These days, being happy isn’t a particularly straightforward task. 

After all, we live in a complicated world. 

Culture wars, real wars, disease, debt, inflation, everyone relentlessly fighting on social media… the world can be a pretty tough place if you don’t have the right perspective. 

So if you struggle to feel happy, don’t sweat it. You’re far from alone. 

But that doesn’t mean things can’t get better. 

In this article, I’ll take you through the habits you need to drop, if you truly want to be a happy and joyful person. 

Once you make the transition, a whole new reality will open up to you. All it takes is a bit of determination. 

Let’s get to it! 

1) Negative self-talk

Take a closer look at your inner dialogue. 

Once we get into the toxic cycle of being overly self-critical, it’s a tough habit to break. 

Sometimes, negative self-talk can be so ingrained, we barely notice it taking over. 

Eventually, your self-esteem will become eroded almost completely. 

Have the will to change things up. Actively replace negative thoughts with positive affirmations. 

Have written reminders around the house if you have to. 

In the words of the indomitable Stuart Smalley “You’re good enough; you’re smart enough; and doggone it, people like you!” 

2) Overthinking

I used to be a chronic overthinker… something I can now conclude was probably the main source of my unhappiness during that period. 

I would worry about things out of my control; I’d worry about things that were statistically possible but also highly far-fetched. 

I’d worry and obsessed over something I should or shouldn’t have said or done ten years ago. 

My mental and emotional energy would get so drained by ruminating that I’d feel demotivated to take on other challenges and tasks. 

You see, excessive worrying about the future and ruminating about the past prevents you from enjoying the present moment. 

If this sounds like you, you’re doing yourself an injustice. 

Stop dwelling. Let go of regret. Move forward. 

Practice mindfulness to stay grounded. 

Nothing good comes from overthinking. Don’t forget: “The more you brood, the less you do.” 

3) Comparing yourself to others

True contentment and fulfillment should come from within; it shouldn’t arrive relative to how everyone else is doing. 

There will always be someone doing “better” than you, particularly when that’s already your mindset. 

Perpetually comparing yourself can be a destructive habit when left unchecked. 

This is especially true today where everyone is posting their best lives online for all of us to see (and compare.) 

Look, if you’re happy and your needs are being met, that’s all that matters. 

Comparing yourself will lead to feelings of inadequacy; comparing yourself can lead to constant dissatisfaction and perfectionism. 

Focus on your own journey and celebrate your progress and milestones, both big and small. 

Embrace imperfection. 

Block everything else out. 

4) Holding grudges

I have a friend who hasn’t spoken to her parents in decades, apart from the occasional passing comment every year or two. 

She still harbors deep resentment towards them from childhood. 

Her mom and dad had her at a very young age and weren’t always the most present parents in the world.

But people evolve. 

Her parents have since transformed into better people yet any attempts they make at reconnecting with her are virtually shut down. 

My friend hasn’t cracked after all these years. 

And until that day comes, she will have a heavy energy hovering over her… 

Her grudge remains powerful; she firmly believes her parents are the same people from thirty years ago.

If you want to truly be happy, let go of grudges.

Practice forgiveness to free yourself from the negative emotions that are unconsciously weighing you down.

5) People-pleasing 

Start standing up for yourself. 

If you don’t, people will notice… and many will tend to take advantage. 

People-pleasing, sacrificing your own well-being to satisfy everyone else, can be a destructive and draining habit. 

People-pleasing ultimately isn’t good for your self-worth. 

Learn to say no and prioritize your own needs. 

Own your existence, don’t let people walk all over you. 

Sure, there shouldn’t be an issue if you sometimes go out of your way to do favors here and there, but when that becomes your status quo, that simply isn’t healthy. Real talk. 

6) Procrastination

Don’t forget what Benjamin Franklin famously and concisely said: “Don’t put off until tomorrow what can be done today.” 

Putting off tasks can cause unnecessary and preventable stress. 

When you procrastinate, tasks tend to pile up, which in turn means you’ll get overwhelmed, which isn’t good for the mind, body, and level of happiness. 

If you want your life to improve, you have to put the time and effort in; this means you have to actively get the ball rolling and stop procrastinating, rather than passively expecting the issue to solve itself. 

Develop time management skills and tackle tasks promptly; avoid letting things build up and problems multiply exponentially. 

7) Neglecting self-care 

I used to think working hard was the most important human virtue. 

In my eyes, as long as I was working, everything else didn’t matter; everything else was secondary.

But then I realized how unhappy I was becoming. 

I became burnt out, easily snapping at those close to me. I lost friends. 

On other days, I had zero energy; incapable of doing anything other than staring into space, confused and tired. 

This was no way to live. I had no balance in life and my disposition strongly reflected that. 

Sacrificing your inherent physical, emotional, and mental needs will not be doing you any favors. 

Balance things out by doing things that make you happy and limiting work hours. 

Whether that’s spending time with your dogs, watching movies, listening to music, exercising, or being in nature, always prioritize and nurture your well-being. 

Learn self-care. 

Once you do, you’ll see a difference in your happiness level almost instantly. You got this.