There’s a fine line between being a loving partner and being taken for granted.

It’s all about balance. You want to be there for your partner, but at the same time, you don’t want to lose yourself in the process.

The truth? There are certain habits that can lead your partner to take you for granted.

I’m Tina Fey, the founder of Love Connection and a relationship expert. In my years of experience, I’ve seen how these habits can slowly chip away at a relationship.

In this article, I’ll share the 8 habits you need to bid goodbye to, if you want to keep your relationship strong and balanced. 

Let’s get started. 

1) Always being available

We all want to be there for our partners, right? It’s part of being in a relationship.

However, there’s a difference between supporting your partner and being available to them 24/7.

In my years of advising couples, I’ve seen how this habit can make your partner take you for granted. It’s as if you’re always on standby, ready to cater to their every whim.

It’s all about setting boundaries. You don’t need to drop everything at a moment’s notice just because your partner needs something.

Believe me, it’s okay to say no sometimes. It’s okay to have time for yourself.

Saying goodbye to this habit doesn’t mean you’re neglecting your partner. It simply means giving value to your own time and needs.

2) Overcompensating in the relationship

You know what they say, “The road to hell is paved with good intentions.”

That quote has always struck a chord with me, especially when it comes to relationships.

Sometimes, we try so hard to make our partners happy that we end up overcompensating. We do more than our fair share in the relationship, hoping it will make our partners appreciate us more.

But here’s a hard truth: overcompensating can actually lead your partner to take you for granted.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s great to give in a relationship. But remember, it’s a two-way street.

It’s not about keeping score, but recognizing that both you and your partner have roles to play.

In the wise words of Audrey Hepburn, “The best thing to hold onto in life is each other.”

But holding onto each other means both of you contribute to the relationship equally.

3) Ignoring your own needs

One thing I’ve noticed in my years of counseling couples is how easy it is for us to ignore our own needs in a relationship.

We focus so much on what our partner wants or needs that we forget about ourselves.

And while it’s important to consider your partner’s needs, neglecting your own can lead to resentment and, yes, you guessed it – being taken for granted.

In my book Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship, I delve deeper into this issue.

I believe it’s crucial to maintain a sense of self even while you’re in a relationship. It’s about understanding that your needs and wants matter too.

4) Trying to avoid conflict at all costs

Here’s something you might find surprising: avoiding conflict isn’t always a good thing.

We often think that a peaceful relationship is a good relationship. And yes, peace is important, but not when it comes at the cost of burying your feelings or opinions.

In reality, conflict can be healthy. It can lead to better understanding, deeper connection and growth in the relationship.

If you always stifle your feelings to avoid an argument, your partner might start taking your compliance for granted. They might assume that you’re always okay with everything, which simply isn’t fair to you.

Don’t shy away from expressing your disagreements. As they say, “The only thing worse than a battle lost is a battle not fought.” It’s okay to fight for what you believe in, even in a relationship. It’s about respect and mutual understanding.

5) Not expressing appreciation

This might sound a bit odd coming from me, a relationship expert who’s usually telling people to demand appreciation. But hear me out.

Sometimes, we get so caught up in wanting to be appreciated that we forget to express our own appreciation for our partners.

I’ve learned this in my own relationships. It’s easy to take for granted what’s always there. But the truth is, everyone likes to feel valued and noticed.

If you stop showing appreciation for your partner, they might start taking you for granted. It’s a weird cycle, but it happens.

Say thank you. Show gratitude. Recognize their efforts. It can make a world of difference, and it can remind them to do the same for you.

6) Fearing to be alone

Let’s get real here. One of the reasons we allow ourselves to be taken for granted is because we’re afraid to be alone.

It’s a fear many of us carry, and it can push us to accept less than we deserve in a relationship.

But here’s the thing: you’re enough on your own. Yes, relationships can bring joy and companionship, but they’re not a measure of your worth.

Don’t cling to a relationship where you’re taken for granted out of fear of being alone. You deserve respect, love, and appreciation, just like everyone else.

This might be hard to hear, but sometimes saying goodbye to a relationship is healthier than holding onto one where you’re constantly overlooked. Remember, you are enough.

7) Not setting clear boundaries

It took me a while to learn this one in my own relationships, but setting clear boundaries is crucial.

Without them, it’s easy for your partner to take you for granted. They might not even realize they’re doing it because you’ve not communicated what you’re comfortable with and what you’re not.

Boundaries are not about limiting your partner. They’re about respecting your own needs and well-being.

Here’s a quote from the brilliant Brene Brown that I absolutely love, “Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves, even when we risk disappointing others.”

It’s so true. Setting boundaries might feel uncomfortable at first, but it’s a key step to ensuring you’re not taken for granted.

8) Losing sight of your worth

This is perhaps the hardest habit to break, but it’s also the most important.

When we lose sight of our worth, we allow others to define it for us. This can lead to being taken for granted in a relationship.

You’re worth more than how you’re treated when you’re taken for granted. You deserve respect, love, and appreciation.

Don’t let anyone make you feel less than what you are. Recognizing your worth can be a long journey, but it’s one worth taking.

You are valuable. You are enough. And you should never accept being taken for granted as the norm in your relationship. It’s not easy to stand up for yourself, but trust me, it’s necessary.

Conclusion

Saying goodbye to these eight habits isn’t going to be easy, but it’s certainly worth it.

Being in a relationship should never mean losing your sense of self or your worth. It’s about mutual respect, love, and appreciation.

I’ve gone into more depth on some of these topics in my book Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship. I encourage you to give it a read if any of these points resonated with you.

Remember, you deserve to be treated with respect and love. Don’t settle for less. Take care of yourself, and don’t be afraid to demand the same from your partner. You’re worth it.