If you don’t want your partner to feel unappreciated, say goodbye to these habits

Isabella Chase by Isabella Chase | May 7, 2024, 11:36 pm

When it comes to relationships, ensuring our partners feel cherished and valued is paramount.

Yet, amidst the chaos of daily life, it’s all too easy to unintentionally neglect the very essence of our relationships. Maybe it’s time to pause, reflect, and acknowledge the habits that may unknowingly chip away at our partner’s sense of worth. 

From failing to express gratitude for their efforts to allowing distractions to monopolize our attention, these seemingly small actions can sow seeds of discontent in the hearts of those we hold most dear. 

In this article, we’ll explore 9 habits that threaten to diminish the love we share. Letting go of these behaviors will help us open the door to a deeper, more profound connection.

1) Taking them for granted

This is a big one. We get so comfortable in our relationships that we forget to appreciate the person who’s there for us every day.

It’s easy to start seeing your partner’s contributions as expected, rather than as acts of love. Whether it’s cooking dinner, doing the laundry, or just being there to listen after a tough day – these are all things they do because they care about you.

And yet, we often forget to acknowledge these small daily gestures. Instead, we come to expect them as given, and in doing so, we start to make our partners feel neglected and undervalued.

The result?

Our once-strong bonds begin to fray, and seeds of resentment take root in the relationship.

2) Not listening

I’ll admit, this habit hit home for me.

There was a time when my partner would be sharing about her day, and I’d be nodding along, but not really listening. I’d be thinking about work, or what to make for dinner, or a million other things.

One day, she sat me down and told me how much this hurt her. She felt like I didn’t value what she was saying, and by extension, didn’t value her.

That was a wake-up call for me.

I realized that by not giving her my full attention when she spoke, I was inadvertently making her feel unimportant. And that’s the last thing I wanted.

So now, no matter how tired or distracted I am, when my partner talks to me, I make a conscious effort to really listen. It’s made a world of difference in our relationship.

If you’ve fallen into the trap of passive listening, it’s time to break the habit. Trust me; your partner will appreciate it.

3) Neglecting small acts of kindness

You might not realize it, but small acts of kindness are like glue in a relationship. They hold everything together and make your partner feel cherished and valued.

According to a study by Dr. John Gottman, relationships where the partners regularly perform small acts of kindness for one another have a significantly higher chance of lasting.

These don’t have to be grand gestures. It could be as simple as making them a cup of coffee in the morning, leaving them a sweet note, or just holding their hand when they’re stressed.

Neglecting these little gestures can lead to your partner feeling unappreciated. So, make it a point to incorporate small acts of kindness into your daily routine. You’ll be surprised at the impact it can have on your relationship.

4) Failing to communicate your appreciation

Communication, as they say, is key. But it’s not just about discussing issues or planning your future together. It’s also about expressing your feelings of appreciation.

Many of us assume our partners know we appreciate them. But the truth is, we all need to hear it from time to time.

Failing to verbally express your appreciation can make your partner feel unacknowledged and unvalued.

Hence, don’t just assume they know how you feel. Tell them. It could be as simple as saying, “I appreciate you,” or “I’m grateful for everything you do.”

Make it a habit to communicate your appreciation regularly, and you’ll see a significant positive shift in your relationship.

5) Being overly critical

We all have our flaws and make mistakes. It’s part of being human. But how we handle those mistakes in a relationship can make a world of difference.

Being overly critical can make your partner feel unappreciated and belittled. It can create a negative atmosphere and cause them to start doubting themselves.

Instead of focusing on their mistakes, try focusing on their strengths. Show understanding when they mess up and offer constructive feedback instead of criticism.

6) Forgetting to say ‘I love you’

It might sound cliché, but never underestimate the power of these three words.

In the hustle and bustle of life, we often forget to express our love verbally. We assume that our actions are enough, or that our partner already knows how we feel.

But hearing ‘I love you’ can make your partner feel cherished and valued. It reassures them of your feelings and reinforces your bond.

Don’t let a day go by without saying ‘I love you’ to your partner. It’s a small habit to cultivate, but it can make a huge difference in making sure they never feel unappreciated.

7) Ignoring their needs

There was a time when I was so engrossed in my work and personal projects that I completely overlooked my partner’s needs. I didn’t even realize it until she broke down one day and shared how neglected she felt.

That was a tough pill to swallow. I had been so wrapped up in my own world that I failed to see her needs were not being met.

Ignoring your partner’s needs, whether they’re emotional or physical, can make them feel unappreciated and uncared for.

Listen up: If you want to be in a healthy relationship, it’s essential to check in with your partner regularly, understand what they need from you, and do your best to fulfill those needs. It’s about being present, empathetic, and responsive.

8) Not spending quality time together

Not spending quality time together can take a toll on your relationship. It sends a message that other things are more important than your partner.

Quality time doesn’t necessarily mean extravagant dates or expensive vacations. It could be as simple as having a quiet dinner together, taking a walk in the park, or just cuddling up on the couch with a movie.

Make it a point to carve out some quality time for your partner every day. It’s a simple habit to adopt that can make your partner feel seen and remembered.

9) Not making them a priority

Consistently choosing other priorities over your partner sends a powerful message that they’re not cherished or significant in your life.

For instance, constantly opting for work meetings over date nights sends a clear signal: “Sorry honey, but that PowerPoint presentation is more thrilling than your company!”

This neglect can cause deep emotional wounds. Consistently sidelining or overlooking your partner can erode the bedrock of trust and intimacy that holds your relationship together.

Remember, quality time and attention are the lifeblood of a thriving partnership and essential for nurturing connection.

Final thoughts: It’s about conscious effort

The dynamics of relationships are complex, woven from threads of emotion, understanding, and mutual respect.

At the heart of every successful relationship is the feeling of being appreciated. It’s a fundamental human need that nurtures love and fosters connection.

Breaking the habits that make your partner feel unappreciated requires conscious effort and constant self-reflection. But remember, every step you take towards breaking these habits is a step towards a healthier, happier, and more fulfilling relationship.