If you had these 8 experiences as a child, you probably have low self-worth as an adult

Isabella Chase by Isabella Chase | January 17, 2025, 6:18 am

There’s a strong link between our childhood experiences and our adult self-worth.

Simply put, some experiences we go through as kids can imprint on us, shaping how we view ourselves as adults.

If you’ve had certain experiences as a child, you might struggle with low self-esteem in your adult life.

There are eight key experiences that can indicate this. And recognizing them can be the first step towards healing.

In this article, I’ll share these experiences and how they might have impacted your self-worth. Don’t worry, it’s not about blaming or dwelling on the past, but understanding and moving forward.

1) Constant criticism

We all know that words matter, especially those spoken during our formative years.

Growing up, if you were constantly criticized or belittled by your caregivers, it’s likely that these words stuck with you.

You see, children are like sponges, they absorb everything around them. And when they are constantly exposed to negative comments, they begin to internalize these messages.

This repeated criticism can lead to a feeling of never being good enough, no matter how hard you try. Over time, this can manifest as low self-worth in adulthood.

Understanding this is the first step towards breaking free from these harmful thought patterns and rebuilding your self-esteem. Remember, it’s not about assigning blame, but about realizing the roots of your feelings to better address them.

2) Emotional neglect

I can tell you from personal experience that emotional neglect can leave lasting scars.

Growing up, my parents were always busy. They provided for my physical needs, but emotionally, they were often absent.

It’s not that they didn’t love me. They just didn’t have the time or emotional bandwidth to connect on a deeper level. Conversations about feelings and emotions were not a common occurrence in our house.

As an adult, I realized this emotional neglect made me feel invisible and unimportant. It led me to question my worth and struggle with feelings of inadequacy.

Recognizing this pattern has been a key part of my journey towards self-love and acceptance. Remember, acknowledging the past is not about harboring resentment, but about understanding how our experiences have shaped us.

3) Lack of praise and encouragement

Children thrive on praise and encouragement. It helps them develop a sense of accomplishment and boosts their self-esteem.

On the flip side, growing up without this positive reinforcement can have a significant impact on one’s self-worth.

This lack of validation can lead to constantly seeking approval in adulthood, often associating self-worth with external validation. Recognizing this pattern can be instrumental in redefining your own worth from within.

4) Conditional love

Love should be unconditional, especially when it comes to the bond between a parent and a child.

However, if you grew up in an environment where love was conditional – based on your behavior, achievements or compliance – it’s likely that you might struggle with self-worth as an adult.

Conditional love can instill a belief that you are only worthwhile or lovable when you meet certain standards. This can lead to a constant fear of failure and rejection, and a persistent feeling of never being good enough.

Understanding this can help break the cycle and start building a healthier sense of self-love and acceptance.

5) Bullying

Being a victim of bullying is a deeply painful experience that can leave emotional wounds lasting well into adulthood.

If you faced constant teasing, belittling, or physical harm as a child, it’s not uncommon to carry those feelings of fear and shame with you as you grow up.

Bullying can distort your self-image, making you feel worthless, unlovable, and isolated. You might find yourself constantly on edge, anticipating criticism or rejection.

Please remember, the hurtful actions of bullies reflect their own insecurities, not your worth. Recognizing this is a crucial step towards healing and reclaiming your self-confidence.

6) High expectations

I grew up in a household where success was measured by achievements.

From academics to extracurricular activities, there was always a high bar set for me. And while I understand it was done with the intent of pushing me to excel, it ended up creating an immense amount of pressure.

This unrelenting pressure to meet high expectations often led to anxiety and a fear of failure. I found myself associating my worth with my achievements, believing that I was only as good as my latest success.

Coming to terms with this has helped me separate my self-worth from my accomplishments, fostering a healthier self-esteem.

7) Favoritism

Growing up feeling like you’re second best can be a heavy burden to bear.

If you experienced favoritism in your family, with another sibling receiving more attention or praise, it’s likely that it impacted your self-esteem.

This perceived inequality can lead to feelings of inadequacy and a persistent belief that you are less valuable or lovable.

It’s important to remember that your worth is not determined by comparison. Recognizing this pattern is a step towards building a healthier sense of self-worth.

8) Abuse

Abuse, whether physical, emotional, or sexual, is profoundly damaging.

If you suffered abuse as a child, it’s almost certain that it affected your sense of self-worth.

Abuse can leave deep emotional scars, leading to feelings of shame, guilt, and worthlessness.

But here’s the most important thing to remember: You did not deserve what happened to you. The actions of the abuser were about their failings and faults, not yours. You are valuable and worthy of respect and love. Always.