There’s a vast difference between merely existing and truly living a joyful life.

The distinction lies in the power of choice. It’s all about understanding what to welcome into your life, and more importantly, what to firmly say no to.

Living a joyful life means you have the power to decide what you allow into your space. And believe me, there are certain things that we simply must start saying no to.

Here are nine things you should consider rejecting if you genuinely want to live a life filled with joy.

1) Negative self-talk

We all have a constant inner monologue going on and it’s more impactful than you might realize.

It’s that little voice in your head, the one that overthinks, doubts, and criticizes. It’s the voice that tells you you’re not good enough, not smart enough, not attractive enough.

This is what we call negative self-talk.

Negative self-talk is a sabotaging act that clouds your mind with unnecessary doubt and fear. It’s an energy drainer and joy killer.

Consider this: would you ever speak to a friend the way you speak to yourself internally?

Probably not. So why allow such negativity in your own headspace?

Start saying no to negative self-talk if you truly want to live a joyful life.

Your thoughts shape your reality. Positive thinking leads to a positive life. But don’t just take my word for it, give it a try for yourself and see the difference it makes.

But remember, honesty is still important when speaking to yourself. Don’t lie to yourself, but do stay positive and give yourself the benefit of the doubt when possible.

2) Overcommitment

I learned this lesson the hard way.

There was a time when I would say yes to everything. Extra assignments at work? Sure. Helping a friend move on my day off? Absolutely. Volunteering for another committee? Why not.

I thought I was being helpful, responsible, and productive. But, in reality, I was just overcommitting myself.

Over time, this led to burnout. I was physically exhausted, emotionally drained, and had no time left for the things that truly brought me joy.

That’s when I realized that saying yes to everything meant saying no to my own well-being.

Learning to say no was a game changer for me. It allowed me to regain control over my time and energy. It gave me the freedom to prioritize my needs and focus on what truly mattered to me.

If you’re like how I used to be, always trying to please everyone else at the expense of your own happiness, start saying no to overcommitment. It might be difficult at first, but trust me, you’ll thank yourself later.

3) Constant comparison

In the age of social media, it’s easy to fall into the trap of comparing ourselves to others. We scroll through our feeds, looking at everyone’s seemingly perfect lives and we can’t help but feel inadequate.

But here’s something you might not know: according to a study published in the Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology, there’s a direct link between time spent on social media and negative body image and depression.

Constant comparison can rob us of our joy and self-esteem. It’s a never-ending cycle because there will always be someone who seems to have more.

Instead, focus on your own progress and goals. Celebrate your achievements, no matter how small they may seem. Remember that everyone’s journey is different, and that’s okay.

To live a truly joyful life, start saying no to constant comparison with others. Your mental health will thank you for it.

4) Perfectionism

Perfectionism is an enemy of joy. It’s a thief that robs us of the satisfaction we should feel from our accomplishments.

Instead of celebrating our progress, perfectionism keeps us focused on our shortcomings. It’s a constant chase for something unattainable, and it can lead to stress, anxiety, and even depression.

Perfection is an illusion. The reality is, we all make mistakes, and that’s perfectly okay. Mistakes are opportunities to learn and grow.

So start saying no to perfectionism. Embrace your flaws, learn from your mistakes, and don’t be too hard on yourself.

Life is too short to spend it striving for perfection. Instead, strive for growth and happiness. You’ll find much more joy in this approach to life.

5) Living in the past

We all have a past, and for some of us, it’s filled with regrets, mistakes, and heartaches.

But dwelling on those past experiences doesn’t change them. Instead, it steals our joy in the present.

Living in the past can make you feel stuck, unable to move forward and enjoy life as it is now. It can cast a shadow over your current achievements and future ambitions.

You can’t change the past, but you can decide how it affects your present and future. So start saying no to living in the past.

Choose to forgive yourself for your past mistakes, learn from them, and then let them go. Your past has shaped you into who you are today, but it doesn’t define you.

Remember that each new day brings new opportunities for joy and growth. Live in the present and look forward to the future.

6) Toxic relationships

Life is too precious to be spent around people who drain your energy and joy.

Toxic relationships can come in many forms – it could be a friend who’s always negative, a family member who never supports you, or a partner who doesn’t treat you with respect.

These relationships can leave you feeling stressed, drained, and unhappy. They create an environment that is not conducive to growth and joy.

It’s not always easy to say no to these relationships, especially when they involve people we care about. But for the sake of your happiness and mental health, it’s necessary.

Start saying no to toxic relationships. Surround yourself with people who lift you up, inspire you, and make you want to be the best version of yourself.

You deserve to be treated with love and respect. You are worthy of happiness and joy. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

7) Fear of failure

I used to be paralyzed by the fear of failure. It held me back from taking risks and chasing my dreams. I was always worried about what others would think if I failed, so I played it safe and stayed in my comfort zone.

But I soon realized that this fear was keeping me from living a joyful life. Instead of growing and learning, I was stagnating.

Failure is not the end of the world. In fact, it’s an essential part of success. Each failure brings us one step closer to our goals. It teaches us what doesn’t work and pushes us to find what does.

So, I started saying no to my fear of failure. It wasn’t easy, but it was worth it.

And you know what? Some of my biggest failures have led to my greatest successes.

Start saying no to your fear of failure. Embrace it as a part of your journey and use it as a stepping stone towards your success. Your joy in life will increase when you’re not held back by fear.

8) Neglecting self-care

In our busy lives, self-care often falls to the bottom of our priority list. We’re so focused on work, family, and other responsibilities that we forget to take care of ourselves.

But neglecting self-care is a surefire way to drain your joy. It can lead to burnout, stress, and a decline in physical and mental health.

Self-care is not a luxury; it’s a necessity. It’s about taking the time to do things that nourish your body, mind, and soul.

So start saying no to neglecting self-care. Make time for yourself, even if it’s just a few minutes each day. It could be as simple as reading a book, going for a walk, or even taking a nap.

You can’t pour from an empty cup. Taking care of yourself allows you to show up as your best self in all areas of your life.

9) Ignoring your passions

Passion is what gives life its flavor. It’s the spark that lights up your soul and brings you genuine joy. Ignoring your passions is like denying a part of who you are.

Life is not just about fulfilling responsibilities and meeting expectations. It’s also about chasing your dreams and doing what makes you truly happy.

So start saying no to ignoring your passions. Embrace them, nurture them, and make time for them.

Your passions are a part of you, a very important part that deserves to be acknowledged and expressed. Don’t deny yourself the joy that comes from doing what you love.

Final thoughts: The power is yours

The essence of living a joyful life hinges on the understanding that you have the power to choose. To choose what influences your life and what doesn’t.

Each decision you make, each thing you say no to, is a step towards a life filled with more joy and less stress, more growth and less stagnation, more self-love and less self-doubt.

Remember, it’s not about saying no to everything. It’s about saying no to the things that rob you of your happiness and peace of mind.

So, as you navigate through life, bear in mind that the power to live a joyful life lies within you. The power to say no to negativity, fear, toxic relationships, and anything else that doesn’t serve your purpose or bring you joy.

The choice is yours. Choose joy.