There’s a big gap between being happy and fearing happiness.

It sounds odd, right? Who would be scared of feeling good, of being content? But surprisingly, some of us are. This fear often lurks in the shadows, a low-key terror that we don’t even recognize.

So why would anyone be afraid of happiness? It’s complicated. Sometimes, it comes from fearing that happiness is fleeting, that it’ll vanish as soon as we grasp it. Other times, we might think we don’t deserve to feel joy.

Are you one of these people? You might be, without even realizing it. I’ve got 8 signs that might help you figure it out.

1) You self-sabotage

We’ve all been there. You’re on the verge of achieving something great, something you’ve yearned for. But then, just as it’s within your grasp, you find a way to mess it up.

This is what self-sabotage looks like, and it’s a classic sign that you might be afraid of happiness.

When we’re scared of being happy, we often subconsciously create obstacles to prevent us from reaching that state. We might procrastinate, pick fights, or make poor decisions. This isn’t because we’re bad people or inherently self-destructive. It’s often because we’re terrified of what happens when we actually get what we want.

Why? Because happiness can feel unknown and unfamiliar. And the unknown can be scary.

So we stick to what we know, even if that means staying stuck in less than satisfying situations.

If you find yourself repeatedly undermining your own success at the last moment, it might be a sign that you’re low-key afraid of actually being happy. 

2) You feel uncomfortable when things go well

I remember it clearly. I had just finished a successful project at work, received heaps of praise from my boss, and was feeling on top of the world. But then, a strange unease crept in. Instead of basking in the success, I found myself feeling anxious, waiting for the other shoe to drop.

That’s another sign you might be afraid of happiness – you feel uncomfortable when things are going well.

If you’re anything like me, you might find yourself not trusting the good times, anticipating that something will inevitably go wrong. It’s like living with a constant sense of impending doom.

This fear often stems from a belief that happiness is transient and that any joy we experience is bound to be followed by disappointment or disaster.

But here’s the thing – life is full of ups and downs.

And while it’s true that no state is permanent, fearing the end of happiness only robs us of the joy we could be experiencing in the present moment.

3) You have a high tolerance for discomfort

Being able to put up with discomfort can be a strength. It can help us push through challenges and come out stronger on the other side.

But sometimes, we can take it too far.

If you find yourself constantly enduring situations that make you unhappy or uncomfortable, without making any efforts to change them, it might be a sign that you’re afraid of happiness.

You might think you don’t deserve better, or perhaps you’ve convinced yourself that this is as good as it gets. Or maybe, deep down, you’re just more comfortable with discomfort because it’s what you know. It’s familiar.

But here’s the thing – you deserve to be happy. And while change can be scary, staying stuck in a cycle of unhappiness can be even scarier.

4) You’re constantly waiting for the worst

Do you find yourself always bracing for the worst, even when everything seems to be going well?

This is known as catastrophizing, and it’s a common sign of fearing happiness.

When you’re constantly expecting disaster, it can be hard to fully embrace happiness. After all, why let yourself feel good when you’re convinced it’s going to be ripped away at any moment?

This mindset often comes from a place of self-protection. If you’re always expecting the worst, then you can’t be caught off guard, right?

But while this might offer a sense of security, it also prevents you from fully experiencing joy and happiness.

So if you’re always on high alert for disaster, take a moment to consider why.

Could it be that you’re low-key afraid of being happy?

5) You struggle to accept compliments

It’s a beautiful thing to be recognized for our achievements, for our qualities, for who we are.

But for some of us, accepting compliments can feel incredibly uncomfortable.

This might seem like a small thing, but it’s deeply connected to how we view ourselves and our right to happiness. If you struggle to accept compliments, it might be because you don’t believe you deserve them.

And if you don’t believe you’re worthy of praise, it’s likely you also struggle to believe you deserve happiness.

Imagine a friend tells you that you’re kind, or smart, or talented. How do you respond? If your immediate reaction is to downplay or dismiss the compliment, this might suggest a deeper discomfort with acknowledging your own worth.

Remember, it’s okay to accept praise. It’s okay to acknowledge your strengths and achievements.

And most importantly, it’s more than okay to allow yourself to feel happy. 

6) You feel guilty for being happy

I remember a time when someone close to me was going through a tough phase.

Meanwhile, things were going well for me – I was enjoying my work, my relationships were thriving, and I was in a good place emotionally. But I found myself feeling guilty for being happy, considering the struggles they were dealing with.

Feeling guilty for experiencing happiness, especially when others are suffering, is another sign that you might be afraid of being happy.

It’s as if you believe there’s a finite amount of happiness in the world and by claiming your share, you’re depriving someone else of theirs.

But here’s the truth – your happiness doesn’t take away from anyone else’s. Everyone is on their own journey, with their own ups and downs. Your joy isn’t responsible for someone else’s pain.

If you find yourself feeling guilty or uncomfortable when you’re happy, it’s worth exploring why that might be.

7) You downplay your achievements

Do you tend to brush off your accomplishments, no matter how big or small? It’s possible that you’re doing this because you’re uncomfortable with the happiness that comes from acknowledging your successes.

Downplaying your achievements is a way of denying yourself the joy and satisfaction that comes from recognizing and celebrating your hard work. It can also be a sign that you don’t believe you deserve to be happy or successful.

This can manifest in different ways.

Maybe you attribute your successes to luck rather than your own efforts. Or perhaps when someone congratulates you on an achievement, you deflect the praise or quickly change the subject.

If this sounds like you, it’s worth pausing to reflect. Why are you uncomfortable acknowledging your successes? Could it be that you’re low-key afraid of the happiness that comes from recognizing your achievements?

8) You avoid close relationships

At the heart of human experience is our need for connection. We’re wired to build close relationships.

But for some of us, the thought of forming deep, intimate connections with others can be terrifying.

This avoidance often stems from a fear of vulnerability. To truly connect with someone, we have to let our guard down, reveal our true selves, and that includes our happiness.

If you’re afraid of happiness, forming close relationships can feel like a threat.

Avoiding close relationships doesn’t just keep potential pain at bay, it also keeps joy at a distance.

After all, some of our deepest happiness comes from sharing our lives with those we care about.

Embracing the journey towards happiness

When we delve into the complexities of human emotions, we find that fear and happiness are often intertwined in fascinating ways.

Consider the concept of “eudaimonia”, a term originating from ancient Greek philosophy. It refers to a state of having a good indwelling spirit or being in a contented state of being healthy, happy and prosperous.

In our pursuit of eudaimonia, or true happiness, we may stumble upon fears and insecurities that hold us back. And one such fear might be the fear of happiness itself.

Recognizing these signs is not about labeling ourselves as flawed or broken. It’s about understanding our emotional patterns and how they might be affecting our pursuit of happiness. 

Facing this fear isn’t easy. It takes courage to confront these deeply ingrained beliefs and patterns.

But remember, it’s okay to be a work in progress.