Being a good mother is one of the most rewarding, yet challenging jobs on the planet.

You love your kids more than anything in the world, but sometimes, despite your best intentions, you find yourself slipping into habits that might not be beneficial for them or for you.

It’s not always a massive showdown at the dinner table or a heated argument over bedtime.

Sometimes it’s just a subtle feeling that you could be doing things differently, even when every fiber of your being is resisting change.

Here’s how to know that you need to change your ways to truly become a better mother, even if it’s going to be tough.

1) Neglecting self-care

Being a mother is an all-consuming role, and it’s easy to pour all your energy into your kids, forgetting about yourself in the process.

We often think that by prioritizing our own needs, we’re somehow failing our children.

But the truth is far from it.

Sometimes, it’s not a major health crisis or a complete emotional breakdown.

It might just be the constant tiredness you feel or the little voice in your head telling you that you’re not taking care of yourself like you used to.

This is your wake up call. You need to say goodbye to this habit of neglecting self-care.

Being a better mother really starts with looking after yourself, even if it seems hard at first.

2) Prioritizing perfection over presence

I was always trying to be the perfect mother – the one who bakes, cleans, volunteers at school, and still manages to have a successful career.

But one day, I found my daughter crying because she felt I was never truly present. I was always doing something, always busy.

That was a gut punch. My pursuit of perfection was taking away from the very thing my child needed most – my presence.

It’s tough to let go because we’re often afraid that we’ll be judged or seen as less than perfect. 

But trust me, your child will appreciate your presence more than your perfection. 

3) Over-complicating things

I often found myself making things more complicated than they needed to be.

Planning elaborate birthday parties, scheduling a plethora of after-school activities, or obsessing over every detail of their diet. I thought that by doing all of this, I was being a good mother.

But in reality, I was just stressing myself and my kids out.

Kicking the habit of over-complication made me a better mother. It gave me more time, less stress and my kids appreciated the simplicity. It’s a hard pill to swallow that sometimes less really is more.

4) Losing sight of your passions

Did you know that children who see their parents pursuing their passions are more likely to develop their own interests and hobbies?

I used to think that dedicating all my time to my kids was the hallmark of a good mother.

But then I learned about this fact and it caused a shift in my thinking.

I realized that by suppressing my own passions, I was not only denying myself happiness but also potentially hindering my kids’ development of their own interests.

So, I dusted off my old guitar, started writing again, and even took up gardening. And guess what? My kids started showing an interest in music, literature, and nature too.

Saying goodbye to losing sight of your passions does not only benefit you but it also positively impacts your children. Even if it’s hard to find the time, it’s important for both you and your kids.

5) Not setting boundaries

When we become parents, it’s easy to let our children’s needs and wants dictate our lives.

I used to think that this is what good mothers do. They put their children first, always.

But then I realized that by not setting boundaries, I was not only draining myself but also teaching my kids that they could disregard my needs.

Establishing clear boundaries, like specific times for work, rest, and play, began to change the dynamics in my home. I was less stressed, more focused, and surprisingly, my kids were happier too.

This is crucial if you want to be a better mother. It’s not easy, but it’s a step worth taking for your own well-being and for teaching your kids respect and consideration.

6) Fearing failure

As mothers, we all want to do the best for our children. It’s a universal truth.

But in my quest to be the “best” mother, I found myself fearing failure. I was scared to make mistakes.

The problem with this is that it kept me from taking risks or trying new approaches in my parenting. It kept me stuck.

When I finally let go of this fear, I started learning from my mistakes instead of fearing them.

It’s a liberating experience. It allows you to grow as a mother and as a person. And believe me, it’s a change worth making, even if it feels scary at first.

7) Neglecting adult relationships

Motherhood often feels like a full-time job with overtime. It’s easy to forget that we are more than just mothers.

I found myself so engrossed in my children’s lives that my relationships with friends, my spouse, and even with myself started to take a backseat.

But here’s what I learned: maintaining adult relationships is important for your mental health and overall well-being.

When I started investing time in my adult relationships again, I noticed a positive shift in my mood, my perspective, and even in my parenting style.

So stop neglecting your adult relationships. It might seem hard at first, but it’s a change that will make you a better mother and a happier person.

8) Forgetting to enjoy motherhood

With all the responsibilities and pressures of being a mother, it’s easy to forget one crucial thing – to enjoy the journey.

I remember being so caught up in schedules, chores, and expectations that I forgot to relish the beautiful moments of being a mom.

But then it hit me. Time was flying by and my kids were growing up quickly.

That’s when I decided to say goodbye to the habit of forgetting to enjoy motherhood.

I started to cherish the little moments – the giggles, the bedtime stories, even the tantrums.

Letting go of this habit might be the hardest yet the most rewarding change you can make.

Being a better mother isn’t just about doing things right, it’s about enjoying the journey and making beautiful memories along the way.

Embracing the journey

Being a better mother doesn’t mean being flawless. It’s about growth, change, and learning to let go of habits that no longer serve you or your family well.

If you see yourself in these points, don’t be disheartened. You’re not alone. Many mothers share the same struggles. The good news is that change is possible.

Start by acknowledging these habits. Pay attention to when you neglect self-care, strive for perfection, or forget to enjoy the journey of motherhood.

Ask yourself – is this truly beneficial for me and my children? Does this align with the kind of mother I aspire to be?

Breaking old habits isn’t easy and it won’t happen overnight. With each small step towards change, you’re shaping a happier, healthier version of yourself, and in turn, creating a more nurturing environment for your children.

As you embark on this journey of becoming a better mother, remember to be kind to yourself. Celebrate your progress and don’t be afraid to ask for help.

In the end, it’s all about love – love for your children, and just as importantly, love for yourself.