Being classy and sophisticated isn’t about wearing the most expensive clothes or having the best table manners – it’s about how you act.

There are certain behaviors that just scream “I’m a classy person!”

But there are also behaviors that can make you come across as anything but.

Let’s get real here.

We all have habits we’re not proud of.

But if you’re trying to present yourself as a person of class and sophistication, there are some behaviors you simply need to kick to the curb.

I’m talking about the kind of behaviors that leave a bad taste in people’s mouths.

The ones that make people think less of you, even when they’re trying not to judge.

1) Speaking ill of others

It’s a fact of life.

We all have moments when we’re frustrated with someone and feel the need to vent.

But there’s a difference between discussing your feelings in a constructive way and outright badmouthing someone behind their back.

Let’s be honest, nothing screams lack of class more than speaking ill of others when they’re not around to defend themselves.

It’s a behavior that reflects poorly on you, not the person you’re talking about.

Now, I’m not saying you should bottle up your negative feelings and never express them.

That’s not healthy either.

However, there’s a time, place, and manner for such discussions.

If you’ve got an issue with someone, it’s usually best to discuss it directly with them, in a respectful and constructive way.

Otherwise, it’s usually better to keep it to yourself.

2) Overapologizing

Most of us are taught from a young age that saying sorry is the polite thing to do when we’ve made a mistake.

And while that is true, there’s such a thing as overapologizing.

Think about it – if you’re constantly saying “I’m sorry” for every little thing, it can actually make you come across as insecure or lacking in confidence.

It can also devalue the meaning of the word when you really are sorry for something significant.

Research has shown that people who apologize excessively may be perceived as less competent and more insecure.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m not suggesting that you stop apologizing altogether.

When you’ve genuinely made a mistake or hurt someone’s feelings, a heartfelt apology is absolutely the right thing to do.

But if you’re saying sorry for things that aren’t your fault or aren’t a big deal – like when someone else bumps into you, or when you’re a few minutes late for a meeting despite unavoidable circumstances, it may be time to reassess.

3) Relying too much on others

True sophistication and class come from a place of self-assuredness and independence.

Sure, it’s wonderful to have a support system and people who you can lean on when times get tough.

But there’s a big difference between healthy interdependence and becoming overly reliant on others for your happiness or self-worth.

During my research for my book, Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship, I discovered that many people struggle with this issue.

They look to others to validate them and give them a sense of worth, which can lead to unhealthy relationships and a lack of self-confidence.

Being classy and sophisticated is all about being comfortable in your own skin and not needing someone else to make you feel good about yourself.

It’s about being able to stand on your own two feet and make decisions that are right for you.

So if you find yourself constantly seeking approval or validation from others, it’s time to take a step back.

Work on building your self-esteem and finding happiness within yourself, rather than looking for it in other people. 

4) Ignoring your manners

In the rush and busyness of modern life, it can be easy to forget the simple things.

Like saying “please” and “thank you”. Or holding the door open for someone.

But these small acts of courtesy can make a big difference.

As I’ve navigated through various social situations in my life, I’ve noticed that people really do appreciate it when you take the time to be polite and considerate.

And it’s not just about making others feel good – it’s also about respecting yourself.

This mindset extends to how we treat others.

Being classy and sophisticated isn’t just about how we dress or speak – it’s also about how we treat others.

5) Neglecting self-care

I can’t stress this enough – taking care of yourself isn’t selfish, it’s essential.

And it’s not just about spa days and treating yourself (although those are nice too!).

It’s about making sure you’re looking after your physical and mental health.

Research underscores the importance of self-care in maintaining both physical and mental health.

Engaging in regular self-care practices can reduce stress, improve mood, and enhance overall well-being.

In my own life, I’ve found that when I’m run down or stressed, it’s much harder to present myself with the class and sophistication I strive for.

It’s tough to be patient, kind, and considerate when you’re running on empty.

But when I take the time to look after myself – whether that’s getting regular exercise, making sure I get enough sleep, or taking some time out just for me every now and then – I feel better equipped to handle whatever life throws at me.

6) Failing to listen

Communication is a two-way street, and listening is just as important as speaking – if not more so.

As a relationship expert, I’ve seen countless relationships and friendships strained because one person didn’t feel heard or understood.

In my own experience, I’ve found that making an effort to really listen – not just hear, but truly understand – can make a world of difference in how you connect with others.

And this connection is the foundation of class and sophistication.

As the famous writer Stephen R. Covey once said, “Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.”

This behavior, while common, is far from classy or sophisticated. So make an effort to really listen when others speak.

It’ll show them that you value their thoughts and opinions, which is a key aspect of sophistication.

If you’re enjoying these tips and want more advice on how to carry yourself with class and sophistication, follow me on Facebook where I share my latest articles.

7) Pretending to be someone you’re not

Let’s get real here.

Class and sophistication aren’t about putting on airs or trying to be someone you’re not.

In fact, nothing is less classy than being fake or insincere.

We all have moments of insecurity.

Moments when we feel like we’re not enough.

And in these moments, it can be tempting to put on a mask and pretend to be someone else – someone more polished, more confident, more ‘perfect’.

But here’s the thing: nobody’s perfect.

We all have flaws and make mistakes.

And that’s okay.

It’s part of being human.

True class and sophistication come from being authentic and true to yourself.

From owning your flaws and embracing your unique traits.

According to research, individuals who perceive themselves as authentic experience higher levels of well-being and resilience.

So don’t try to be someone you’re not. Be proud of who you are, warts and all.

Because there’s nothing more sophisticated than being real, raw and unapologetically you.

Unveiling the fabric of class and sophistication

Trying to be classy and sophisticated isn’t about mirroring societal norms or embracing artificial behaviors.

It’s about authenticity, respect, and treating others the way you’d want to be treated.

The behaviors we’ve discussed today are not an exhaustive list, but they serve as markers on the path towards personal growth.

Saying goodbye to these habits doesn’t mean you’re instantly transformed into a beacon of class and sophistication.

It’s a journey, not a destination.

Remember the words of Audrey Hepburn: “I was raised to be an independent woman, not the victim of anything.”

This mindset is what we should strive for in our journey towards class and sophistication.

To further explore this topic and delve deeper into the complexities of personal growth, I’d recommend watching this insightful video by Justin Brown.

He explains why it’s important not to try to defeat imposter syndrome, but to actually embrace feeling like an imposter because imposter syndrome is not a flaw to be fought against, but a sign of deep self-awareness and a catalyst for authentic growth and empowerment.

It encourages individuals to embrace their vulnerabilities, recognize their achievements without external validation, and pursue a path of self-improvement grounded in genuine self-acceptance.