In relationships, it’s easy to fall into patterns that can lead to one partner taking the other for granted.

The difference between a thriving relationship and a failing one often comes down to habits. Unhealthy habits can breed resentment, while healthy ones foster respect and appreciation.

If you don’t want your partner to take you for granted, there are certain habits you’ll need to kick to the curb.

This article will be your guide to saying goodbye to those nine habits that may be hurting your relationship.

And remember, it’s all about creating a relationship where both partners feel valued and respected.

1) Always being available

In relationships, availability is a double-edged sword.

On the one hand, being there for your partner when they need you is crucial. It’s a key component of support and shows that you care.

But always being on-call? That’s a different story.

When you’re perpetually available, it can inadvertently communicate to your partner that your time isn’t valuable, that you have no other commitments or interests outside of them. Over time, this can lead to your partner taking your time and presence for granted.

Striking a balance is essential. Being there for your partner doesn’t mean you have to be at their beck and call 24/7.

It’s okay to have your own time. It’s okay to pursue your own interests. And it’s okay to say “no” sometimes.

By setting boundaries and valuing your own time, you teach your partner to do the same.

2) Over-apologizing

I used to be an over-apologizer – I would say sorry for even the slightest mistakes, for things that weren’t even my fault.

One time, I remember apologizing when my partner forgot our anniversary. I found myself saying “I’m sorry, I should have reminded you.” It was then I realized how unhealthy my habit of over-apologizing had become.

Apologizing when necessary is important for maintaining a healthy relationship. However, constantly saying sorry, especially for things out of your control or not your responsibility, can lead your partner to take you for granted.

It took me some time to break this habit, but when I did, I noticed a significant change in my relationship. My partner began to respect me more and our communication improved.

It’s okay to apologize when you’re at fault, but don’t let “sorry” become a reflex response to every situation.

3) Neglecting self-care

Self-care is more than just a buzzword. It’s an essential part of maintaining both physical and mental health. According to a study published in the Journal of Health Psychology, individuals who practice regular self-care report higher levels of self-esteem and life satisfaction.

Yet, in relationships, it’s easy to lose yourself in the process of caring for another person. You may put your partner’s needs before your own, skip your workouts to spend time with them, or neglect your hobbies because you think it will make them happy.

However, neglecting self-care can lead your partner to take you for granted. When you always put yourself last, your partner might begin to expect it.

Prioritizing self-care isn’t selfish. It’s necessary. Taking time for yourself not only benefits you but also contributes to a healthier and more balanced relationship.

Whether it’s working out, reading a book, or just spending some quiet time alone, ensure you make time for self-care.

4) Ignoring your own needs

In a relationship, it’s crucial to be aware of and vocalize your own needs.

When you continually sideline your needs, desires, and aspirations for the sake of your partner, it may lead to them taking you for granted. They may start to see this as the norm and fail to recognize your sacrifices.

Expressing your needs doesn’t mean you’re selfish or demanding. It simply means you’re acknowledging that you’re an individual with unique needs and desires.

A healthy relationship is about mutual respect and understanding.

Don’t shy away from communicating what you need from your partner – whether it’s emotional support, help with chores, or some alone time.

Being upfront about your needs can lead to a more balanced and fulfilling relationship.

5) Avoiding confrontation

Confrontation isn’t always a bad thing. In fact, it’s often necessary for the growth and health of a relationship.

When you constantly avoid confrontation, you might think you’re keeping the peace. But in reality, you could be allowing your partner to overlook issues or behaviors that need addressing.

Silence can be interpreted as acceptance. By not speaking up when something bothers you, your partner might assume it’s okay, leading them to take your feelings for granted.

A healthy relationship involves open communication. Don’t be afraid to address issues head-on. It may lead to temporary discomfort, but it can ultimately strengthen your bond and ensure that your feelings are respected and not taken for granted.

6) Losing your individuality

Love has a peculiar way of making us merge our lives with our partners. It’s a beautiful process, but in this merger, it’s important not to lose sight of who you are as an individual.

I’ve seen countless friends fall into the trap of giving up their individuality in relationships. They start doing everything their partner enjoys, even if it means giving up their own hobbies and interests.

Before they know it, they’ve become a shadow of their former selves, living a life that’s more about pleasing their partner than expressing their own identity. This not only leads to personal dissatisfaction but also allows the partner to take them for granted.

Never forget that you’re an individual first. You have your own tastes, hobbies, and passions. And it’s okay to have a life outside your relationship. In fact, it’s necessary.

Maintaining your individuality is not only vital for your personal growth but also keeps your relationship vibrant and balanced. It reminds your partner that you’re a unique person who brings something special to the table.

7) Constantly picking up after them

In a past relationship, I found myself always cleaning up after my partner. He’d leave his clothes on the floor, dishes in the sink, and I’d be the one tidying up. In my mind, I was just being helpful.

But over time, I realized this was contributing to him taking me for granted. He started expecting me to clean up after him, not acknowledging that it was an additional burden on me.

Household chores should be shared responsibilities, not one person’s job. By constantly picking up after your partner, you’re allowing them to shirk their responsibilities and take your efforts for granted.

Have an open discussion about chore distribution and make sure it’s fair. It might seem like a small thing, but it can have a significant impact on how your partner values your contributions to the relationship.

8) Suppressing your emotions

Emotions are a natural part of being human. They’re a clear indicator of your mental and emotional state and should never be suppressed or ignored.

When you constantly hide your emotions from your partner, whether out of fear of confrontation or to maintain a facade of happiness, you’re doing a disservice to yourself and your relationship.

Suppressing your emotions can make your partner oblivious to your feelings, leading them to take you for granted. They might assume everything’s fine when it’s not.

Open communication is key in any relationship. Don’t be afraid to express how you feel, be it happiness, sadness, or frustration. Your feelings are valid, and expressing them allows your partner to understand and respect your emotional boundaries.

9) Settling for less

In relationships, settling for less than you deserve is the quickest route to being taken for granted.

When you consistently accept behavior that doesn’t meet your standards or compromise your values to please your partner, you’re sending a message that it’s okay for them to treat you poorly.

But remember this: You are worthy of respect, love, and kindness. You deserve a partner who values you and never takes you for granted.

Don’t settle. Stand up for yourself, voice your concerns, and demand the respect you deserve. Your relationship will be better off for it.

Final thoughts: It’s about mutual respect

At the heart of every thriving relationship is mutual respect.

Respect, in essence, is acknowledging the worth and dignity of another person. It’s about valuing their time, their efforts, their feelings, and most importantly, their individuality.

When respect is mutual in a relationship, the chances of one partner taking the other for granted diminish significantly.

Remember, you are not just someone’s partner; you are your own person with unique needs and aspirations. Never let these be overshadowed by your commitment to your partner.

Breaking habits that lead to being taken for granted isn’t easy, but it’s worth it. It paves the way for a more balanced and fulfilling relationship.

So value yourself, voice your needs, maintain your individuality, and above all else, never settle for less than the respect you deserve. As the renowned psychoanalyst Esther Perel once said, “The quality of our relationships determines the quality of our lives.”