If you find meeting new people awkward, try these 9 conversational tricks

Ethan Sterling by Ethan Sterling | August 6, 2024, 10:42 am

There’s a subtle art to striking up a conversation with someone new. It can feel awkward, daunting even.

The trick is knowing how to navigate the conversation – how to ask the right questions, how to respond, how to keep things flowing.

In this article , I’m going to share some of my go-to strategies that make meeting new people less of a challenge and more of an adventure. Let’s dive in!

1) The power of open-ended questions

Engaging in conversation with someone new can feel like a high-stakes balancing act. You want to come across as interested but not intrusive.

This is where open-ended questions come into play.

Open-ended questions are designed to invite more than a yes or no response. They encourage the other person to share their thoughts, feelings, and experiences, creating a deeper connection.

Think about it. Instead of asking “Do you like your job?” (which can be answered with a simple yes or no), try asking “What do you enjoy most about your job?” This not only shows you’re genuinely interested, but it also opens up the conversation for further discussion.

The goal here is to make the other person feel comfortable and willing to share. Use open-ended questions as a tool to navigate the conversation smoothly without making it feel like an interrogation.

But be genuine in your curiosity. People can tell when you’re simply going through the motions.

2) The ‘me too’ moment

Nothing bonds people faster than finding common ground. It’s like an instant connection, a ‘me too’ moment.

Let me share a personal example. I remember attending a networking event where I knew no one. I was feeling pretty nervous and a little out of place.

Then I happened to overhear someone talking about their recent hiking trip. Now, I’m an avid hiker myself, so I saw this as my chance to join in the conversation.

I shared some of my own hiking experiences, and soon enough, we were engaged in a lively discussion about our favorite trails and the challenges we’ve faced.

This shared interest broke the ice and made the conversation flow more naturally. It also provided a foundation for us to build a rapport.

3) Mastering the art of listening

When we think of conversation, we often focus on what we’re going to say next. But conversation is a two-way street, and listening plays a huge role.

In fact, research has shown that we spend 60% of our conversations talking about ourselves. But when we actively listen to others, they find us more likable.

Active listening involves fully focusing on the other person. It’s not just about hearing the words they say but understanding the complete message being sent.

When you actively listen, you’re not only showing respect, but you’re also gathering information. This information can then be used to guide the conversation, ask relevant questions and build a deeper connection with the individual.

4) Leverage the power of names

Names are powerful. They’re a significant part of our identity. And when someone uses our name in a conversation, it shows that they value us and are paying attention.

Using someone’s name in conversation can help establish a personal connection. It can make the person feel seen and appreciated.

But here’s the catch – it needs to be used appropriately. Overuse can come across as insincere or even manipulative. And forgetting or mispronouncing someone’s name can be seen as disrespectful.

Try to use the other person’s name a few times during your conversation. Not only will it help you remember their name, but it will also create a positive impression.

5) Embrace the power of silence

In our rush to fill every pause, we often forget that silence can be a powerful tool in a conversation.

Silence gives people time to process what’s been said, formulate their thoughts and express themselves more effectively. It shows that you’re comfortable with them and the conversation.

Yet, for many of us, silence in a conversation can feel awkward. But it doesn’t have to be. The key is to be comfortable with those quiet moments and use them to your advantage.

Next time you find yourself rushing to fill a silence, resist the urge. Instead, allow space for the other person to think and respond. You might find that this leads to deeper and more meaningful conversations.

6) Show genuine empathy

We all want to feel understood, to know that our feelings and experiences matter. That’s where empathy comes in.

Empathy is about truly understanding where the other person is coming from. Putting yourself in their shoes and seeing the world through their eyes.

When you show genuine empathy in a conversation, it can create a powerful connection. It can make the other person feel seen, heard, and valued.

Show genuine empathy. It might just be the key to turning an awkward conversation into a meaningful connection.

7) Be your authentic self

When meeting new people, it can be tempting to put on a persona or try to be someone you’re not.

I’ve been there, trying to fit in, saying things I thought the other person wanted to hear. But I’ve found that the conversations that truly resonate, the ones that build lasting connections, are those where I’m simply myself.

Being authentic means showing up as your true self, with your unique blend of strengths, quirks, and vulnerabilities. Expressing your thoughts and opinions honestly, even if they’re different from the norm.

It’s a liberating feeling to know that you’re being accepted for who you truly are.

8) Use body language to your advantage

Body language is a powerful communication tool. It can enhance your verbal communication, express your emotions, and even set the tone of the conversation.

Positive body language can help to put the other person at ease. This includes maintaining eye contact, nodding to show understanding, and leaning in slightly to show interest.

On the flip side, negative body language like crossing your arms or avoiding eye contact can create barriers and make the other person feel uncomfortable.

So, pay attention to your body language. Use it to convey openness, interest, and respect.

9) Practice makes perfect

Like any other skill, mastering the art of conversation takes practice.

It’s normal to feel awkward at first. But with time and consistent effort, you’ll find your rhythm and develop your unique conversational style.

Don’t be too hard on yourself if things don’t go perfectly at first. Each interaction is a learning experience.

Keep practicing, keep learning, and most importantly, keep showing up. You’ve got this!

Final thoughts: Connection is a human need

At the heart of our existence lies a fundamental need for connection. As social creatures, we thrive on the bonds and relationships we forge with others.

Yet, the art of conversation – a key bridge to these connections – can often feel like navigating a labyrinth, especially when meeting new people.

But remember, every master was once a beginner. Every eloquent speaker, every charismatic conversationalist started somewhere. They stumbled, they learned, and they grew. And you can too.

Let these conversational tricks be your guide as you venture into new interactions. Let them help you turn those awkward moments into opportunities for connection.

Because, at the end of the day, it’s not just about mastering dialogue or perfecting small talk. It’s about understanding and embracing our shared humanity – one conversation at a time.