There’s a vast gulf between a relationship that enriches your life and one that exhausts you. Trust me, I’ve been there.

The difference boils down to emotional energy. An emotionally draining relationship is one that leaves you feeling depleted, without really understanding why.

Spotting these relationships can be tricky, but knowing the signs can make a world of difference. And believe me, as the founder of the Love Connection blog, I’ve seen it all.

Here are the 8 indicators to keep an eye out for. Recognize them, and you might just realize your relationship is more tiring than you thought.

I’m Tina Fey, and I’m here to guide you through the intricacies of love and relationships. Let’s dive in.

1) Constant conflict

We all know that disagreements are a normal part of any relationship – nobody agrees on everything all the time.

But when you find yourself constantly in the midst of conflict, it’s a different story.

A relationship should be a source of support and comfort, not a continuous battleground. If you’re always arguing or fighting, it can quickly become mentally and emotionally exhausting.

The key here is balance. It’s normal to have disagreements, but it’s not normal for those disagreements to dominate your relationship.

As a relationship expert, I’ve seen how consistent conflict can drain the joy out of a relationship. So if you find yourself always at war with your partner, it may be time to take a step back and evaluate what’s really going on.

2) You’re always the one compromising

Compromise is a vital part of any relationship. It’s a give-and-take process that allows two people to meet in the middle.

But here’s the thing – it has to be mutual.

In my years of experience in relationship guidance, I’ve seen many instances where one person is always the one making sacrifices. If you’re always the one bending over backwards to accommodate your partner, it could be a sign that your relationship is draining you emotionally.

Remember, it’s important to find a balance where both partners compromise equally.

3) You’re losing your sense of self

In a healthy relationship, both partners should be able to maintain their individuality. Your interests, your passions, your dreams – they matter.

But if you find yourself gradually losing your sense of self, it’s a red flag.

I’ve encountered countless individuals who’ve faded into the background of their own lives because they’ve become so engulfed in their partner’s world. It’s one of the most heartbreaking things to witness.

In my book, Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship, I talk about how important it is to maintain your own identity in a relationship. If you want to check out my book, you find it on Amazon here.

You should never feel like you’re disappearing in your own relationship.

4) You feel relieved when they’re not around

Here’s something you might not expect: feeling relief when your partner is away.

It seems counterintuitive, doesn’t it? Shouldn’t we miss our partners when they’re not around?

In healthy relationships, yes. But in emotionally draining ones, their absence can feel like a much-needed break.

If you find yourself feeling lighter and more relaxed when your partner isn’t around, it’s a sign that their presence might be causing you more stress than comfort.

Remember, being in love should make you feel good. If relief is what you’re feeling during their absence, it might be time to reassess the relationship.

5) You’re constantly walking on eggshells

Here’s something that I’ve personally experienced, and trust me, it’s no fun.

When you’re constantly tiptoeing around your partner, trying to avoid any potential conflict or upset, it’s a clear sign that your relationship is emotionally draining.

In a healthy relationship, you should feel free to express your thoughts and feelings without fear of backlash.

But when every conversation feels like a potential minefield, it can be incredibly exhausting.

6) You’re unhappy more often than not

Let’s be brutally honest here. If your relationship is causing you more pain than happiness, it’s a sign that it’s emotionally draining you.

Love is supposed to uplift you, not weigh you down.

Sure, no relationship is perfect. There will be ups and downs. But if the downs are consistently outweighing the ups, it’s time to take notice.

Life is too short to be unhappy most of the time. You deserve a relationship that brings joy and fulfillment into your life, not one that drains all your emotional energy.

7) You’re neglecting your own needs

In the early stages of my career, I noticed a recurring pattern among the individuals I was helping – they were often neglecting their own needs in their relationships.

If you’re constantly putting your partner’s needs and wants before your own, it’s a clear sign that your relationship is emotionally draining you.

Never forget that in a healthy relationship, both partners’ needs should be equally valued and respected.

8) You feel trapped

Let’s get real here. If you feel trapped in your relationship, it’s a glaring sign that it’s emotionally draining you.

A relationship should feel like a partnership, not a prison. You should feel free to be yourself and to grow as an individual, not shackled or stifled.

If you’re staying in the relationship out of fear, obligation or guilt rather than love and happiness, it’s time to take a hard look at things.

Remember, you deserve freedom and happiness in your relationships. Don’t let anyone or anything hold you captive. Life is too short for that.

Final thoughts

Recognizing these signs can be tough, but it’s the first step towards reclaiming your emotional health.

If your relationship is draining you, it’s crucial to address these issues. Remember, you deserve a relationship that brings you happiness and fulfillment, not one that leaves you feeling exhausted.

For more guidance on how to navigate these tough situations, I invite you to check out my book Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship.