If you really want to stay true to yourself, say goodbye to these 9 behaviors

Mia Zhang by Mia Zhang | January 9, 2024, 10:13 pm

Staying true to yourself isn’t always easy. Sometimes, we unknowingly adopt behaviors that mask our true identity.

The key is recognizing these behaviors and having the courage to say goodbye to them.

If you’re really serious about staying authentic, there are certain habits you need to kick to the curb.

Don’t worry, it’s simpler than it sounds. Let’s dive in!

1) Being a people pleaser

Many of us fall into the trap of becoming people pleasers.

It’s easy to do. We all want to be liked, after all. And it seems like the quickest way to achieve that is to always agree, always accommodate, and always put others’ needs before our own.

But let’s take a second to think about it. Is this behavior helping us stay true to ourselves?

The answer is no. When you’re a people pleaser, you suppress your own needs and desires. Your decisions are based on what others want, not what you actually feel or believe.

Staying true to yourself means making decisions that align with your values and beliefs, not someone else’s.

2) Comparing yourself to others

I used to find myself comparing my life to those of others, especially on social media. I’d see pictures of my friends on exotic vacations, achieving career milestones, or even just having an amazing Saturday night out.

Each time, I’d ask myself, “Why isn’t my life like that?”

It took a while, but I finally realized that these comparisons were doing more harm than good. They were distorting my perception of myself and my own life.

The truth is, everyone has their own journey and their own pace. What we see on social media is often a highlight reel and not the full story.

That’s why I made a conscious effort to stop comparing myself to others. And let me tell you, it felt like a weight was lifted off my shoulders.

3) Ignoring your intuition

Our intuition, that little voice in our head, can be surprisingly accurate. It’s our brain’s way of processing information faster than we consciously can.

Yet, many of us tend to ignore it. We either don’t trust ourselves enough or we let fear and doubt cloud our judgment.

But here’s the thing – a study published in the journal Psychological Science found that individuals who trusted their intuition were more likely to make better decisions than those who didn’t.

4) Chasing perfection

Perfection is an illusion. Yet, many of us spend countless hours trying to reach this unreachable standard.

We obsess over tiny details, we lose sleep over minor mistakes, and we beat ourselves up if everything isn’t just right.

But chasing perfection isn’t just exhausting, it’s also a barrier to authenticity.

When you’re fixated on being perfect, you’re not accepting yourself as you truly are – flaws and all. You’re constantly trying to present an image that isn’t real.

It’s our flaws and mistakes that make us human and unique. Embracing them is a crucial step towards staying true to yourself.

So let go of the perfectionism. Embrace the messy, the imperfect, and the real. It’s a lot more satisfying, trust me.

5) Living in the past or future

It’s easy to get caught up in the ‘what ifs’ of the past or the ‘maybes’ of the future. We replay past mistakes over and over again, or worry about what tomorrow might bring.

But in doing so, we miss out on the only moment we truly have – the present.

Living in the past or future prevents us from fully embracing who we are right now. It keeps us stuck in a cycle of regret and anxiety, rather than acceptance and growth.

6) Suppressing your emotions

How many times have you heard the phrase, “Just suck it up,” or, “Don’t be so sensitive”?

We live in a society that often encourages us to hide our true feelings, to put on a brave face no matter what. But this is neither healthy nor authentic.

Your emotions are a part of who you are. They’re your body’s natural response to what’s happening around you.

Suppressing them doesn’t make them go away; it only pushes them down where they can fester and cause more harm.

Staying true to yourself means acknowledging your feelings, both good and bad. It’s okay to feel sad, angry, or scared.

These emotions don’t make you weak; they make you human.

So let yourself feel. It’s one of the most authentic things you can do.

7) Seeking external validation

I remember a time when I couldn’t make a decision without first asking everyone around me for their opinions.

What should I wear? Where should I apply for a job? Should I accept this invitation or not?

I was so reliant on others’ approval that I lost touch with what I truly wanted. It was as if I couldn’t trust my own judgment.

But here’s the thing – it’s your life. You’re the one who has to live with your decisions, not anyone else.

While there’s nothing wrong with seeking advice, it becomes a problem when you can’t make a move without someone else’s stamp of approval.

8) Prioritizing others’ needs over your own

It’s great to be considerate and caring. But if you’re constantly putting everyone else’s needs before your own, you’re heading towards burnout and losing sight of your own identity.

This is not about becoming selfish or unkind. It’s about understanding that it’s okay, and necessary, to take care of yourself too.

Self-care is not selfish. It’s an act of self-respect.

If you’re in the habit of always putting others first, try to make a change. Start small. Set aside some time for your own needs and interests each day.

Believe me, it’s okay to prioritize yourself. In fact, it’s crucial for staying true to yourself.

9) Ignoring your dreams and passions

Your dreams and passions are what make you, you. They are the essence of your authentic self.

Ignoring them or pushing them aside to fit into societal norms or to please others is one of the surest ways to lose touch with who you truly are.

Pursuing your passions and dreams, on the other hand, connects you with your true self. It fills your life with joy and purpose.

So don’t ignore what makes your heart sing. Embrace it. Pursue it. It’s the key to staying true to yourself.

Final thoughts: It’s a journey

Staying true to yourself is not a destination, but a journey.

It’s about embracing who you are at the core – your values, your passions, your dreams.

It’s about choosing authenticity over conformity, even when it’s inconvenient or uncomfortable.

It takes courage to say goodbye to the behaviors that hold you back from being true to yourself.

But with each step you take, you’ll find that the journey, while challenging at times, is incredibly rewarding.

As Oscar Wilde once said, “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” So embrace your uniqueness.

Celebrate your individuality. And most importantly, stay true to yourself!