There’s a huge difference between growing old and growing old happily.

The difference lies in the behaviors we carry along. Holding onto certain behaviors can make aging a less-than-pleasant experience.

On the flip side, letting go of these behaviors can make aging a journey of joy and fulfillment. And trust me, as someone who practices mindfulness and Buddhism, I have found this to be absolutely true.

If you genuinely want to be happier as you get older, there are some behaviors you need to say goodbye to.

In this article, I’m going to share with you the 9 behaviors that I believe can make a significant difference in your happiness as you age. This isn’t about manipulation; it’s about making mindful choices that lead to greater happiness.

This is Lachlan Brown from Hack Spirit, and I hope you’re ready to embark on this journey with me.

1) Holding onto grudges

When it comes to aging happily, one of the most significant roadblocks many of us face is holding onto grudges.

It’s pretty common. Someone wrongs us, and we can’t seem to let it go. We replay the situation in our minds, fueling our anger and resentment. It’s like a thorn stuck in our hearts.

But here’s the thing. Holding onto grudges doesn’t hurt the person who wronged us. It hurts us. It steals our peace of mind, robs us of the present moment, and prevents us from moving forward.

As a mindfulness practitioner, I’ve learned that forgiveness isn’t about condoning what someone did. It’s about freeing ourselves from the burden of carrying that grudge.

So when you find yourself holding onto a grudge, try to let it go. Practice forgiveness, not for them but for your own peace of mind.

Letting go doesn’t mean forgetting or allowing someone to take advantage of you again. It means releasing the negative emotions tied to that event and choosing happiness over anger.

You’ll be surprised how much lighter you’ll feel once you’ve done this.

2) Overvaluing material possessions

In our pursuit of happiness, we often get entangled in the web of materialism. We start believing that the more we have, the happier we’ll be.

And trust me, as someone who was once caught in this cycle, I can tell you it’s a trap. Material possessions may bring temporary joy, but they don’t lead to long-term happiness.

The Buddha once said, “Happiness does not depend on what you have or who you are. It solely relies on what you think.” This profound quote reminds us that true happiness comes from within, not from external possessions.

As we age, it becomes even more crucial to understand this truth. The latest gadgets, luxury cars, or designer clothes may give you a temporary high, but they won’t bring you the contentment you seek.

Instead of chasing after material possessions, focus on cultivating inner peace and contentment. These are the keys to genuine and lasting happiness as we get older.

3) Living with a bloated ego

As we get older, it’s easy to get caught up in our own self-importance. We’ve achieved things, gained experience, and it’s natural to feel a sense of pride in that.

But when pride turns into ego, it can become a barrier to happiness. Ego can make us rigid, less open to new ideas, and can create unnecessary conflicts.

I’ve seen this happen in my own life. There was a time when I thought I knew everything there was to know about mindfulness and Buddhism, and I wasn’t open to other perspectives. But then, I realized that my inflated ego was standing in the way of my growth and happiness.

In my book, “Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego”, I delve deeper into how our ego can hinder our happiness and what we can do about it.

4) Neglecting self-care

As we age, it becomes incredibly easy to neglect self-care. We often prioritize the needs of others over our own, forgetting that we can’t pour from an empty cup.

One of my favorite quotes from Buddha is, “You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” This quote serves as a powerful reminder that self-care isn’t a luxury; it’s a necessity.

Practically speaking, this means taking time out for yourself every day. It could be as simple as enjoying a cup of tea in silence, taking a walk in nature, or practicing mindfulness meditation. All the things that replenish your energy and bring you joy.

Self-care is not selfish; it’s self-love. And it’s a vital behavior to cultivate if you want to be happier as you get older. So start today. Take out some time for yourself and do something that nourishes your mind, body, and soul.

5) Living without clear values

One of the biggest blockers to happiness, at any age, is living a life that’s not aligned with our core values. When we’re out of sync with what truly matters to us, it’s like trying to row a boat against the current – it’s exhausting and frustrating.

