyness without productivity.

Remember, being busy isn’t the same as being productive. It’s crucial to prioritize tasks that align with your goals and contribute to your growth and well-being.

If you’re constantly caught in the whirlwind of busyness, it might be time to reassess your priorities. Learn to delegate or say no and start focusing more on what truly matters to you.

4) You feel like a doormat

If you find yourself constantly bending over backwards to please others, always agreeing to avoid conflict, or constantly sacrificing your own needs and desires for the sake of others, you’re likely treating yourself as a doormat.

This isn’t healthy or fair to you.

You have a right to express your thoughts and feelings, and your needs and desires are just as important as anyone else’s.

Being kind and accommodating doesn’t mean letting others walk all over you. It’s time to stand up for yourself, establish boundaries, and demand the respect you deserve.

Remember, you teach people how to treat you by what you allow, what you stop, and what you reinforce.

If this resonates with you, it’s time to start prioritizing your own self-respect and dignity.

5) You struggle to say ‘no’

It’s perfectly natural to want to help others and be there for them. But if you find it hard to say ‘no’, even when you’re already stretched thin, it’s a sign that you’re not prioritizing your own needs.

You might worry about disappointing others, or feel guilty for putting your needs first. But remember, it’s not just okay, but necessary, to say ‘no’ sometimes.

Saying ‘no’ doesn’t make you selfish or unkind – it makes you human. We all have limits, and it’s essential to acknowledge and respect them.

Saying ‘no’ can also be an act of self-love and self-respect.

So, if you often find it hard to decline requests or favors, it’s time to practice setting boundaries and prioritizing your own well-being.

6) You’re always the listener, never the speaker

Ever find yourself being the shoulder to cry on, the one giving advice, or the listener in most conversations?

While it’s great to be someone others can lean on, it’s equally important to have your own voice heard.

If you’re always listening but rarely sharing, it might be because you’re not prioritizing your own feelings and experiences. Perhaps you feel like your problems aren’t as important, or you don’t want to burden others.

But remember, your feelings matter too. Your experiences, thoughts, and emotions are just as valid and deserve to be heard.

If this sounds like you, it might be time to start prioritizing your own voice.

Share your thoughts and feelings with others, seek support when needed, and remember that it’s okay to take up space.

7) You can’t remember the last time you had fun

When was the last time you did something just for the sheer joy of it?

If you’re struggling to remember, it’s a sign that you need to prioritize yourself more.

We often get so caught up in our responsibilities and tasks that we forget to make time for fun. But engaging in activities that bring us joy is essential for our overall well-being.

Whether it’s dancing around the living room, reading a good book, painting, hiking, or just enjoying a lazy day in bed—these moments of joy are not frivolous. They’re necessary for our mental health and happiness.

So if your days are all work and no play, it’s time to inject some fun back into your life. Remember, life is meant to be enjoyed, not just endured!

8) You’re always waiting for ‘someday’

Are you always waiting for the perfect time to start that project, take that trip, or even just take a break?

If ‘someday’ is a frequent word in your vocabulary, it’s a sign you’re not prioritizing yourself enough.

The truth is, there will never be a perfect time. There will always be tasks to complete, responsibilities to meet, and obstacles in the way.

Waiting for ‘someday’ often means never.

It’s time to stop putting your life on hold and start living in the present.

Take that trip. Start that project. Give yourself a break. Because you deserve to live your best life now—not ‘someday’.

Remember, the perfect time to prioritize yourself is right now. So don’t wait for ‘someday’—make today count.

9) You’re putting everyone else’s happiness before your own

If you’re constantly working to make others happy while neglecting your own joy, it’s a glaring sign you need to start prioritizing yourself more.

Yes, it feels good to bring a smile to someone else’s face. But your happiness matters just as much. You are not responsible for everyone else’s happiness, especially not at the expense of your own.

Remember, it’s not selfish to prioritize your own happiness. In fact, when you are happier, you’re better able to spread that joy to others.

So if you’ve been putting everyone else’s happiness first, it’s time for a change.

Start making decisions and choices that bring you joy and fulfillment. After all, your happiness is the most important thing. And you deserve to be as happy as you make others.

Wrapping it up

If you recognize yourself in these signs, it’s time to take a step back and reflect on how you’re treating yourself.

These signs don’t define you, but they are signals that you may need to start treating yourself with the same kindness, respect and care that you give others.

Recognizing these signs is the first step towards making positive changes in your life. 

Prioritizing yourself isn’t about being selfish, it’s about recognizing your worth and taking care of your own needs and desires.

Remember: You are enough. You are important. And you deserve to prioritize yourself.