If you really want to change your life, say goodbye to these 9 self-sabotaging behaviors

Mia Zhang by Mia Zhang | November 11, 2024, 7:15 pm

Change isn’t easy, but it’s necessary.

Especially when it comes to shedding self-sabotaging behaviors that are holding you back.

You see, we’re often our own worst enemy.

We develop habits that seem harmless at first but can gradually lead to our own downfall. This is something I’ve had to learn the hard way.

But to truly change your life, it’s essential to identify these behaviors and say goodbye to them. 

So, in this article, I’ll be revealing the 9 self-sabotaging behaviors you need to ditch if you’re serious about making a change. Let’s dive in:

1) Procrastination

Procrastination is more than just putting off tasks until the last minute.

It’s a self-sabotaging behavior that can lead to increased stress, poor performance, and ultimately, dissatisfaction with our own lives.

But often, to avoid discomfort or as a result of fear of failure, we choose instant gratification over long-term results.

In reality, though, we’re only setting ourselves up for failure.

So what’s the solution?

Start taking action.

Step by step.

Even the smallest progress can make a big difference. 

I’m not going to lie, making this change requires self-discipline and commitment.

But each time you switch off the TV to get a task done, you’ll find that it gets easier to beat procrastination.

2) Negative self-talk

For years, I was my own worst critic.

I would constantly belittle myself, always focusing on my failures rather than my successes.

“I can’t do this,” “I’m not good enough,” “I’ll never succeed” – these were the phrases that dominated my thoughts.

And let me tell you, negative self-talk is a sneaky self-sabotaging behavior.

It slowly chips away at your self-esteem, making you doubt your abilities and worth.

Before you know it, you’re stuck in a cycle of self-destruction.

The turning point for me was when I realized that the words I used to talk to myself mattered.

They shaped my reality.

So, I made a conscious decision to replace negative thoughts with positive affirmations.

Bit by bit, as I started changing the narrative in my head, I noticed a shift in my attitude and outlook.

So, if you’re stuck in a loop of negative self-talk, remember this – you have the power to change the conversation.

Start speaking to yourself with kindness and see how it transforms your life.

3) Fear of change

Here’s an intriguing thing – our brains are wired to resist change.

It’s a survival mechanism, designed to keep us in our comfort zones where it’s safe and predictable.

But what happens when staying in our comfort zones starts sabotaging our personal growth?

The truth is, it can prevent us from seizing new opportunities, pursuing our dreams, or breaking free from toxic situations.

It makes us stick to old, familiar patterns, even when they’re clearly not serving us well.

The key to overcoming this fear is recognizing that change is an integral part of life.

It’s how we grow and evolve.

Embracing change rather than fearing it can open up a whole new world of possibilities for us.

The point is, if you’re clinging on to your comfort zone, it might be time to let go.

Because sometimes, the only thing standing between you and your goals is the story you keep telling yourself about why you can’t achieve them.

4) Perfectionism

Perfectionism might sound like a good thing on the surface, after all, who wouldn’t want to strive for perfection?

But when you dig a little deeper, you’ll see that it’s actually a self-sabotaging behavior.

You see, perfectionism isn’t just about doing your best.

You’re essentially setting unrealistic standards and then beating yourself up when you don’t meet them.

And this can lead to anxiety, depression, and even paralysis – because you’re so afraid of making a mistake that you don’t take any action at all.

The reality is, nobody’s perfect.

We all make mistakes, and that’s how we learn and grow.

So instead of striving for perfection, strive for progress.

Celebrate your achievements, no matter how small they may seem.

And most importantly, be kind to yourself. 

5) Avoidance of responsibility

It’s easy to play the blame game.

To point fingers at others when things go wrong.

But the truth is, avoiding responsibility for our actions is a self-sabotaging behavior that can hinder our personal growth.

Here’s the thing:

When we blame others for our mistakes, we’re essentially giving away our power. We’re saying that we don’t have control over our own lives.

And that’s simply not true.

We have the power to shape our future, but it starts with owning up to our past and present actions.

It involves recognizing where we’ve gone wrong and making a conscious decision to do better.

But I get it, taking responsibility might seem daunting at first, but in the end, it’s incredibly liberating.

It empowers us to learn from our mistakes and to take control of our own destiny.

So if you’ve been avoiding responsibility, it’s time to step up. Because the only person who can change your life is you.

6) Living in the past

We all have chapters in our lives we wish we could rewrite.

Moments of regret, pain, or disappointment that linger in our minds long after they’ve passed.

But dwelling on the past can become a self-sabotaging behavior that prevents us from fully embracing the present and the future.

I realized this when my sweet kitten passed away a few months ago.

I spent weeks thinking about him and the short time we had together.

All the “what ifs” kept replaying through my mind. 

Until it dawned on me that I’m not embracing life anymore.

I was neglecting myself and those around me, including my two other cats who still needed my attention and love. 

The truth is, no matter how sad something was or how big we messed up, we can’t change what’s happened.

We can only learn from it.

And that involves acceptance – acknowledging our past without letting it define us.

But let me make one thing clear:

Letting go of the past isn’t about forgetting, it’s about finding peace. 

And once you’ve found peace, it’s so much easier to make positive changes in your life

7) Fear of failure

Fear of failure can be debilitating.

It can keep you from taking risks, trying new things, or pursuing your dreams.

It essentially convinces you that it’s better to stay safe than to risk failing.

But here’s what I’ve come to realize – failure isn’t the enemy.

In fact, and this might sound cheesy, it’s one of our greatest teachers.

Because every failure is an opportunity to learn, grow, and become stronger.

Take it from me, embracing this perspective can transform your life.

When you stop fearing it, there’s not much else holding you back from making those important changes in your life.

And if things don’t work out?

You become resilient. You learn to pick yourself up and try again. 

And one day, you’ll get it right and all those failures will have helped you get there. 

8) Avoidance of discomfort

Life isn’t always comfortable (as much as we’d like it to be!).

There will be times when we have to face difficult situations or make tough decisions.

But avoiding discomfort can turn into a self-sabotaging behavior that keeps us stuck in our comfort zones.

The thing about discomfort is that it often signals growth.

It’s a sign that we’re pushing our boundaries, challenging ourselves, and stepping out of our comfort zones.

Ultimately, avoiding discomfort means avoiding growth.

It keeps us stuck in the same place, unable to move forward.

So if there’s one thing you do today, embrace discomfort.

See it as something positive, not something to be feared.

You’ll be surprised at how much your life will change once you start exploring the unknown and welcoming new experiences. 

9) Lack of self-care

Above all, the most critical behavior to say goodbye to is neglecting self-care

A lot of people make the mistake of thinking self-care is just bubble baths and pampering yourself.

In reality, it’s making your well-being a priority. 

Start nourishing your mind, body, and soul. Set boundaries, say no when you need to, and take time out for yourself.

Here’s another of looking at it:

When you neglect self-care, you’re sending a message that you’re not important. And we all know that that’s simply not true.

You matter. Your well-being matters. And taking care of yourself isn’t a luxury; it’s a necessity.

Final thoughts

When it comes to self-sabotaging behaviors, understanding is key.

You’re not going to change overnight, but with little steps, every single day, you could be in a whole new place within 6 months. 

And I know that the road looks long, especially since each behavior we’ve discussed is deeply ingrained in our psyche, often the result of years of habits and experiences.

But remember, old habits can be unlearned, and new ones can take their place.

So don’t be afraid to take that first little step. One day you’ll look back and be glad you did.