I’ve been there. I spent a significant part of my life chasing after things that society told me were important, but they didn’t resonate with my deepest self. It was only when I started practicing mindfulness and Buddhism that I began to understand my core values and align my life accordingly.

Understanding your values is like having a compass that guides you through life. It helps you make decisions that are in harmony with your deepest self and brings you genuine happiness.

If you’re unsure about your values, Life Transition coach Jeanette Brown has an excellent exercise called Defining Your Values Exercise. It’s a practical tool that can help you understand what truly matters to you.

So if you want to be happier as you get older, take some time to define your values. Once you know what truly matters to you, it becomes much easier to let go of the things that don’t.

6) Resisting change

Change is the only constant in life. Yet, as we get older, we often find ourselves resisting it.

Whether it’s a change in our health, relationships, or living situation, it can be daunting to accept and adapt to these shifts. But resisting change only causes stress and unhappiness.

Instead, try embracing change. See it as an opportunity for growth, learning, and new experiences.

A practical way to do this is by practicing mindfulness. Mindfulness helps us stay present and accept things as they are, instead of clinging onto how we want them to be.

7) Getting caught up in the past or future

As we get older, it’s easy to get caught up in the past or future. We may find ourselves dwelling on past mistakes or worrying about the uncertainties of the future. But doing so robs us of the joy of the present moment.

I’ve learned this through my mindfulness practice. Mindfulness is all about being fully present and engaged in the here and now, without judgment.

When we’re fully present, we’re not ruminating over the past or fretting about the future. We’re able to appreciate and enjoy life as it unfolds, moment by moment.

So, if you want to be happier as you get older, try to cultivate mindfulness. Start with simple things like paying full attention while eating or walking. This small step can help you stay grounded in the present and lead to increased happiness as you age.

Remember, life is happening right now. Don’t miss it by getting caught up in the past or future.

8) Comparing yourself to others

Comparison is often called ‘the thief of joy’, and for a good reason. When we compare ourselves to others, we often end up feeling inadequate or unsatisfied with our own accomplishments.

Theodore Roosevelt once said, “Comparison is the thief of joy.” This quote rings true, especially as we age. We may compare our health, financial status or life milestones with others and feel like we’re falling behind.

But remember, everyone’s journey is unique. What matters most is not how we compare to others, but whether we’re living in alignment with our own values and goals.

So next time you find yourself comparing your life to someone else’s, remind yourself of your unique path. Focus on your own growth and celebrate your progress. It’s the key to finding happiness within yourself instead of seeking it through comparison.

9) Chasing after happiness

This might sound counterintuitive, but one of the behaviors we need to say goodbye to if we want to be happier as we get older, is ironically, the constant chasing of happiness.

We’ve been conditioned to believe that we’ll be happy when we achieve a certain goal, buy a particular thing, or reach a specific milestone. But this constant pursuit often leaves us feeling empty and unsatisfied.

I’ve experienced this in my own journey. I realized that the more I chased after happiness, the more elusive it became. It was only when I stopped chasing and started appreciating the present moment that I found genuine contentment.

10) Ignoring your physical health

Aging comes with its own set of physical challenges. It’s easy to ignore these or put them on the back burner. But neglecting your physical health can significantly impact your happiness.

The practical steps are simple: maintain a balanced diet, exercise regularly, get enough sleep, and go for regular health check-ups.

Even small changes can make a big difference in your physical health and happiness as you age. It’s time to make your physical health a priority, and watch how it enhances your overall happiness.

To wrap up, aging happily isn’t about avoiding the inevitable changes that come with growing older. It’s about adapting our behaviors to align with a life of contentment and fulfillment.

From letting go of grudges and ego to embracing change and practicing self-care, these behaviors can significantly enhance our happiness as we age.

If you’re unsure about your values, I highly recommend Jeanette Brown’s Defining Your Values Exercise. It’s a great tool to help you understand what truly matters to you.

In the end, the secret to aging happily isn’t found in a fountain of youth, but in the choices we make and the behaviors we cultivate. So choose wisely, live mindfully, and embrace the journey of growing older with grace and happiness.