If you often feel misunderstood, try adding these 9 direct phrases to your communication

Graeme Richards by Graeme Richards | June 1, 2024, 9:30 pm

Miscommunication can be a real hassle, especially when it feels like you’re constantly being misunderstood.

The problem often lies not in what you’re saying, but how you’re saying it.

To help clear the air, direct communication is key. Using certain phrases can help ensure your message gets across exactly as you intended it.

Here are nine direct phrases to add to your vocabulary, which will help you feel more understood. These phrases are straightforward and leave no room for misunderstanding.

So, if you often find yourself feeling misunderstood, this guide’s for you. Let’s dive in and make every conversation count.

1) “Let me clarify…”

Misunderstandings often stem from a lack of clarity in communication.

It’s not uncommon to believe that what you’re saying is crystal clear, while the other person is lost in translation.

This is where the phrase “Let me clarify…” comes in handy.

Using this phrase allows you to further explain your point, ensuring that the listener understands your perspective. It communicates that you’re open to discussion and eager to make your intentions clear.

Remember, effective communication isn’t about proving who’s right or wrong, it’s about reaching a mutual understanding.

So, next time you feel misunderstood, try starting your sentence with “Let me clarify…”. It sets the tone for a clear and direct conversation, reducing chances for further misinterpretation.

2) “From my perspective…”

We all view the world through our unique lenses, and sometimes, these differing viewpoints can lead to misunderstandings.

In my personal experience, I’ve found that the phrase “From my perspective…” can be incredibly useful in such situations.

A few years ago, during a team meeting at work, we were discussing the direction of a project. I could see that my colleagues were not grasping my ideas. The room was filled with confused faces and I was feeling misunderstood.

That’s when I decided to reframe my thoughts, starting with “From my perspective…”. This helped me to express my views in a way that emphasized they were my personal interpretations and not absolute facts.

Immediately, I noticed a shift in their reactions. My colleagues began to understand where I was coming from and this opened up a constructive dialogue.

So remember, using “From my perspective…” can help clarify your standpoint without dismissing others’ viewpoints. It’s a phrase that fosters understanding and promotes open communication.

3) “Can we revisit this?”

When the conversation gets heated, or if you feel your point is being lost in the noise, it’s crucial to have a way to pause and regroup. The phrase “Can we revisit this?” is a powerful tool in such scenarios.

This phrase provides an opportunity to step back when emotions are running high, or when the conversation is straying off course. It’s like hitting the reset button on a discussion, giving both parties a chance to cool down and refocus.

Interestingly, a study published in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology found that taking breaks during conflict resolution can lead to more productive outcomes. The breaks allow individuals time to process information, and return to the conversation with a fresh perspective.

So, the next time you feel misunderstood in a charged conversation, don’t hesitate to say, “Can we revisit this?”. It’s a respectful way to request a pause and regroup for clearer communication.

4) “What I mean is…”

Sometimes, in the midst of a conversation, we realize that our words aren’t conveying our thoughts accurately. That’s when “What I mean is…” can be your best friend.

This phrase allows you to rephrase your initial statement or idea, providing a fresh angle that may be easier for the listener to understand. It’s a second chance at expressing yourself, and it can make all the difference in successful communication.

The beauty of “What I mean is…” lies in its simplicity. It’s direct, it’s clear, and it signals to the other person that you are actively working to make your point understood.

So, when you feel like your words are falling flat, don’t lose hope. Try using “What I mean is…” and watch how it shifts the conversation towards clarity and understanding.

5) “I feel that…”

One of the most effective ways to ensure your feelings and thoughts are understood is to express them clearly and directly. The phrase “I feel that…” is a powerful tool in achieving this.

This phrase helps you express your emotions in a manner that’s assertive, yet respectful. It shifts the focus to your feelings, making it less about who’s right or wrong, and more about understanding each other’s perspective.

By saying “I feel that…”, you’re also inviting empathy from the listener. It allows them to better understand where you’re coming from and what you’re experiencing.

So next time you’re in a situation where you feel misunderstood, don’t shy away from stating “I feel that…”. It might just be the key to unlocking better communication and deeper understanding.

6) “I value your opinion, but…”

We’ve all been in conversations where it feels like our viewpoint is being overshadowed. It’s important, in these situations, to assert yourself while still acknowledging the other person.

The phrase “I value your opinion, but…” does just that. It starts by appreciating the other person’s perspective, and then gently introduces your own viewpoint.

This phrase communicates respect for the other person’s thoughts while also asserting your right to have a differing opinion. It’s about finding balance in conversation—a way to be heard without dismissing the other person’s feelings or thoughts.

So when you feel like you’re not being heard, remember to say “I value your opinion, but…”. It’s a phrase that promotes mutual respect and understanding, paving the way for better communication.

7) “I could be wrong, but…”

There’s an inherent vulnerability in admitting we could be wrong. Yet, this admission can often open doors to more meaningful conversations and deeper understanding.

The phrase “I could be wrong, but…” has been a game-changer in many of my own interactions. It sets the stage for open dialogue by communicating that I’m willing to consider other perspectives and that my thoughts aren’t set in stone.

Once, during a particularly intense discussion with a close friend, I felt my words were being misunderstood. Instead of becoming defensive, I decided to use this phrase. By opening up space for the possibility that I might be wrong, I was able to diffuse the tension.

The conversation immediately took a turn for the better. My friend felt heard, and I felt understood.

Incorporating “I could be wrong, but…” into your communication can help foster a space of mutual respect and understanding, even when opinions differ.

8) “Just to be clear…”

Clarity is the cornerstone of effective communication, and the phrase “Just to be clear…” helps to reinforce understanding in conversation.

This phrase acts as a signal that you are about to summarize or restate your point, ensuring that there’s no room for misinterpretation. It’s a way to double-check that your thoughts have been understood correctly and to rectify any potential confusion.

By saying “Just to be clear…”, you’re taking an extra step towards preventing misunderstandings. It’s a proactive measure that showcases your commitment to clear and open communication.

So the next time you’re in a conversation where clarity is paramount, remember to use the phrase “Just to be clear…”. It’s a simple but powerful tool in maintaining clear and effective communication.

9) “To sum up…”

The phrase “To sum up…” is more than just a conclusion to your thoughts. It’s an opportunity to condense your message into its most essential form, making it easier for the listener to grasp your point.

Using “To sum up…” allows you to highlight the crux of your argument or viewpoint, minimizing the chances of being misunderstood. It’s like providing a roadmap that guides your listener towards understanding your perspective.

Remember, effective communication isn’t about speaking more; it’s about speaking clearly. And “To sum up…” is a phrase that can help you do just that.

Final thoughts: It’s all about clarity

The crux of effective communication lies not in the quantity of words spoken, but in their clarity. And when we feel misunderstood, it’s often a signal that our communication needs a tune-up.

Incorporating these nine phrases into your conversations can make a world of difference. They’re more than just words; they’re tools that help express your thoughts, feelings, and perspectives in a way that’s clear and understandable.

Remember the power of phrases like “Let me clarify…” or “From my perspective…”. These are not mere conversation fillers but bridges that connect you to your listener, ensuring mutual understanding.

And as George Bernard Shaw wisely said, “The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.” So don’t just talk. Strive to be understood.

At the end of the day, being understood isn’t about winning an argument or proving a point. It’s about fostering connections, building relationships, and engaging in meaningful dialogue. And that, dear reader, is a skill worth mastering.