Dealing with a  two-faced friend, can be a tough pill to swallow, but recognizing their behaviors can help you make an informed decision about your relationship.

Identifying these behaviors is all about understanding the signs that someone isn’t being genuine with you.

Here are some behaviors that could indicate you’re dealing with a two-faced friend.

1) They’re inconsistent

There’s nothing more telling in a friendship than consistency.

Often, you’ll notice a friend who behaves differently when it’s just the two of you compared to when you’re in a group. It can be perplexing and even hurtful.

Welcome to the world of inconsistent behavior.

Inconsistent behavior is one sign of a two-faced friend. The basic idea is that they can’t maintain the same demeanor or level of respect with you when others are around.

So if you spot inconsistency in a friend’s behavior, it might be a sign that they’re being two-faced.

But ensure you have solid proof before you confront them to avoid unnecessary conflicts.

2) They gossip about others with you

In my own experience, I’ve noticed a clear red flag when it comes to identifying a two-faced friend.

One day, I was having lunch with a friend who always seemed eager to share the latest gossip. She would spill all the juicy details about our mutual friends, often painting them in a negative light.

Initially, I found it entertaining and perhaps even a bit bonding. Who doesn’t enjoy a little gossip, right?

But then, it hit me. If she’s so comfortable sharing other people’s secrets and shortcomings with me, what’s stopping her from doing the same about me when I’m not around?

This realization was a wakeup call. Gossiping about others can be a key sign of a two-faced friend.

They may be friendly and close to you in person, but behind your back, they could be sharing things that you would rather keep private.

3) They’re never available when you need them

Being there for each other is the cornerstone of any strong friendship. But what happens when your friend is conspicuously unavailable every time you need them?

This behavior could be a sign of a two-faced friend. They might be all smiles and support when it’s convenient for them, but when you call on them for help or support, they’re suddenly MIA.

If you notice that your friend always seems to have an excuse when you need their help, it might be time to question their loyalty.

Genuine friends are there for you in both good times and bad.

4) They are quick to criticize

Criticism, when constructive, can help us grow and improve. But when a friend seems to always find something wrong with you or your ideas, it might be a sign they’re two-faced.

A two-faced friend often uses criticism as a tool to undermine and belittle you. They might disguise it as ‘just being honest’ or ‘trying to help’, but it leaves you feeling small and self-conscious.

This kind of constant, harsh criticism is very different from the constructive feedback that true friends offer.

True friends provide feedback that aims to uplift and improve, not tear down.

5) They only reach out when they need something

Friendship is about give and take, but the balance should be relatively equal.

A defining trait of a two-faced friend is their knack for reaching out only when they need something from you. Be it assistance with work, a favor, or even emotional support, they seem to remember your existence only in their times of need.

Once their need is fulfilled, they might go back to being distant, showing little interest in your life until the next time they require your help.

This kind of selfish behavior is not characteristic of a genuine friend.

Real friends show consistent interest in your life and well-being, not just when they need something.

6) They don’t celebrate your successes

One of the most beautiful aspects of friendship is the joy of shared celebrations. Your triumphs become their triumphs, and your happiness matters to them.

But what if a friend doesn’t seem to share in your joy?

A two-faced friend may downplay your accomplishments or, worse, entirely ignore them. They might change the subject when you bring up your successes or even try to outdo you with their achievements.

This lack of mutual celebration can be hurtful. It leaves a sting that’s hard to ignore, a realization that perhaps they aren’t as invested in your happiness as a true friend should be.

 Genuine friends rejoice in each other’s success because they truly care.

7) They make you feel uneasy

Trust your instincts. They’re more powerful than we often give them credit for.

I remember a friend who always left me feeling uneasy. Even though they never did anything outright wrong, I always felt a sense of unease after our interactions. It was as if something just didn’t add up.

Over time, I realized that this discomfort stemmed from their insincere behavior. Their words didn’t match their actions, and they often made promises they didn’t keep.

This realization taught me to trust my instincts when something feels off in a friendship. If you consistently feel uneasy around a friend, it may be a sign that they’re being two-faced.

Don’t ignore that gut feeling. It could be alerting you to the truth beneath the surface.

8) They share your secrets

Confiding in a friend is a sign of trust. When you share your secrets with someone, you’re entrusting them with a piece of yourself.

However, a two-faced friend may not respect this trust. If you find out that they’re sharing your secrets with others without your permission, this is a significant breach of trust.

This behavior not only shows a lack of respect for your privacy but also indicates that they can’t be trusted with sensitive information.

It can lead to feelings of betrayal and damage the foundation of your friendship.

9) They don’t stand up for you

The ultimate test of friendship is whether someone is willing to stand up for you. A true friend will defend you when you’re not around to do it yourself, and they’ll support you when others don’t.

However, a two-faced friend might remain silent, or worse, join in when others criticize or belittle you. Their loyalty seems to waver depending on who they’re with, and they don’t have your back when it really counts.

This lack of support can be deeply hurtful and is a clear sign that they’re not a genuine friend.

A real friend values your friendship enough to stand up for you, even when it’s uncomfortable or difficult.

Final thoughts: It’s about self-respect

Dealing with two-faced friends can be challenging.  Their inconsistent behavior, lack of genuine support, and disregard for your trust is disheartening. 

It’s crucial to remember, however, that this is less about them and more about your own self-respect.

Dr. Phil McGraw once said, “We teach people how to treat us.” This statement rings true in the face of two-faced friends.

By identifying and addressing these behaviors, you’re setting boundaries and sending a clear message about what you will and will not tolerate in a friendship.

Whether it’s choosing to confront them or deciding to cut ties, the underlying principle remains the same: respect for yourself. You deserve friends who value and respect you as much as you do them.

Recognizing these behaviors is the first step towards healthier and more genuine friendships. It’s a journey of self-discovery, self-respect, and ultimately, self-love.