Being a grandparent is an incredible privilege, but it’s also a big responsibility. If you’re not careful, you can quickly become the grandparent that no one wants to visit.

This isn’t about being the “fun” grandparent who spoils their grandkids with candy and gifts. It’s about fostering a relationship based on respect, understanding, and love.

There are certain behaviors that can create a wedge between you and your grandchildren. And as someone who’s been there, done that, I’m here to tell you it’s time to say goodbye to these 8 behaviors.

So, if you don’t want your grandkids to dread their visits or roll their eyes when your name is mentioned, keep reading.

1) Micromanaging their lives

As grandparents, it’s tempting to step in and try to steer your grandkids’ lives, especially when you see them heading down a path you perceive as wrong.

But consider this: no one likes to be micromanaged, especially not kids. They crave independence and the freedom to make their own choices.

When you constantly interfere and try to control every aspect of their lives, it’s not only annoying but also disempowering for them. It sends the message that you don’t trust their judgment or abilities.

It’s okay to offer guidance and insight based on your own experiences, but remember that it’s ultimately their lives, their decisions.

So, if you want your grandkids to value their time with you rather than avoiding it, it’s time to stop micromanaging their lives. Let them make mistakes and learn from them. After all, that’s how we all grow and develop as individuals.

Remember, your role as a grandparent is to provide love and support, not control.

2) Being overly critical

I remember when my own grandson, Jack, was learning to ride a bike. I watched him struggle and fall, scrape his knees, and get back up again. The urge to point out his mistakes was strong. I wanted to tell him how he could balance better, how he could avoid falling next time, but I held my tongue.

Why? Because no one enjoys being constantly criticized. It’s demoralizing and can negatively impact their self-esteem.

Instead, I chose to cheer Jack on, celebrating his effort and resilience. And you know what? He learned to ride that bike all on his own. The pride in his eyes was something I’ll never forget.

Being a grandparent doesn’t mean you have to correct every mistake your grandkids make. Sometimes, what they need is encouragement and a cheerleader, not a critic. So, the next time you feel the need to be overly critical, remember Jack’s story. And choose to be their biggest fan instead.

3) Ignoring their interests

Did you know that by the age of seven, most children have developed distinct interests and hobbies? Whether it’s collecting stamps, learning about dinosaurs, or playing football, these interests play a crucial role in shaping their personalities and skills.

As a grandparent, it’s easy to dismiss these interests as fleeting or trivial. But that’s a mistake.

These interests are the stepping stones to your grandkids’ passions and potential careers. By showing interest in what they love, you’re not only validating their choices but also building a stronger bond with them.

So next time your grandkid excitedly talks about their latest Pokemon card acquisition or a new dance routine they learned, lean in. Ask questions. Show genuine interest. It’s a small step that can make a big difference in how they perceive their relationship with you.

4) Neglecting to set boundaries

While it’s wonderful to be the fun, indulgent grandparent, it’s equally important to set boundaries. It’s a common misconception that rules and discipline will make you the ‘bad guy’.

In reality, kids thrive in environments where they have a clear understanding of what is expected of them. Boundaries provide them with a sense of security and order. They know where they stand and what the consequences are for overstepping those boundaries.

So, don’t shy away from setting rules during their visits or when you’re babysitting. It won’t make you any less loved. Instead, it will help create a more meaningful and respectful relationship with your grandchildren.

5) Forgetting to say “I love you”

In the hustle and bustle of life, it’s easy to forget to express our feelings. But those three little words, “I love you,” hold immense power.

Your grandkids might roll their eyes or even squirm a little when you say it out loud. They might act like it’s the most embarrassing thing in the world, but don’t let that fool you. Deep down, they treasure these words.

Telling your grandkids you love them reinforces your bond and gives them a sense of security and belonging. It reaffirms that no matter what they do or how much they mess up, there’s someone who loves them unconditionally.

So, don’t just assume they know how you feel. Say it out loud. Say it often. Let “I love you” be the phrase that fills their hearts with warmth and their memories with fondness when they think of their time spent with you.

6) Dismissing their feelings

There was a time when my granddaughter came to me, teary-eyed, because her best friend had moved away. To me, it seemed like a minor hiccup in the grand scheme of life. But to her, it felt like the end of the world.

I could have dismissed her feelings as trivial or told her she’d make new friends soon. But I didn’t. Instead, I listened. I let her express her feelings, and I acknowledged her pain.

It’s easy to forget that what might seem insignificant to us can be monumental for our grandkids. Their feelings are as real and as valid as ours.

So, the next time your grandchild opens up about their fears, joys, or worries, don’t dismiss them. Listen actively. Validate their feelings. Let them know it’s okay to feel the way they do. This emotional support can strengthen your bond and make them feel valued and understood.

7) Overstepping parental boundaries

As a grandparent, you naturally have a lot of wisdom and experience to share. However, it’s essential to respect the parental boundaries set by your children.

Whether it’s about diet, screen time, bedtimes, or discipline methods, if your children have set specific rules for their kids, it’s important to respect and uphold them.

Undermining their parenting decisions not only confuses the grandkids but might also cause tension in your relationship with your own children.

Remember that while you play a crucial role in your grandkids’ lives, the primary responsibility of raising them belongs to their parents. So, support their decisions and work as a team for the benefit of your grandkids.

8) Failing to adapt

The world your grandkids are growing up in is vastly different from the one you experienced at their age. Technology, societal norms, education – everything is evolving at a rapid pace.

And while it’s comfortable to stick to what we know, it’s essential for us as grandparents to adapt and keep up with these changes.

Understanding the world they live in not only makes you more relatable but also equips you to guide them better through their challenges. So, embrace learning and stay open-minded. Adaptability might just be the key to being the grandparent every grandkid loves to visit.