Friendship is a curious thing. Some of us have great circles of friends, while others keep only a select few close to our hearts.

As one of those who only has a few close pals, I’ve often wondered why that is. Turns out, it may be down to certain personality traits.

In this article, I’ll reveal the 8 traits that might explain why you, like me, have only a few close friends.

And hey, that’s not a bad thing! Sometimes, quality trumps quantity. Let’s dive in.

1) You’re selective

When it comes to friends, you’re not one to cast a wide net.

You’re someone who values quality over quantity. You don’t just let anyone into your inner circle. It’s not about being stuck-up or exclusive, but rather about choosing people who truly understand you and your values.

This might mean you have fewer friends, but the ones you have are real gems. They’re the ones who will stick by you through thick and thin, who truly get who you are.

This selectiveness can mean that you have fewer friends than others. But remember, it’s not a numbers game. The most important thing is that these are people who genuinely enrich your life.

2) You value deeper connections

For me, small talk and surface-level interactions just don’t cut it. I crave deep, meaningful conversations. You know, those late-night talks where you really get to know someone, their dreams, their fears, their stories.

I remember a time when I was at a party, surrounded by people, yet feeling utterly alone. It was all chit-chat about the weather and work. I couldn’t help but long for a meaningful conversation.

This longing for depth in your relationships can limit the number of friends you have. It takes time and effort to build such a connection. But when you do connect at this level, it’s incredibly fulfilling.

If you’re like me and prefer these deeper connections, you might find yourself with fewer friends. But those friendships are likely to be more profound and satisfying.

3) You’re an introvert

Introversion is often misunderstood as being shy or antisocial. But in reality, introverts simply prefer quieter, more introspective environments. They recharge by spending time alone and can feel drained by large social gatherings.

According to the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, a widely used personality test, nearly half of the population identifies as introverted.

Being an introvert doesn’t mean you don’t want or need friendships. It just means you may be more comfortable with a few close friends rather than a large group. This preference for intimate friendships can result in having fewer friends overall.

4) You’re self-sufficient

You’re someone who’s comfortable in their own company. You don’t rely on others to fill your time or provide entertainment. You have your own interests and hobbies that you’re perfectly happy pursuing on your own.

This independence can often lead to a smaller friend circle. You might not feel the need to constantly be around others, which can limit the number of friendships you form.

But remember, being self-sufficient is a strength. It means you’re self-assured and comfortable with who you are. And those are qualities that make for a great friend.

5) You’re loyal to a fault

Friendship, to you, isn’t a casual affair. It’s a commitment. When you call someone a friend, you mean it. You’re there for them, through thick and thin, good times and bad. You’re the one they can call at three in the morning and know you’ll pick up.

This level of loyalty is rare and beautiful. But it also means that you can’t spread yourself too thin. There are only so many people you can be this loyal to, which may limit the number of close friends you have.

But those who are lucky enough to be counted as your friend know they have someone who will stand by them no matter what. And that’s something truly special.

6) You’re an empath

Feeling deeply is second nature to you. You sense other people’s emotions, often taking them on as your own. When someone is in pain, you feel it too. When someone is happy, their joy becomes yours.

I once had a friend going through a tough break up. I could physically feel her heartache, her sadness. It was like a weight on my chest. This is a common experience for empaths, and it can be both a blessing and a curse.

Being an empath often leads to fewer friends, as it can be overwhelming to juggle too many emotional connections. But it also means the friendships you do form are incredibly deep and meaningful.

7) You’re a good listener

You’re the friend everyone turns to when they need advice or just someone to vent to. You have the ability to make people feel heard and understood. You don’t just wait for your turn to speak, you truly listen.

Being a good listener is a wonderful trait, but it can also mean that you attract people who take more than they give. This can make it harder for you to form balanced, reciprocal friendships.

But don’t let this dishearten you. Your ability to listen is a gift, and the right friends will appreciate it and give back in kind.

8) You’re authentic

You’re not one for facades or fake smiles. You show up as you are, and you value the same authenticity in others. You seek out genuine connections, friendships built on honesty and mutual respect.

Being authentically you might mean fewer friendships, as not everyone is comfortable with this level of openness. But the ones who stick around, the ones who love you for who you truly are, those are the friendships that truly matter. They’re the ones worth cherishing.

Embracing the depth

At the heart of it all, having few close friends might not be the result of a singular trait, but rather a beautiful blend of several. You’re selective, you value depth, you’re an introvert, self-sufficient, loyal, empathetic, a good listener, and authentic.

The common thread woven through each of these traits is depth. You seek depth in your relationships, in your interactions, in your life. And while this might mean fewer friendships, it also means richer ones.

According to American psychologist Abraham Maslow, one of the characteristics of self-actualized people is having few friends. Maslow’s theory suggests that individuals who have reached self-actualization – the highest level in his hierarchy of needs – form deeper connections with fewer people.

So next time you find yourself wondering why you have only a few close friends, remind yourself that it’s not about the quantity but the quality of relationships you foster. Embrace your unique traits and continue to cultivate those deep connections that bring so much meaning to your life.