Let’s be honest, relationships can be tricky. But they should never involve manipulation or deceit, like the term ‘gaslighting’ suggests.

We all know what it feels like to be in a relationship where something just doesn’t sit right. You feel off balance, things don’t add up and you start questioning your own sanity.

This, my friend, is what we call ‘gaslighting’. It’s a manipulative tactic used to gain power and control. And it’s more common than you might think.

I’m going to share with you 7 signs that indicate you’ve probably experienced gaslighting in a relationship.

1) You constantly second-guess yourself

Let’s start with one of the most insidious signs of gaslighting – constant self-doubt.

Imagine this. You’re in a relationship where you find yourself constantly questioning your own thoughts, feelings, and even your sanity. Your partner makes you feel like you’re always wrong, or that you’re overreacting for simply expressing your emotions.

This, my friend, is a classic sign of gaslighting.

It’s like living in a fog of confusion and uncertainty. You end up doubting your own perception of reality because your partner has twisted it to suit their narrative.

Remember, everyone has a right to their own feelings and perceptions. If someone is making you question yours all the time, it might be a sign that you’re being gaslighted.

2) They deny things you know happened

I’ll never forget the time when I experienced this one firsthand.

We’d had a heated argument, and I distinctly remember my partner making a hurtful comment about my family. However, when I confronted him about it the next day, he flatly denied ever saying it.

At first, I thought maybe I’d misheard or misunderstood him. But then it happened again. And again.

He would say things and later deny them, insisting I was imagining things or making stuff up. It was like he was trying to erase my memory or make me believe that I was losing my mind.

This is another classic gaslighting move – denying events or statements that you know for a fact happened. It’s a manipulative tactic designed to make you question your own memory and judgment.

So if you find yourself in a similar situation where your partner consistently denies saying or doing things that you clearly remember, take note. It’s a clear sign of gaslighting and it’s not something you should ignore.

3) They use your insecurities against you

This is an extremely common tactic in gaslighting. Your partner knows you and, unfortunately, they know your insecurities too.

In a healthy relationship, our partners support us and help us overcome our insecurities. However, a gaslighter uses these insecurities as ammunition to undermine and control you.

For instance, if you’re insecure about your body image, they might subtly comment on your weight or eating habits. Or if you’re self-conscious about your intelligence, they might make constant jabs about your ideas being silly or impractical.

According to research, those who experienced psychological aggression, such as gaslighting, reported greater psychological distress and were more likely to have symptoms of depression.

So if you notice that your partner consistently brings up your insecurities in a demeaning or hurtful way, it could be a sign of gaslighting. It’s important to remember that everyone has insecurities and it’s not okay for someone to exploit them for their own gain.

4) They isolate you from your support system

Gaslighters often resort to a classic manipulative tactic: isolation. They’ll try to cut you off from your friends and family, often under the guise of love or concern.

For example, they might say things like, “I just want us to spend more time together” or “Your friends don’t really understand our relationship.” They might even spread rumors or create conflicts to drive a wedge between you and your loved ones.

Why do they do this? It’s simple. By isolating you, they make you more dependent on them, both emotionally and psychologically. It’s easier to control someone who feels alone and has no one else to turn to.

So if you notice that your partner is trying to separate you from your support system, it’s a red flag. 

5) They trivialize your feelings and experiences

I remember a time when I was going through a particularly rough patch at work. I was stressed, anxious, and desperately needed someone to lean on.

But instead of providing comfort, my partner would brush off my concerns saying things like “You’re making a big deal out of nothing” or “You’re just too sensitive.”

I started feeling like my feelings didn’t matter, that they were unimportant, trivial. It felt like everything I went through was minimized or dismissed. It was as if I was overreacting to everything and anything.

This is another sign of gaslighting – trivializing your feelings and experiences. A gaslighter will make you feel like your emotions are invalid or excessive, which can be incredibly damaging to your self-esteem and mental health.

6) They project their behavior onto you

Projection is a common tactic used by gaslighters. Essentially, they accuse you of the very things they’re guilty of doing themselves.

For instance, if they’re being unfaithful, they might start accusing you of infidelity without any basis. If they’re the ones lying, they’ll accuse you of being dishonest.

This kind of projection serves two purposes. First, it diverts your attention from their actions and puts you on the defensive. Second, it causes confusion and makes you question your own behavior and motives.

So if your partner is constantly accusing you of things you haven’t done or behaviors that don’t align with who you are, take a step back. It could be that they’re projecting their own actions onto you, and that’s a classic sign of gaslighting.

7) They tell you everyone else is lying

This is perhaps one of the most damaging aspects of gaslighting. A gaslighter will often try to convince you that everyone else – your friends, your family, even the media – is lying to you.

The aim is to make you distrust everyone else so that they become your only source of “truth.” This further isolates you and makes it easier for them to control and manipulate your perception of reality.

If you find that your partner is constantly telling you that everyone else is lying or not to be trusted, please take heed. This is a major red flag and a clear sign of gaslighting. Trust your instincts and seek help if you need it. You’re not alone, and there are resources available to support you.