Navigating relationships can be tricky, especially when you’re dealing with someone who’s a bit too self-absorbed.

These individuals may not be full-blown narcissists, but they exhibit traits that are just as challenging.

Their habits are often subtle, flying under the radar of blatant narcissism.

Recognizing these behaviors is critical. It helps you understand what you’re dealing with and how to manage it effectively.

In this article, we’ll delve into the ten key behaviors that indicate you’re dealing with a low-key narcissist.

Let’s get started. 

1) It’s always about them

It’s subtle, but it’s there. That constant need to steer the conversation back to themselves.

Low-key narcissists have a knack for turning any discussion into an opportunity to highlight their achievements, experiences or feelings. Your promotion at work? It’s an opening for them to talk about how they were once promoted too. Your recent holiday? They’ve been there and done that – probably better.

This behaviour often feels harmless, a mere quirk. But over time, it can become draining as you realise the conversation is always one-sided.

A balanced relationship involves mutual give-and-take.

2) They disregard your feelings

One time, I was dealing with a family crisis. I was visibly upset and shared my feelings with a friend.

Instead of offering comfort or empathy, they dismissed my concerns and turned the conversation back to their latest work drama.

Low-key narcissists have a hard time recognizing the feelings of others.

They’re so focused on their own world that they often disregard others’ emotions.

You might notice them brushing off your worries, showing little sympathy when you’re upset, or even ridiculing your feelings.

This lack of empathy is a classic sign of narcissism – even if it’s not always glaringly obvious.

If you frequently feel unheard or invalidated around someone, take note. You might be dealing with a low-key narcissist.

3) They constantly need validation

Did you know narcissists have an inflated sense of self-importance, but it’s often underpinned by a deep-seated self-doubt?

They rely heavily on others for validation to maintain their high self-image.

Low-key narcissists are no different. They crave compliments and admiration, and they’re not shy about fishing for them.

Whether it’s their appearance, intelligence or achievements – they need reassurance that they’re the best.

They might even put others down to make themselves look better in comparison.

4) They’re overly competitive

Whether it’s a casual game night or a workplace project, low-key narcissists have a need to always be on top.

They view every situation as a competition and will go to great lengths to ensure they come out as the winner.

They often have a hard time accepting defeat.

In cases where they do lose, they may resort to excuses or even subtly undermine the winner’s achievements.

This constant need to outshine others can be exhausting, especially when you’re just trying to enjoy a friendly game or work collaboratively on a project.

5) They struggle to accept criticism

Criticism, even constructive, can be a hard pill to swallow for a low-key narcissist.

They often perceive it as a personal attack and respond defensively, or sometimes with anger.

Instead of using criticism as an opportunity for self-improvement, they may deflect blame onto someone else or dismiss the criticism entirely.

They’re more concerned with preserving their self-image than learning from their mistakes.

If you’ve noticed someone in your life who reacts negatively to even the gentlest of feedback, it’s possible you’re dealing with a low-key narcissist.

6) They rarely show genuine vulnerability

We all have fears, doubts and insecurities. Sharing these with others builds trust and deepens our connections.

However, a low-key narcissist is often guarded when it comes to showing genuine vulnerability.

They see it as a sign of weakness that could tarnish their carefully cultivated image of superiority.

Instead of opening up, they may project a facade of confidence and perfection.

This lack of emotional depth can make it difficult to form a genuine, heartfelt relationship with them.

7) They have a sense of entitlement

When I was planning a group trip once, I noticed one of my friends always expected the best – the best room, the best seat in the car, the first choice of everything.

Low-key narcissists often have an inflated sense of entitlement. They believe they deserve special treatment or that the usual rules don’t apply to them.

This can manifest in small ways like always expecting to get their way, or in larger ways like disregarding other people’s boundaries or feelings.

8) They manipulate situations to their advantage

Low-key narcissists are masters of manipulation. They can twist situations or facts to suit their narrative, often playing the victim or portraying themselves as the hero.

They might use guilt trips, emotional blackmail, or even flattery to get what they want. It’s a way of maintaining control and ensuring things always go in their favor.

This manipulation can be subtle and difficult to recognize at first. But once you see it, it’s hard to unsee.

9) They lack genuine empathy

At the heart of narcissism, even the low-key kind, is a lack of genuine empathy. They struggle to feel happy for others’ successes or share in their sorrows. Their world revolves around their feelings, needs, and experiences.

If someone consistently shows indifference or insensitivity towards your emotions or experiences, it’s a red flag.

It’s possibly the most telling sign that you’re dealing with a low-key narcissist.

10) They’re masters of subtle put-downs

Ever been in a conversation where someone throws in a comment that’s sort of like a compliment, but actually feels like a dig? That’s a classic move of a low-key narcissist.

They are experts in delivering these subtle put-downs, often masked as jokes or casual remarks.

These comments are designed to undermine your confidence while not being overtly hostile.

For instance, you might share a success story, and they’ll respond with something like, “Wow, I’m surprised you managed that!”

It sounds like a compliment, but there’s an underlying message that they didn’t expect much from you.

These subtle jabs can be confusing and hurtful. They might make you question your abilities or feel like you’re always under scrutiny.

Final thoughts: It’s not personal

The reality of dealing with a low-key narcissist can be both challenging and disheartening. It’s important to remember, however, that their behavior often stems from deep-seated insecurity, not inherently malicious intent.

Despite their outward display of confidence and superiority, they may be grappling with feelings of inadequacy and fear of rejection.

Understanding this can help us navigate our relationships with them more effectively. It might involve setting clear boundaries or seeking professional help.

While it’s not our job to fix them, having a basic understanding of their behavior can empower us to manage our interactions better.

In the end, remember that it’s okay to protect your own mental and emotional wellbeing. You matter too.