In life, there’s almost always a silver lining for every bad situation, for every gloomy cloud. 

Growing up in a toxic family, for instance, while painful and hardly ideal, can equip you with the kind of tools that set you up for success in life… if you have the right approach. 

Many people who grew up in healthy, loving families tend to end up living happy yet highly predictable lives. 

Not you though. 

Not the millions of other people who grew up in tough circumstances, and thus live life with a perpetual chip on their shoulders. 

If you harness this energy the right way, you will go far and accomplish great things, armed with all the necessary qualities to achieve them. 

Qualities gained through pain.  

I’m here to provide more clarity. 

In this article, I’ll take you through the unique strengths of people who grew up in toxic circumstances. 

Let’s get to it! 

1) You’re resilient

In many ways, you’re a product of your learned behaviors from childhood. 

Being unable to emotionally rely on your family growing up isn’t just fair to you, it hurts too. 

It’s the type of hardship you’ve both experienced and overcome. 

The latter process will naturally make you a more resilient person.

You can deal with the trials and tribulations of the world with grace and flexibility rather than panic and meltdowns. 

Having resilience in life is critical. 

After all, adversity in life is a given.

Your success in life is in large part measured by how you deal with failure, and how you bounce back and adapt. 

So if you’re already naturally resilient, you’re ahead of the game. Keep going. 

2) You have a high level of empathy 

From my experience, when people have gone through a traumatic event or experience, the tendency is usually to have empathy and compassion for those going through similar struggles. 

Why? Because you experienced the trauma firsthand, you know how excruciatingly painful and emotionally draining it can be. 

Believe it or not, most people in the world are kind. 

I know a guy who has had a particularly rough childhood, raised by an abusive, reckless father. 

He now counsels and mentors young people who have the same, or comparable, experiences and backgrounds. 

I know people who were so consistently disappointed by their upbringing from early in life that they vowed to break the cycle with their own kids.  

Sure enough, they went on to become excellent parents, with empathy and emotional intelligence. 

These are hardly isolated cases. 

So if you feel your life experiences have made you a more empathetic, compassionate, and sensitive person, then more power to you. 

Empathy will never go out of style.  

3) You’re an independent person 

My siblings and I grew up in a distant but hostile and very loud family. 

We weren’t exactly the Brady Bunch. 

My sibling and I all quietly craved love and attention but never truly received it as children. 

Our baby boomer parents were too busy working or socializing to consistently spend time with us. 

Over time, we collectively learned that we couldn’t rely on our parents to fulfill our basic needs in life, so we all turned out incredibly independent in our own unique ways. 

My sister, for instance, left home at 17 for college overseas and never returned. Literally. 

She has not been back in over 20 years and has never asked for financial help. 

She has a thriving career and a busy social calendar, and pretty much shuns anything family-related, other than the occasional, monosyllabic birthday text. 

Her independence, determination, and self-sufficiency in life are both admirable and extreme.

And though I rarely see her, I ultimately understand where she’s coming from. 

4) You are effective at resolving conflict 

If you grew up in an especially volatile home, then by sheer osmosis, you learn early in life how to approach conflicts. 

The latter is an ideal life skill since, as humans, we won’t always get along with each other. 

Shocker, I know. 

Conflict and disagreement in life are all but inevitable, so how you handle the aftermath, navigate disagreements, and find solutions can spell the difference. 

Many people will escalate things, blurting out the kind of personal attacks that are essentially irreversible, burning bridges in the process. 

As someone who knows how to resolve conflict, you can mostly avoid these things, and thus enjoy more peaceful, and meaningful relationships in life. 

5) You’re deeply self-aware 

When you go through hardship, like a turbulent childhood, the tendency is to learn a lot about yourself and your emotions. 

Most people will leave the deep reflection for later in life; for when they encounter major, life-changing adversity. 

Your struggles have come prematurely, and you therefore have built a keen sense of self-awareness. 

Maybe you have spent more time reflecting on your experiences than the average person, getting deep and introspective. 

Maybe you’ve even sought out a professional to help guide you through the process, knowing something within you needed fixing. 

Whatever it is, if you grew up having to deal with intense emotions, you’re likely already in tune with your own needs, triggers, and areas for personal growth.

In short, you grew up fast. 

You are also fully aware of the importance of setting boundaries. 

After experiencing unhealthy dynamics in your formative years, you realize that protecting your well-being should always be a top priority. 

Final words 

I realize that growing up in a toxic atmosphere is not ideal, and frankly unfair to you. 

But as established, there’s always some good that will come out of a bad situation. 

If the above items resonate with you, then you’re in a good place. 

Don’t forget your childhood, but at the same don’t dwell on it. 

Keep moving forward with hope, resilience, and optimism.

Soon, you’ll get to where you want to be and there will be no stopping you.