Healing from childhood wounds is a journey, one that I’ve walked many miles on. You probably have too.

You’ve done your best to move on, to grow, to heal. But sometimes, it’s like trying to ascend a mountain with your feet stuck in clay.

It can be frustrating. It can feel impossible.

Often, it’s not even about the big, traumatic events. It’s those little habits we’ve picked up along the way that keep us anchored to our past and prevent us from truly healing.

In my journey, I’ve discovered that saying goodbye to certain behaviors, certain patterns, is a crucial part of moving forward. And it’s time I shared that wisdom with you.

Here’s how to identify the seven habits that are holding you back from healing your childhood wounds. Brace yourself – it’s going to be an enlightening ride.

1) Holding onto blame

Blame is a heavy weight, one that I’ve carried around for years. You might have been doing the same. We often blame ourselves – or others – for the hurts we experienced in our childhood.

It’s a natural reaction, but it’s also an anchor that keeps us stuck in our past.

I’ve learned, sometimes painfully, that letting go of blame is a major step towards healing.

It’s not about condoning wrongdoings or forgetting what happened. It’s about releasing yourself from the cycle of blame and guilt that keeps feeding your wounds.

If you’re still holding onto blame, it might be time to say goodbye to this habit. It’s not easy, but I promise you, it’s worth it. Healing starts when you stop blaming and start forgiving – yourself and others.

2) Dwelling on the past

Dwelling on the past is another habit that I’ve had to learn to break. It’s like replaying an old movie over and over again. Except this movie doesn’t bring joy, it only brings pain and sadness.

I remember a time when I used to get stuck in my past. I would spend hours thinking about the ‘what ifs’ and ‘if onlys’.

But, let me tell you, this only kept me shackled to my wounds. It prevented me from moving forward, from healing.

One day, I decided to stop. I realized that dwelling on past events that I couldn’t change was not helping me. Instead, it was keeping me stuck in a cycle of pain and regret.

Breaking this habit was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. But it was also one of the most liberating.

Dwelling on the past is like living in a prison of your own making. It’s time to unlock the door and step into the present. It’s time to heal.

3) Neglecting self-care

When childhood wounds go unhealed, one of the first things to suffer is self-care.

People who’ve experienced emotional pain early in life often grow up believing that their needs aren’t a priority.

Maybe they were taught to “be strong” or “put others first,” and as a result, they learned to downplay their own well-being.

Over time, this turns into a habit of neglecting self-care — physically, emotionally, and mentally.

Self-care is about recognizing that your needs matter just as much as anyone else’s.

If you’re constantly pushing yourself to exhaustion, ignoring your mental health, or brushing off your own feelings, you’re reinforcing the belief that you aren’t worthy of care.

This belief is often rooted in childhood experiences where love or attention had to be “earned” through good behavior, achievements, or self-sacrifice.

Breaking this habit starts with one simple realization: you don’t have to earn the right to rest, peace, or self-compassion. You’re worthy of it just by being human.

Self-care can be as simple as setting boundaries, saying no without guilt, or giving yourself permission to rest when you’re tired.

When you prioritize your well-being, you’re actively healing the part of you that was taught to put yourself last. 

4) Suppressing emotions

Did you know that when we suppress our emotions, they don’t just disappear? Instead, they get stored in our bodies, creating tension and discomfort.

I used to be a master at suppressing my emotions. I believed that if I didn’t feel them, they couldn’t hurt me.

But the truth is, they were still there, creating havoc in my body and mind. I was often tense, anxious, and felt a constant sense of unease.

The day I learned about the effects of suppressed emotions was the day I decided to make a change.

I started to allow myself to feel my emotions, no matter how painful they were. It was scary at first, but it also brought a sense of relief.

Suppressing emotions is not the way to healing. It’s a habit we need to say goodbye to if we truly want to heal our childhood wounds. It’s time to let our emotions be seen, felt, and acknowledged.

5) Avoiding vulnerability

Being vulnerable feels scary. It’s like standing naked in a room full of people. But it’s also one of the most liberating things you can do.

For people with childhood wounds, vulnerability can feel especially dangerous.

If you grew up in an environment where your feelings were dismissed, criticized, or used against you, it makes sense that you’d avoid opening up as an adult.

You might fear being judged, rejected, or seen as “weak.” So, instead, you put up walls, keep conversations surface-level, and present a “strong” front to the world.

But those walls that protect you from pain also block you from experiencing genuine love, connection, and healing.

The truth is, vulnerability isn’t weakness — it’s bravery in its rawest form. It’s the courage to say, “This is who I am, flaws and all,” and trust that the right people will accept you.

Letting go of the habit of avoiding vulnerability means learning to sit with discomfort and trust that not everyone will hurt you.

It’s a slow process, but every time you allow yourself to be seen, you reclaim the parts of yourself that you once had to hide. And that’s where true healing begins.

6) Living in denial

Denial can be a comforting blanket, shielding us from the harsh realities of our past. But it’s also a barrier that prevents us from truly healing.

For a long time, I lived in denial. I refused to acknowledge the extent of my childhood wounds, convinced that if I ignored them, they would just disappear.

But they didn’t. They festered, growing bigger and more painful with each passing day.

The day I decided to face my truth was the day I started to heal. It was painful, terrifying even. But it was also freeing.

If you’re living in denial, it might be time to say goodbye to this habit. Healing comes from facing our truth, acknowledging our pain, and taking steps towards recovery.

7) Not seeking help

There’s a saying that goes, “No man is an island.” We’re social creatures, and we’re not meant to navigate this life alone.

I used to think that seeking help was a sign of weakness. That it meant I was incapable or incompetent. But I couldn’t have been more wrong.

Seeking help was one of the bravest things I’ve ever done. It was an acknowledgement of my pain, a declaration that I was ready to heal.

Professional help, like therapists or counselors, can provide valuable tools and insights to aid in your healing process.

But it doesn’t stop there – reaching out to friends, family, or support groups can also make a world of difference.

If you’ve been trying to navigate your healing journey alone, it might be time to say goodbye to this habit. Seeking help is not a sign of weakness; it’s a sign of strength.

It’s an acknowledgement that you value yourself enough to seek the support you need.

Don’t let pride or fear keep you from reaching out. Remember, it’s okay to ask for help. In fact, it’s more than okay – it’s necessary on your path to healing.

Embracing the journey

If you’ve found yourself recognizing these habits, it’s okay. We’ve all picked up habits that don’t serve us well. The important thing is recognizing them and taking steps to change.

Start by becoming aware of your habits. Notice when you’re blaming yourself or others, dwelling on the past, or suppressing your emotions. Once you spot these habits, begin to challenge them.

Ask yourself – is this habit serving me? Is it helping me heal or is it holding me back? Am I ready to let it go?

The answers may not come easily, and that’s okay. Healing is a process, and it takes time.

Don’t be hard on yourself if you stumble along the way. Be patient and kind to yourself. Celebrate each small victory, each step you take towards healing.

And remember – you don’t have to do this alone. Seek help when you need it. Reach out to friends, family, or professionals.

So take a deep breath, say goodbye to these habits, and step into your healing. You’ve got this.